Just Once More
by reigningseven
Summary: After a spectacular win at Worlds, Payson and Sasha get caught up in the celebration. Will their relationship make it through one night of stolen passion, or will it break them forever?
1. Chapter 1

Hot. That was the first thought that crossed Payson Keeler's mind, as she felt herself slipping back into the realm of consciousness. The heat was coming from the body that was pressed fully against her back, and the blanket that was tossed over them both. That thought was followed closely by an explosion of pain behind her eye sockets, and a roiling in her stomach that let her know she would definitely be seeing her dinner again. She pressed her face into the pillow with a weak groan in an attempt to stave of that inevitability.

That was the last time she let Kelly Parker, Lauren Tanner and Emily Kmetko "help" her ever again. After a few deep breaths, she rolled over to warn whichever of the girls she was sleeping with that unless they wanted to wash alcohol scented vomit out of their hair, they might want to move and fast. Opening her eyes slowly, she fully expected to see Lauren or Emily sharing in her current state of misery. The reality turned her blood to ice.

Payson was well aware at her best fate was a fickle friend. One day you're the best gymnast in the world, the next day you break your back. Fate had allowed her to become the world champion, of course there had to be a downturn of equal measure. Her sleep and alcohol addled mind struggled to process what her eyes were seeing. She realized fate was an even bigger bitch than she could have possibly fathomed. Five seconds later after the initial processing was done she found herself staring into the crystal clear ice blue depths of eyes that could only belong to one person, a very confused Sasha Belov.

* * *

It was the reception after Worlds, and she was the new All Around World Champion. The media crush after her win had been almost brutal. She knew what they had been saying prior to the competition. They thought it was admirable that she had the surgery, and it was amazing that she was even able to get back on the bars after her fall. She was a hero, a role model for coming back to the sport, but no one ever thought she would be great again. No one ever thought she could put up real scores again.

Sure they might let her perform at exhibitions, trot her out whenever they wanted a nice public relations piece, or a feel good story. Everyone would pat her on the head, and say patronizingly sweet and clichéd statements about her heroism, and her champion spirit, but no one ever expected her to rise that champion level again.

They never thought they would be able to count on her again. Behind her back, they scoffed and made snide comments about her sad, misguided attempts to get back on the Olympic track. Even her parents, they were happy she was back and they had always believed in her dreams, but she saw the fear behind their smiles. Not just the fear that she would be physically hurt again, but the fear of what would happen to her emotionallyand mentally if she couldn't be the gymnast she was before. Funnily enough, they were right. She wasn't the gymnast she had been before, she could never be that girl again.

That girl was naïve and fearless; young and inexperienced. That girl would have always been second best, because she lacked any real depth. Post accident Payson was a different animal all together, she had been broken. The pieces reassembled themelves in a way that formed a completely different girl, a more complete girl, a more complete gymnast. The gymnast she always needed to be, and there had been one person there throughout it all. The person who had become her best friend, her counselor, her partner, her confessor, her protector, her family, and her biggest fan. Alexander "Sasha" Belov. The man who was currently staring at her with dawning horror as he processed what was becoming all to evident to Payson.

After the realization fully sank in, Payson half jumped half fell out of the bed. She clutched the sheet around herself in an effort to create some sort of barrier from what she could now see was a very naked Sasha Belov. Now that there was some distance between them she gave the room a quick once over. There was the dress that she had worn to the reception in a crumpled heap by the window, and what looked to be Sasha's pants hanging from the leg of an overturned chair. She cringed when she saw her bra lying on the floor under a pair of boxers. It was plethora of evidence pointing to the undeniable fact that she and Sasha had…. engaged in… some form of… sexual congress.

The dinner that had been threatening to make reappearance since her awakening, chose that moment to do so. Placing a hand over her mouth, Payson raced for the bathroom slamming the door behind her. She expelled the contents of her stomach until there was nothing left. Sinking down to the floor she leaned her back against the bathtub and closed her eyes wishing that the last ten minutes no scratch that the last ten hours had never happened.

She felt the coldness from the floor seeping through her skin and settling in her blood. What was she supposed to do? How could she go back out there and face him? Granted, she had never been in a situation even remotely close to this one, but she knew intellectually what had occurred between them.

Trying to put her racing thoughts into some semblance of order, Payson stood up and walked over to the sink. Using the hotel provided mouthwash to rid her mouth of vomit reside. Throwing ice-cold water on her face, she attempted to calm her emotions, which seemed to be racing even more than her thoughts.

Her first order of business was to get dressed and get away from the scene of the crime. It was hard to think rationally standing naked in a hotel bathroom, and it was even harder to think, knowing there was an equally naked Sasha on the other side of the door. Gathering her last vestiges of courage, the tiny fragments of self-respect and dignity she had left, and a hotel provided robe for modesty's sake, Payson prepared to exit the bathroom.

Her hand hovered over the doorknob. She couldn't just turn tail and run away. She had done that before, and the man on the other side of the door taught her that you have to confront difficult situations. This was by far the most difficult situation in which she had ever found herself. Steadying her nerves she reached for the door again, this time with the intent to walk out there, and figure out how to handle this situation, together.

She didn't know what exactly it was she expected to see upon her exit, but it wasn't to find Sasha sitting in the same spot staring at a spot on the bed with a blank look on his face. He didn't even look up when she came back into the room. She began to approach him, slowly gathering her confidence along the way. Sasha would know what to do, he always knew what to do. She simply had to make sure he knew that leaving was not an option. They could get through this, she would make sure they got through this. As she got closer, she glanced down at the bed and noticed that the spot he was looking at wasn't arbitrary. His gaze was fixed on a red stain, a bloodstain, her bloodstain.

The actual physical evidence of what had transpired brought her up short, and all notions of having a calm and mature conversation fled. Her sharp intake of breath seemed to jolt him out of his trance. His eyes shot up to hers and they were filled with pain. He looked tormented.

"Sasha…" Payson started quietly, sensing that things were quickly taking a turn for the worse.

"No!" he roared causing her to jump back. He reached for his shirt, which had been on the floor next to him, and began shoving his arms through. Standing, he began fumbling around looking for what she assumed to be the rest of his clothes. She reached over and picked up his pants, tossing them on the bed. He snatched them up and through them on just a quickly and violently as he had his shirt.

"Sas…" she started again

"You need to stay away from me." He ground out in a strangled whisper.

Payson shrank back from the vitriol in his tone, he was furious. Grabbing her dress off the floor she pulled it over her head. He was still standing on the other side of the bed eyeing her, the door, and the distance between as though trying to figure out a complex math problem. She realized that his response had lessened her resolve to hash things out he didn't seem to be making a move, it looked like she would have to be the first to exit this little party. Turning to pick up her shoes from last night, she walked towards the door, but just like earlier in the bathroom her hand hovered above it. She turned to find Sasha staring intently at her.

"I am sorry for what happened, I'm sorry that you are angry with me and I'm… I'm just sorry and I hope one day you can forgive me." She sucked back the tears and squared her shoulders and opened the door; a hand slammed past her face and shut it again.

"You have nothing for which to apologize. This, all of this, is my fault. I have failed you. I made you …"

"No you didn't Sasha. You can't possibly think that this is all your fault. You don't get to take the blame for everything. Yes, this happened but it is not just your fault."

"I took your virginity from you!" He exclaimed. "It didn't belong to me, I didn't deserve it, but yet I took it from you anyway…I stole it from you. What kind of a monster does that make me? What kind of a man…" he trailed off.

"You didn't take anything!" She said pushing her hand into his chest. "You didn't steal it!" She pushed him again. Maybe physicality would help it sink in, "It was mine to give and I gave it to you because…" she trailed off, "because I wanted too…. I wanted to, and you don't get to take that decision away from me."

"I am the adult. I should have known better. You were drinking the responsibility fell to me, and I failed you." He whispered

"You were drinking too," she protested.

"But I should have known better," he stressed, raising his voice a little, "I should have protected you from myself. Nothing changes the fact that I failed to do that, I should have said no and sent you on your way, but because I couldn't, we have ended up in this mess. Payson this is my fault, and I swear I will find some way to make it up to you.''

She shut her eyes. She really needed to get out of here and think. So much had happened, and she needed to sort through her feelings. She turned back to the door to leave, twisting her head slightly to her right she whispered, "Just please don't leave me, I wont make it if you leave again…"

"Payson…." He started. His tone held a certain resignation in it.

"No," she countered a bit more forcefully rounding on him. "You said you want to make it up to me, then keep your promise and take me to the Olympic. Stay with me and take me to the Olympics. The rest will just have to work itself out, and it will just as long as you don't leave. " The last part came out in a whisper.

"You don't know what you are asking." He said averting his eyes for a moment before raising them to stare deeply into hers, "You have no idea what you are asking me to do."

"Yes I do I'm asking you to stay. Stay with me. Stay for me. Just stay." She whispered, holding his eyes for a long minute. He let out a deep breath, and nodded his head once. She gave him a watery smile and then slipped out of the room.

* * *

So nothing is changing I am just revising the grammar and fixing some errors. The story is staying the same. After rereading this I am utterly amazed everyone didnt give up after the second paragraph long sentence. That you guys read through the mistakes and liked the story anyhow makes me love you even more. This was my first attempt at writing anything and i was so excited to post, that it basically went on the page the way it was in my head, mistakes and all. I will slowly be revising all of the chapters so that they are worthy of the magnificent people who choose to read them. Thank you again.


	2. Chapter 2

ch. 2

As soon as the door was closed, Sasha took a deep breath, and then slammed his fist into the wall. What had he done? Well, he knew what he had done, but why? How? He turned and placed his back against the door only to be confronted by the mussed bed. It's linens in complete disarray; he closed his eyes to block out the image, only to be assaulted by even more vivid memories. Perhaps that would be his punishment, his penance, to spend the rest of his days reliving the taste of her skin on his tongue, the smell of her arousal, hearing a constant replay of her breathy moans in his ear, the sweet stinging bite of her nails scraping down his back, the sight of her bare before him, trusting him, begging for him, the feel of her surrounding him as he acquiesced to pleas. This time he slammed his head into the wall in an effort to dislodge the images. What had he done?

He remembered last night clearly the alcohol-induced haze provided no respite from the actual memories.

* * *

Flashback

He was leaning up against the bar, not really paying attention to his surroundings, and wishing he was anywhere but a ballroom full of leeches and snobs. The reception was mandatory, so he decided to stay just long enough to congratulate Payson and his other girls on a job well done, and then get the hell out of there.

He wondered what was taking them so long, the party had been in full swing for almost an hour. While Lauren could be counted on to be fashionably late he expected the presence of Payson and Emily to negate that. Turning to flag the bartender down and place an order, he saw that the man's attention was fixated elsewhere. After three ineffectual attempts to garner his attention, he turned over his shoulder to see what has the man so enraptured. That was the beginning of the end.

Her hair was down, in a mix of tousled waves and curls flowing over her shoulders. Even from the distance he could see that her eyes were sparkling and she was glowing. Lauren and Emily were by her side, but he barely noticed them. She was radiant. His eyes moved from her face to take in the rest of her. He really wished he hadn't. She was wearing a white lace dress. It had a neckline that started just below her clavicles showing off her toned shoulders, but more than her shoulders, it hugged the generous curves of her hips and chest, stopping about five inches above her knees. He knew immediately the dress did not belong to her. His Payson would never own something like that. It wasn't overtly sexy, but it was suggestive, sensual, and that was so much worse.

He dragged his eyes away, and took in the rest of the room. He and the bartender weren't the only people to notice the new arrivals. Many an appreciative and predatory glance was being sent the Rock girls way. Abandoning his quest for hydration, and shaking those lecherous thoughts from his head, he made his way over to them. Payson noticed him first, and though he though it impossible her smile grew even wider, that smile he felt she only reserved for him.

"Sasha," she greeted, causing her companions to follow suit with a chorus of hey Sasha's, including the fourth person he didn't notice initially, Kelly Parker. He knew she was Payson's roommate, but he didn't really think they would be showing up to parties together.

"Hello ladies. You all look lovely this evening." He addressed the entire group, but couldn't stop his eyes from lingering on Payson

"Yeah we do. " was Lauren Tanners reply, causing Kelly to roll her eyes, Payson to blush, and Emily to mumble a thanks.

"I wanted to congratulate you all," he emphasized the all by looking at Kelly, "on a spectacular performance today, I believe the word historic, is being bandied about his evening"

Payson and Emily looked at each other and grinned, while Lauren smirked and Kelly smiled. They really had conquered the world today. The dream team 2.0 the media had dubbed them. Two of the all around medals had gone to the girls standing in front of him, Payson with gold and Emily the bronze. Lauren hadn't been too shabby herself scoring a gold on beam, and Kelly Parker a silver on the vault, missing a gold medal by a few thousandths of a point. For that reason the party tonight was full of sponsors itching to get their hands on any one of the girls standing before him, but especially Payson. Payson who was standing there in the angelic white dress, beaming at him like he was her favorite person in the world.

"Thanks Sasha, but part of that belongs to you. After all you got us here, and we couldn't have done it without you." Payson stated happily. She was met with a 'here, here' from Emily.

"Yeah back before they had you, I, was the best gymnast in the world," Kelly muttered under her breath.

"Kelly, a silver medal is nothing to be ashamed of," Emily offered.

"Yeah Kmetko, I'm aware, thanks for the pep talk." Kelly huffed rolling her eyes.

"Emily is new to this winning thing, she will probably sleep wearing her medals," Lauren injected in a sing -song voice.

"Lo, knock it off." Payson sighed.

"Yeah Lo-Lo, at least she has more than one medal to keep her company, tonight." Kelly Parker smirked

"Well at least mine is gold." Lauren spat.

Sensing the change in the air, and not wanting to stand around listening to them sniping, he excused himself from the squabbling medalists. "Alright then ladies, I'll leave you to it. Enjoy yourselves, and be careful, the sharks are circling." He cautioned, sparing one last glance at the angel in the white dress. She watched at him with playfully exasperated green eyes, as she tried to put an end to the outbreak of cattiness. When he got back to the bar he ordered a double, it would be the first of many that evening.

Two hours and too many drinks later, he was still at the bar when he felt her sit next to him. It was always like that when she was near him, he could feel her, sense her, literally. He was drawn to her, just as his eyes had been all night. He fought it by drowning his impure thoughts in copious amounts of whiskey, but it was still there, lurking on the periphery. Now she was sitting close enough that he could smell her perfume, and he found that he was nervous.

"Vodka and sprite please," she ordered. That was a surprise. He gave her an amused sideways glance.

"What, it's legal here. The drinking age is seventeen, and after the night I have had…"

He just nodded. They sat there in silence for a while, both nursing their drinks. He heard her order another and sigh deeply.

"What, to many people asking for your autograph, and, kissing your arse, trying to cover theirs?" He should never have cursed, or said anything like that to one of his gymnasts, inebriated or not, but then again, Payson had always been special.

She let out a bark of laughter "Something like that. My face hurts from all the fake smiling I have done, I mean it literally hurts."

"Comes with the territory, you're a celebrity now." He said taking a sip from his glass.

"When all I ever wanted was to be a gymnast." She sighed.

"Not just a gymnast, but the best gymnast. Hence the reason you are such a draw, your authenticity, your passion they love it." He said, turning and taking her in completely for the second time that night.

"Was it like this for you?" She asked, eyes boring into his. He didn't know if she realized it, but everytime she turned the full force of her gaze onto him, he felt like she was looking into his soul.

"In a sense," he said turning back to his drink, "I had a story too, and while not nearly as compelling as yours, the media always loves a gold medalist with a good story. It will be better or worse for you depending on how you look at it."

"How so?"

"Well the cat is out of the bag now. You are a beautiful and talented young woman. They are going to want to put your face on everything, from cereal boxes to luxury cars; perfume to designer clothes. Hell as someone as gorgeous as you could even end up in Victoria Secret, Sports Illustrated or walking down somebody's runway. The world is your oyster Payson Keeler, talented gorgeous but real, and accessible. You are their wet dream." It was the alcohol doing the talking. Once he opened his mouth the thoughts he'd been suppressing all evening, as he had watched her, and yes he had watched her, came tumbling out. She had attracted everyone's attention, male and female alike, they fell over themselves to get to her. He looked down at his glass wondering if someone had laced his drink with truth serum while he wasn't looking. He chanced a sidelong glance at her but she wasn't looking at him, she was staring intently at the glass in front of her.

There was a brief silence, and he wondered if she had even registered what he said. She let out a deep breath, "Well that sounds completely miserable."

He smiled into his glass, "Absolutely."

With that, the tension abated. They sat there for at least another hour, talking about everything from her potential sponsors, to favorite television shows. He looked around the room and saw that the crowd had thinned out considerably.

"I think I should get you back to your room now it's late, and we have to be up in a few hours to leave." Sasha said throwing enough bills on the counter to cover both their tabs.

"Right as always Sasha Belov. What would we do without you?" Payson sang standing from her chair and smiling up at him.

"Lets hope you never find out," he said, tucking her hand into the crook of his arm.

They made their way to the elevator and got off on her floor. When they got to her door, she began looking around frantically. "Do you have my key? I don't have my purse. Kelly has my purse, and my purse has my key. How do I get in without the key that my purse has? Stupid purse hiding my key." She slid down the wall and sat on the floor, leaned over and knocked on the door. "Keeelllyyyy, let me in, let me in now. If you let me innn I'll let you play with my medalsss."

If there was any doubt in his mind before it was gone now. Payson Keeler was tipsy if not drunk. It was actually somewhat funny. He felt sorry for her though, she would feel it in the morning, and traveling hung over was never any fun. After Payson's third attempt didnt recieve a response, he stood her up and they headed down to the front desk. He asked the woman for a copy of the key to Payson's room. It started going downhill, when Payson couldn't produce identification proving she was in fact staying in said room. She began told the woman she shouldn't have to show identification, because she was the world champion and everyone knew who she was. He decided that in order to avoid an international incident, they should vacate the lobby, keyless.

Debating what to do, he made what he would later deem to be the worst decision of the night. Taking her back to his room to sleep it off.

He was grateful that he had his own room this time. Walking into the tiny kitchenette he put on a pot of coffee. He looked over the short counter and laughed to himself as he watched her sitting on the edge of the bed, struggling to get out of her strappy sandals, and cursing the designers choice to make them in the first place. Once she'd freed herself he presented her the cup of strong black coffee and drank one himself. They sat in companionable silence as he watched as some clarity return to her eyes.

Sitting the cup down she turned to him with a sheepish look. "I imagine the punishment for actually getting drunk, will be worse than the punishment for going to a party and watching other people get drunk."

He scoffed, "What can I do? Remember it's legal here as you pointed out earlier."

It was her turn to scoff "I was already halfway there when I sat down next to you. All of that champagne went straight to my head. Every time I looked up someone was giving me another glass of something. Lauren most of all, something about not drinking alone, or doing it while we can."

He laughed, that sounded about right.

"Thanks for getting me back safely, and for not letting me prove to the woman at the front desk I was the world champion of gymnastics."

"Honestly if I didn't think you would have broken your back again, I would have paid big money to see you do a layout- layout across the hotel lobby, in a dress and high heels no less." He joked.

"While drunk, imagine how many sponsorships that would get." She laughed.

"Oh yes, you would have had Bacardi in the bag, with Jack Daniels banging down your door."

"Well last year Austin did win the Olympics with the worst hangover of his life. Sounds to me like alcohol pairs well with our chosen sport, and you," she said resting her hand on his arm, "you were notorious for your drunken debauchery. It makes me feel better to know I'm joining a long line of distinguished drunken athletes. The alcoholic beverage endorsement industry is missing a gold mine."

They both laughed at that. As the laughter tapered off Sasha noticed their current positions. They were pressed up against each other from shoulder to thigh, while sitting on a bed. Her hand was resting lightly on his arm, and that innocent touch was sending electric pulses through his body. He stood up quickly and faced her.

"You can have the bed, I'll take the couch."

"No. I'm better thanks to the coffee. I'll just head down to my room. I'm sure Kelly is back by now. If not I can room with Emily and Lauren. Thank you Sasha, for taking care of me…again."

"It was my pleasure. I find drunk Payson to be very entertaining. However do try to keep out of trouble for at least a day or so, give me time to rest up from this little adventure."

"My humiliation is complete. See you tomorrow.'

She got up grabbing her shoes, and he followed her to the door. At the last minute, she turned and due to the proximity of the door, they found themselves all but pressed up against one another ,again.

"Thank you for the stuff you said earlier at the bar, sometimes I…" she shook off whatever she was about to say, "anyway just thanks."

"I meant every single word of it, Payson you are truly special." His voice dropped a few octaves, causing her breathing to speed up. Just like that the air between them became super heated, charged with sparks of electricity.

He looked down at her she was biting her lip. Her fist clenched and unclenched until a look of calm determination descended over her features. It caught him off guard when she leaned up and placed a kiss on his cheek, grazing the corner of his mouth. He found himself leaning into it. She pulled back a little, and he knew he should have too. Instead he stayed there with his eyes closed, until he felt her mouth slant across his. It was the sweetest kiss she could have ever offered him infused with sincerity, love, and innocence. He took a moment to revel in it. He was unprepared when it took on an entirely different meaning. Instead of the chaste press of lips, it was her tongue reaching out to find his as her teeth nipping at his bottom lip. He let her in. It was the weakest he had ever been in his life but in the face of her overwhelming presence, her scent, the feel of her fingers grazing his scalp, and the power of the alcohol coursing through his veins, he gave in to the sweetest temptation he had ever been known. He met her stroke for stroke nip for nip taking as much as she was willing to give him.

She pulled back her eyes were closed and she was breathless. He understood her plight because he was having a hard time catching his breath as well. This was his moment, this was his chance to end it all before any other lines could be crossed. He could send her on her merry way and tuck the last few minutes of his life into that steel vault he kept at the back of his mind. Then she opened those beautiful eyes, full of lust and longing all directed at him and he was lost.

He followed her blindly, as she twined his fingers with hers and led him back into the room towards the bed. Hedidn't know if it was the alcohol that lowered his inhibitions, silencing all the voices in his head that should have been railing against what was taking place, or if their connection was just so powerful, that there was no stopping it.

It was the same connection that caused him to work so hard for her return, the connection that allowed them to work seamlessly in the gym, the connection that made them great. The thing that allowed him to overlook her ordering a drink right next to him at a bar, and the thing that was currently preventing him from stopping her as she lead him to the bed. It was as if she was some siren who had lulled him into a trance, with her pretty face and sweet kisses. All of the fight had gone out of him as soon as their lips touched. Who was this girl; this woman? Where had his shy innocent Payson gone. This woman standing in front of him, touching him, kissing him, undressing him, she was none of those things. She had complete and utter power over him, in the way that only a beautiful woman can control a man. Maybe they weren't as sober as he thought, was the last thing to cross his mind as he felt her peel his shirt from his shoulders and he surrendered his very soul to her.

End of Flashback

* * *

Now he was sitting here in his own personal hell the morning after, wondering where to go from here. There was no line that he hadn't crossed last night. He'd betrayed her trust, her family's trust, and most of all he had betrayed himself. The relationship between a coach and their athlete was sacred, and precious. His and Payson's even more so, it was the most important relationship of his life, and now it was tainted in the worst possible way.

The only right thing to do would be for him to leave. He realized even that was a selfish move on his part. On one hand he would be leaving because he thought it was what was best for Payson, but on the other hand he was leaving because didn't know if he would be able to handle seeing her everyday, and not ever being able to have her like he did last night again. So in the end he would be leaving to save himself pain and heartache. It would be torture of the worst kind, to know what he knew now, and have to look but not touch. To have her within his reach, but never be able to actually do anything about it. And maybe that was the point, maybe that was what he deserved, to have to face his mistake. To look her in the eye everyday, and offer the only thing he had left to give her; Olympic gold.

He had failed her last night. He should have stopped her at the bar, before she got drunk enough to end up in a situation where she didn't have complete control of herself. He failed her again when he didn't push her away after the kiss, when he didn't force her to leave straightaway. His personal dealings with her was nothing but a laundry list of his failures. He wouldn't let their professional relationship follow suit. He would not, could not fail her in that capacity as well. Therefore, while every fiber of him was screaming to runaway he wouldn't give in to it this time. He would stay and see this through, see her to the Olympics. Then he would get as far away from Payson Keeler as possible before he hurt her again.

* * *

*Another revision. I hope these help with any flow issues or continuity errors between later chapters.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you to everyone for taking time to read this story and even more for your extremely kind reviews and messages. This is my first time ever writing anything so any and all comments and constructive critisims are welcome. I'm still getting the lay of the land here in fanfiction but hopefully I along with this story will only get progressively better.

* * *

Chapter 3

Payson Keeler fled down the hallway as fast as she could without attracting attention. Attention was the last thing she needed right now. She passed a bellhop who raised a knowing eyebrow at her attire. She realized it would be clear to anyone that saw her what she had been up to last night, walking down a hotel hallway at seven in the morning in a cocktail dress, carrying last nights shoes was pretty much a dead give away. She ducked her head to avoid meeting his or anyone else's gaze. Coming to the elevator bay, she slammed her finger repeatedly onto the call button until she heard the tell-tale ding of the elevator arriving. Climbing aboard she pressed her forehead against the cool wood paneling. She had to get back to her room and sort this entire mess out.

She slammed her eyelids together tightly, it was all she could do to keep the tears at bay. Last night had been the best night of her life. She didn't think anything could be better than winning gold in the All Around at Worlds but one night spent with Sasha Belov made everything else pale in comparison. The images were a bit hazy, but the emotions were there full force. It was so intense she felt as though they were choking her.

The tears she held at bay weren't for her, they were for Sasha. Along with the emotions currently asailing her, she also couldnt escape the look on his face when she came out of the bathroom that morning. Complete and utter misery. It was all her fault. He would never forgive himself, and it made her feel dirty, like she had somehow tricked him into what happened, even though the evening had started out innocently enough.

* * *

Flasback

"Oh my God Payson that was inspired! Your floor was so good they were stunned into silence." Emily said as she lay sprawled out across one of the beds in the hotel room she shared with Lauren clutching her gold team medal, it was laying atop her bronzes on both uneven bars and floor, which garnered her the All Around bronze.

"Do you guys realize we just literally destroyed the world." Payson said rising onto her elbows from her spot on the adjacent bed. Her three gold medals team, bars and floor surrounding the silver on beam dangling around her neck.

All three girls looked at each other and burst out laughing, laying back down they sobered up to take in the moment.

Lauren broke the silence a moment later, "So I saw Damon in the stands. Is he coming to this little shindig tonight?"

"How am I supposed to pull that off when neither the NGO nor Sasha allows dating?" Emily asked skeptically.

"Who says he has to come as your boyfriend, why not have him tag along with Austin and Max. Then we could all hang out as a group." Lauren reasoned.

"Does this have anything to do with you wanting to hang out with Max?"

"No way thats Payson's non boyfriend I dont need the drama, plus there is Carter to consider." Lauren smirked. She had been all over Carter Anderson since they arrived and he looked happy to have her all over him.

"Much to my roommates displeasure." Payson said thinking about Kelly Parker, the roommate from hell who turned out not to be that bad. "Speaking of which I should probably go check on her."

Making her way into the hall she entered her room to find Kelly limping out of the shower.

"Hey I wanted to check up on you see how your ankle was doing."

"It is fine just like it was when they forced me to sit out." Kelly grumbled.

"You got the silver for that vault didn't you?"

"Yes, my second World Championship experience was reduced to one rotation. Just like I always dreamed." Kelly replied sarcastically while putting rollers in her hair.

"One kick ass rotation that helped us win the team gold. We couldn't have done it without you and you know it. Plus take it from someone who has been exactly where you are, only without the medal. It is not the end of the world you are still on the National Team and the World Team and you will go to the Olympics."

Kelly was looking at the wall. "I am not one of your little Rock girls I don't need you to mother me." She limped over to her suitcase and started tumbling through her clothes, "But thanks."

Payson smiled to herself as she grabbed her towel along with a change of clothes, and headed over to the bathroom to shower and to get ready for that evening.

Twenty minutes later she was dressed in a sensible knee length skirt with a silk wrap top. Her hair was pulled back in a fancier version of her trademark bun. She made her way out of the bathroom only to be met with Kelly's disapproving stare.

"Is that what you are wearing?" she asked with obvious disdain.

"That was the plan," Payson deadpanned.

"I was under the impression you were looking for sponsorships now."

"Not actively looking, but accepting them yes"

"Well you cant go to a party full of potential sponsors looking like you just escaped from Amish country." Kelly declared.

"What is wrong with my outfit," Payson asked looking down at her shirt, "It even has cleavage."

"You have no idea what you are doing here, let me see what you have," Kelly said going over to her bag.

"I'm not going to that party looking like a hoochie mama," she said borrowing some of Laurens termoinology for girls who wore dresses shorter than hers.

"Please do I look like Lauren Tanner." Emptying out paysons suitcase she looked up in real horror, "There is nothing here but leos and workout gear, where are you clothes?"

"I brought this for the party. I have an extra shirt but that's all." She said picking up a light blue sweater.

"Put that down now you will not go to a party wearing a sweater." Kelly said her voice laced with disdain.

Stepping back the brunette eyed her critically. "You have more... everything than I do, but I think I have something that might work."

She went back to her own suitcase an produced a white lace dress. Payson eyed it hesitantly. It didn't look overtly scandalous so she picked it up with two fingers.

"It won't bite you Keeler, go try it on!"

Payson went to the bathroom and slipped on the dress. She turned and looked at herself in the mirror only to be struck speechless. It looked like it had been tailor made just for her. It was not revealing as it covered her from her shoulders to right above her knees, but there was something about it. The way it hugged her curves the ones she found in those few months out from training made her feel different. The dress showcased that she had truly taken on a more womanly physique. It wasn't a dress it was THE dress. She walked back out into the room with Kelly.

She watched as Kelly's smile grew, "Well Keeler, you can keep the dress. I'll never be able to where it again after seeing it on you."

"Do I look alright or is it to much?"

"It's perfect," she said grabbing Payson by the shoulders and forcing her down in a chair in front of the vanity. "Now about this hair "

One hour, fifty hot rollers, and copious amounts of makeup later Payson and Kelly were ready. After getting off the elevator they walked down the hallway towards the ballroom where the party was taking place. Before they could enter they saw Lauren and Emily who were standing with Max and Austin just outside the entryway.

"Payson you look amazing, I mean wow." Max stuttered.

"What were you and Kelly playing dress up?" Lauren said with a sour look on her face

"What's the matter Lauren, threatened?" Kelly snapped back.

Lauren rolled her eyes. "As if. Are we going to stand out here all night, or are we actually going to this party?"

A waiter passed by them headed into the ballroom when Lauren flagged him down. She took the glasses off the tray and handed one to each of them. "Before we go, drink up ladies."

Payson was eyeing the glass skeptically when Emily nudged her. "You know it is actually legal here."

"You only live once." Kelly chimed in

Austin stepped to the center and raised his glass, "To the World Champions, even those who couldnt be here with us right now." Everyone paused to remember Kaylie who was still confined to the clinic, "Congratulations ladies, you earned it."

Payson took a deep breath and turned up her glass. It had a very pleasant taste, and the bubbles tickled her nose, making her smile. She was still smiling when they entered the ballroom. Looking around the room she saw so many people and quite a few of them were smiling her way. This was her moment. She had worked for it, fought, cried and bled for this moment. As she looked across the room her eyes locked with Sasha Belov. He started making his way towards them and she felt her heart sped up in her chest. The man really knew how to wear a suit, every man in the room could take a lesson from him. She smiled as he made his way to stand in front of them, and congratulated them all including Kelly. She tried to keep the blush out of her cheeks as he complimented them, and she found herself drowning in his eyes as she listened to the others snipe around her. He bid them good evening, and it gave her a moment to clear her head as he walked away.

She thought she had dealt with all of these feelings for him. They had been working so well together, no tension or awkwardness whatsoever. Maybe it was the party atmosphere. She was still staring at his back when she felt someone touch her arm. It had begun the endeless rounds of niceties. She spent the next two hours letting M.J drag her around to charm potential sponsors and shchmooze N.G.O. big wigs. Her feet were tired and her face hurt from smiling. She saw Sasha still at the bar. He hadn't spoken to her since the beginning of the evening, but every once in awhile they would look up, lock eyes, and her heart would stop. His gaze was boring into hers and she wanted so badly to know what was going on behind his those blue eyes.

Steeling herself she made her way over to him and sat down. Looking around she noticed everyone had a glass and none of them were drinking champagne. She placed an order for a drink she had heard her mother order a couple of times when they went out to resturants and smiled inwardly at the momentary shock that crossed Sasha's features.

"It's legal here." She tossed out. A sardonic smile was her only answer.

They spent the next few hours talking. Really talking, and the exchange left Payson feeling buoyed, well it was the conversation along with the alcohol. While the champagne left her feeling slightly tingly, the heavier spirit had her feeling pleasantly warm and slightly lethargic. She didn't remember much about how she made it from the ballroom to Sasha's room. She sat up when he handed her something, a cup of coffee, really strong, sugar free coffee. She was almost halfway through when the mental fog began to lift, and she recalled some of her more spirited actions from the evening. All at once she realized that she was in his room sitting on his bed. The bed that he slept in every night. It seemed far too intimate. She leapt up, placing her now empty cup on the night table. She wasn't completely sober, but the world was no longer bathed in a hazy glow.

Sasha was really cool about having to nurse her back from the brink of a drunken bender, joking with her about endorsements but she knew she had over stayed her welcome and needed to get back to her room. Grabbing her shoes she headed for the door. She didn't know what to make of this evening, but she was extremely grateful to Sasha. Turning at the last moment, she didn't realize that he was as close to her as he was, and she found her nose all but in his chest. All she wanted was to thank him, but their proximity was doing things to her brain, causing it to malfunction. All of a sudden that warm tingly feeling was back, and it had nothing to do with alcohol.

The heat was settled low in her abdomen and seemed to be growing exponentially hotter every second she spent looking in his eyes. Those baby blue eyes that sucked her in everytime. She didn't know what possessed her to do it, but it just felt right. A kiss on his cheek to say thank you and goodnight, but she misjudged the distance and ended up grazing the corner of his mouth. It singed her lips and she pulled back to see if he noticed, but he was back to staring at her with that indecernable expression from earlier in the evening. Almost as if magnetized she felt her mouth drawn to his in an attempt to relive the all too brief contact from a moment earlier.

She knew from painful prior experience that this was the part where he would push her away. She decided to take all she could before that happened. She wanted tomemorize the shape and texture of his lips , cement the feel of his hand locked in her curls. Wait. How wasit that she had so much time to consider this? Why hadnt he already disengaged himself from her? Returning to the moment she felt his mouth begin to move against hers, harsh and soft at the same time. She gloried in it, reveled in it's rightness. Everything else was instinct, she wanted to be close to him as possible, and he wasn't pushing her away. He was letting her in and she wanted everything he had to give so she took it. This was a once in a lifetime night, and she was standing at the precipice of a once in a lifetime moment. So for the first time ever Payson Keeler threw the rulebook out of the window and acted with wild abandon on pure emotion. She didn't regret a single moment.

End of Flashback

* * *

Now she would pay for it. She wished she could recall all of the details but all she was getting was pieces. It gave new meaning to the term hot flash. Everytime a scene would play in her minds eye she felt as if she had been thrust back into the room, and back into his arms. As the elevator bell dinged she sucked in a shaky breath and waited for the doors to open. What she didn't expect but probably should have seeing as how today was not going her way, was to be greeted by her roommate. Her roommate who was currently standing stock still and wide eyed with a smirk beginning to pull at the corner of her mouth.

"Well, well, well Keeler. I see someone is doing the walk, or should I say elevator ride of shame this fine morning. Have fun last night?"

* * *

This was just Payson perspective on things. Now that we know how everyone feels, the action recommences next chapter. Please dont forget to review it really does make a difference. Thanks.


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you for taking the time to read my story. I truly appreciate all of the reviews and welcome any constructive critisim orsuggestions you guys might have for me.

* * *

Chapter 4

Payson stood motionless as Kelly joined her in the elevator. It felt like the prior evening's events were plastered across her forehead, and at any moment Kelly would call her out on all of it.

"Lighten up Keeler, I was just joking. I don't think the apocalypse is upon us just yet. Lucky for you Beals didn't do a bed check last night because of the party." Silence was her only answer. Kelly gave Payson a sidelong glance, by all outward appearances she looked like someone who had spent the night somewhere unexpected; mussed hair, smudged makeup, and last nights clothes, but upon closer inspection there was a vacancy behind her eyes and an aura of sadness. She didn't look like a girl who had just had the night of her life.

"I'm actually glad you didn't come back. Now I don't have to explain myself to you," she continued, baiting Payson, and waited for a response. Payson Keeler could always be counted on to have something to say, but the girl stood silent next to her, staring unseeing at the wall.

The elevator chimed again, alerting them to the fact that they had reached their floor. Kelly stepped off and turned to find Payson still slumped against the wall inside the elevator as the doors were closing. Kelly jammed her leg into the door without thinking, forgetting about the injury she had sustained in competition. A sharp pain radiated up her leg. "Son of a bi..." Kelly's pained cry seemed to shake Payson out of her trance. Reaching for the control panel, she pressed the door open button and raced to Kelly's side.

"Are you all right?" she asked sinking down to the floor next to her teammate, while looking at her ankle.

"I'm fine." She replied tightly. Leaning her head back against the wall and massaging her ankle gently.

Payson gave her an appraising glance, finally noticing that she was also sporting last nights attire, complete with an obviously male suit jacket. Sighing she shifted and sat next to Kelly on the carpet, placing her forehead on her knees.

"Long night," the brunette said breaking the silence. Payson wasnt sure if it was a question, or if Kelly was making a blanket statement. Either way the sentiment seemed to apply to them both .

"The longest."

"Well I don't know about you but I'm ready to get out of here." Kelly sighed dramatically.

"I hear that. Let's go."

Payson stood up then reached down to help Kelly. The silence returned as they made their way down the hall to their room. As soon as they entered Payson headed to the shower to wash off the remnants of last night.

Rinsing the conditioner out of her hair, she let her thoughts return to Sasha. He couldn't leave her again, because of something stupid she had done... again. She racked her brain to find some way to fix it. Last night had been so easy, acting without regard for consequences, but this morning the horrified look on his face, the way he had stared at her in anger, before the damning apology. She didn't think she could stomach it if he ever looked at her like that again.

This was different from the kiss on the floor in the gym. Even though that had been preceded by the same impulsivity that started them on their ill-fated course last night. This time it had been more. The first time in the gym was rushed, and he pushed her away before she could really take in the moment. It had happened before she even really decided to let it happen. While the details of last night were still fuzzy, she could all but feel the connection to him still simmering in her night she had felt it, last night was a decision. There was no way she could take it back, and honestly if given the chance she wouldn't.

Sasha had agreed not to leave, but she wouldn't put it past him to change his mind if he thought it was to hard for her. They'd made it past the kiss by talking, somehow she didn't think a heart to heart would be enough to put this behind them. Thinking back on that conversation now. She noticed it didn't really do anything to fix the underlying cause that created their first kiss. They had ignored the most glaring catalyst... their mutual attraction. She was certain now that the attraction was mutual. It was attraction that led to the kiss, and the ignorance of that attraction, that allowed it to go unchecked, and reach a point that led to last night.

They couldn't talk about this. It would never be spoken about again. She would lock it up in a tiny box, put that box inside a thousand other locked boxes, and throw it in the ocean. In her heart she knew avoidance would not hold up in the long run, but it was her best option. If they acted as though nothing happened, then nothing happened. She had a passing thought about a tree falling in the forest, and no one being there to hear it meaning it never happened. Perhaps if they went on with their lives as though his tree hadn't fallen in her woods, they could pretend that nothing actually happened. Gymnastics it had always been their common ground, and it would remain. If they could both just focus on the gymnastics, the rest of this mess would sort itself out. It was a shakey plan at best but it would have to suffice until they could find a better way to move past it. They would be all gymnastics all the time.

Feeling a bit better, and determined to act normal she finished her shower and got dressed. Grabbing her toiletry bag, she exited to find Kelly dressed and packed.

"Took you long enough Keeler. What were you in there contemplating world peace?"

"No, just reworking my beam routine, and contemplating adding an extra twist to my vault. The extra twist that will turn that silver of yours into a bronze, next Worlds."

"Well somebody found their cajones in the bathroom. Welcome back, sad, zombie Payson was a real bore." Kelly said with an eye roll.

"Come on before we miss the plane." Payson returned with her own eye roll.

"Lead the way, Cap." Kelly said heading for the door. She spun around quickly, "Oh if you think for one minute, I have forgotten about your little nighttime adventure Keeler, you are sorely mistaken."

* * *

Sasha felt her presence before he saw her. He watched as they entered the lobby a few minutes behind the other girls. They went over to greet Lauren and Emily, who both were wearing sunglasses andspeaking quietly, while Lauren was massaging her temples slowly. She never looked up, so she didnt see him tracking her movements across the lobby with pensive expression. He was drawn out of his reflective state by Marty handing him the roster.

"What the hell happened to you last night?" Lauren questioned Payson. She was saved from having to answer by Marty loudly clapping his hands behind them to call for everyones attention.

"Okay it looks like everyone is here. Ready to do roll call Belov?"

Just like that time froze, and her resolve shattered. Her palms were sweating and she felt her face grow hot. How was she going to make it through, when the mere mention of his name caused such a reaction? If she thought hearing his name was bad, hearing to his voice was ten times worse.

Her back was ramrod straight, and she had to remind herself to breathe as he rattled off the list of names; the men first, followed by the women. There was a pause and then, "Keeler," What the hell was that! He had called everyone elses entire name, and even in private he never addressed her solely by her surname. She felt Lauren nudge her, apparently she had taken to long respond.

"Here." She croaked out.

"Alright, said Marty clapping his hands loudly much to the displeasure of quite a few people on the team, if their winces were anything to go by, "Lets get this show on the road."

They loaded the shuttle bus headed for the airport. Sasha noted the ride was quiet, as most of the US National Team seemed to be nursing a collective hangover. He placed his headphones in his ears, but didn't turn on any music. He just wanted to think with no interruptions. It allowed him to catch pieces of the hushed conversations that floated around him.

The guy sitting across the aisle was on the phone discussing an epic party from last night. Lauren was asking Emily about a friend of Damon's, who was at this same party. He listened while planning subtle ways to punish them later. It wasnt until the injured boy, Max something or other, leaned forward to Payson and tapped her shoulder that he actually tried to hear what was being said. He watched the boy smile the same toothy grin from the night before, "You were missed last night Pay. Did a better offer come along?"

"Missed where?" She asked. "I was in that ballroom longer than any of you."

"No, not the NGO party, but the after party in the penthouse, hosted by Austin and yours truly."

Ah, so that was the "epic" party everyone on the bus seemed to have attended.

"I wasn't invited apparently, seeing as how this is my first time hearing about it."

"What do you mean, I sent Lauren to get you, Emily, and Damon." he protested.

"Well the message never reached me." She grumbled.

"Because no one could find you Keeler, you must have gone to bed..." Kelly interjected slyly.

He watched Payson flinch and Kelly smirk. It hadn't occurred to him at first but Kelly would be well aware of Payson's absence from their shared room last night. That could be a big problem as Kelly Parker was more manipulative than Lauren Tanner could ever hope to become. If she had something to hold over Payson, his thoughts trailed off. The Max boy oblivious, to the subtle interplay between the two girls carried on,"I tried to call you but..."

"I had your purse, with your phone and key, remember?" Kelly chimed in before he could finish, "So I guess you never caught up to our girl Payson last night. That is sad I'm sure her night would have been so much more, interesting if you two had managed to... hook up." Kelly was staring at Payson with wide innocent eyes.

"My night was plenty interesting ,thank you very much." Payson said tightly.

"Oh really...," Kelly's eyes lit up, "Care to sha-"

"What about you Kelly? Did you have fun at the party?" Payson deflected.

"Wait, I didn't see you at the party either." Max said shifting his attention to Kelly.

"Really?" Payson said turning to Kelly who was shifting in her seat. "So how was your night, Kelly, interesting?"

"It was fine." she ground out. It was Payson's turn to smirk.

That's my girl he thought, admiring the fire that she possessed. There should never have been any doubt in his mind that Payson Keeler could hold her own with Kelly Parker. He stopped listening as their conversation turned to Max explaining in detail how great the party was last night.

He leaned his head back, and closed his eyes in an attempt to get some rest. He realized after she left that they would need to have a serious conversation and soon. This could not be allowed to linger between them if they had any hopes of continuing to work together. It would be a hard conversation, but a nessacery one. He resolved to seek her out as soon as an opprotunity presented itself.

* * *

They arrived at the airport before he knew it, and checked their bags. They had about a twenty-five minute wait before boarding when he heard Payson excuse herself from her friends to get a cup of coffee. Trying not to look to obvious, he waited a few minutes and the joined her in the long line at the cart. He guessed from the tense set of her shoulders, and the fact that she didn't appear to be breathing anymore, she knew just who was standing behind her.

He felt his heart-break just a little more. Who was he kidding, nothing he could say would fix this. There wasnt a pep talk in his repertoire, and it was extensive, that could smooth over something of this magnitude. Even knowing that he still had to try.

"Payson," His voice came out more strangled and wimpy than he would have liked, but her sharp intake of breath let him know that she had heard him.

He waited for her to answer, but she maintained her silence and she kept her back to him. So he tried again, louder this time. "Payson,"

"So you do remember my name?"

There was a myriad of ways he could take that, but he knew she was referencing roll call from earlier. When he had gotten ready to say her name, his mind had flashed back to their night together. He'd spent a good portion of it whispering her name in awed reverence, or moaning it with intense pleasure. With those thoughts floating around in his mind, he hadn't trusted himself to say her name out loud in a room full of witnesses.

"Payson, please,"

"I'm sorry that was uncalled for," she said turning to face him. The quick spin caused her scent to hit him full force. It was like she hit play on their sex tape, and it reminded him of why smell was the sense most closely associated with memory. By sheer force of will he halted that train of thought. He had something discuss with her, and limited time in which to do it. He opened his mouth having no idea what was about to come out but she put up her hand to silence him.

"Nothing happened," she began. "There is nothing to discuss because nothing happened."

"Payson we can't pretend..."

"Yes we can, we will. There is nothing to discuss, nothing to apologize for, nothing for you to leave about, because nothing happened. The only thing that we need to concern ourselves with is the Olympics and getting there, together. Nothing else matters." She was staring at him imploringly. He knew in his heart that this was not the way to go, but he also knew how Payson was once she got an idea into her head. The girl was more stubborn than an old mule, and he spent summers on a farm in Romania with his grandparents, so he knew a bit about mules.

He expected accusations and tears, but he should have known she wouldn't follow the rules. He thought her composure from that morning was a fluke, and that once she had time to process she would hate him. He studied her intently for a moment, but her eyes and stance were unwavering.

"As you wish." He finally acquiesced, he really needed to work on telling this girl no.

He watched as relief flooded her features. It wasn't the reaction or conversation that he had expected and her calm demeanor was throwing him off kilter.

"Good because I would like to rework my entire beam routine."

"Your beam won a silver." He said responding instinctively, confused by her train of thought.

"Only because the Chinese and the Russians fell. If they had done clean routines I would have finished off the podium and we both know it."

"That is something we can discuss when we return." He replied distractedly.

She nodded her head decisively and turned to order her beverage. He was still processing their interaction when she walked away.

They boarded the plane a few minutes later and he cursed the person who made the travel arrangements. He was seated two rows behind her, and once again subjected to listening to her personal conversation. He knew he should have tuned her out, but he realized that he must possess a hidden masochistic streak. He found himself leaning in to hear better as Kelly started to whisper.

"So I've been thinking. As far as your mystery man goes, it's not a gymnast. Everyone we came here with seemed to be at that impromptu little party last night, and you were missing. So I have decided it must have been a local guy, someone tall, dark, and handsome with a sexy little accent..."

"Just stop talking."

"Payson, if you can't talk about it you shouldn't be doing it." Kelly joked with mock seriousness

"Maybe people who are doing it, shouldn't be talking about it so much."

Kelly tapped her arm, "Seriously Keeler are you ok? I mean I know we haven't always been friends," Payson looked at her, "O.K we have never been friends, persay, but I have always respected you, and anyone who doesn't give you the respect you deserve, well they will have to deal with me."

Sasha strained to hear the answer seeking validation that she had already given but hadn't fully accepted yet. Was she ok?

"I'm fine...I'll be fine." She whispered firmly.

There was a pause.

"Since when have you been my friend?"

There was a longer pause this time before Kelly answered.

"When I fell at Worlds I thought it was over. I wanted to just lay there and die, literally die. I mean I was supposed to repeat. I kept thinking what am I without my title but it was you, Keeler that got me through. Everyone else was all false sympathy, and empty words, but you just sat down next to me and held my hand, no fake words, no pity, just solidarity. So if you need something I guess I owe you one, and just let me know if that one involves going back to Rio and beating up some random Brazilian heart-throb.

Payson gave a short laugh "No thanks, it was just one night, one crazy night that we will never speak of again."

"Before we never speak of it again was it at least a good night?" She asked in a conspiratal whisper

There was a sigh and then, "It was the best night of my life."

He heard Kelly murmur, "Well score one for alcohol and poor judgement. I'm oddly proud of you."

"Shut up and go to sleep Kelly."

"You got it Cap. Wake me up when we get stateside." She said yawning and turning towards the window.

He sat back heavily in his seat trying not to dwell to hard on her statement. "The best night of her life." She was mistaken. He was sure that given time she would realize just how big that mistake was, until then he would keep his distance. He couldn't trust himself with her anymore. He had corrupted, her tainted her with his baseness. One day she would see the truth, and on that day she would hate him. The thought caused him physical pain, and he swallowed harshly around the lump that had formed in his throat. Closing his eyes, he tried to shut out the gravity of that truth, and find solace in sleep but it would not come.


	5. Chapter 5

"Payson tilt your head a little to the right. Good. Perfect. You are gorgeous." The photographer called out as he took multiple shots in quick succession.

It had been like this non-stop ever since she returned from Rio the team arrived in New York for the start of the interview tour. She was met by M.J. who presented her with a very lucrative sponsorship package. The tour lasted roughly a week including many stops on the early morning news show and latenight talk show circuit. She spent the time between shows shooting campagins. The girls who didnt have any sponsorship commitments had left about a week ago headed back to their respective clubs. M.J. wanting to make the best of this opportunity had kept her in New York for an additional week and a half to shoot print ads and commercials for various sponsors. She hadn't had a moment to herself except to sleep and she was equal parts tired and grateful for that fact. Kelly was proving herself to be an asset in this department, she was a natural in front of the cameras and while their sponsorship commitments varied greatly their paths did cross at a couple team events. The press loved their newfound camaraderie and Payson was happy that it wasn't all for show. There was no mention of their last night in Rio.

Being on the road had been the best distraction she could ask for, it gave her time to clear her mind, recenter herself, and it was surprisingly fun. She had never been the type of girl to enjoy playing dress up in front of the camera but with Kelly's snarky commentary and outlandish antics she had found herself having fun when she least expected it. Their duo happened accidentally but naturally and she had been sad to see her go yesterday.

"I think that's a wrap." The photographer said drawing Payson back into the present.

She stood from her position on the floor and headed back to her dressing room to look for M.J. She found her sitting on the couch right outside her door she was laughing and speaking in low tones on the phone. As she drew closer she caught a name ...Sasha. Her sharp intake of breath must have alerted M.J. to her presence because she looked up and smiled brightly, "Take care Belov, I'll see you later."

Shutting off her phone she turned her full attention to Payson. "All done girlie."

"Yeah," she replied after mentally shaking herself.

"Well get dressed and I'll go see about the shots. We will head to the airport straight after." M.J. said as she stood to head down the hall.

She tried to stop the words but before she could catch them they already hanging awkwardly in the air, "Did he ask about me?"

M.J. raised a perfectly arched eyebrow "Ask about you?" Then understanding dawned in her eyes "You want to know if he's upset about all the time out of the gym. No worries you will be happy to know he told us to take all the time we need this week." She leaned closer and lowered her voice, "You didn't hear it from me but Coach Belov is a big softie all bark and no bite."

"Yeah of course." she replied absently. That sounded nothing like Sasha Belov, hater of all training interruptions and giver of punishments galore.

"Well go on get dressed I'll meet you at the car."

The ride to the airport and the subsequent plane ride was uneventful. She met her mother at the baggage claim and spent the trip from Denver to Boulder discussing every detail of the trip. She hadn't realized how tired she was until she stepped into her bedroom sat down on her bed and ended up sleeping through dinner. She woke up to find the room shrouded in darkness laying in her bed she stared at the ceiling it felt weird being back home after everything. When she left this room almost three weeks ago she had been untested and unproven as an artistic gymnast but tonight she had returned a World Champion. So much had changed since then.

She walked over to her suitcase and began unpacking, her medals were last, as she hung them on the case that housed her other trophies she took a moment to study them a testament to her comeback. Her eyes scanned the medals and then fell on one that hung in the center in a place of prominence. It was gold with a red ribbon; the most precious of all the awards that hung on the shelf and it wasn't even hers. It was an Olympic medal, Sasha's Olympic medal. Staring at it each morning had given her permission to believe in herself and her dream. That faith, his faith was the driving force that led to the comeback. She walked over and fingered the medal that signified his absolute belief in her. It was tangible proof that he did care, they were special, and filled her with warmth. Looking at the medal now she felt a glimmer of the same emotion she had felt when he gave it to her. That feeling of rightness and that everything would be ok. They would survive this because they could survive anything, they already had and they had done it together. She climbed back in the bed feeling better about going to the gym in the morning. Everything was going to be alright.

She was wrong. When she arrived at five a.m. the following day the gym had still been locked, which was unusual because Sasha knew she got there at the same time every morning. Secondly, it was Mandy one of the assistant coaches who came by at five- thirty to let her in, and now she had been at the gym for five hours and it was almost time for lunch and Sasha hadn't looked her way once. There was no greeting when he deigned to show up at eight -thirty, no instructions for her when he joined them on the floor, and then he called every elite level girl except her over to the bars while she was sent to work on the beam. She had mostly been left to her own devices only working with Mandy on beam or an assistant coach as a spotter on the other apparatuses.

"Payson point your toe. Extend your arms fully. Finish the rotation." She was making stupid amateurish mistakes but she was distracted. These new moves were very different all of the focus was on lines and transitions. It was almost like the actual skills were just placeholders between the artistic elements. It would have taken all of her concentration on a good day and today was definitely not a good day. Even on the tape she couldn't seem to get her body to cooperate. It didn't help that he was in her line of sight constantly either. Everytime she moved her eyes from the beam or Mandy she found herself looking at the back or the side of his stupid blond head, as he actually coached the other girls, but for all the times she caught herself looking at him he was never once looking back. Having had enough she stepped down off the low beam and stalked over to the vault.

"Yes," he stated not even looking up from the clipboard.

"I was wondering if you could observe my beam when you finish here?"

"Is it finished?"

"What?"

"You said you were re-designing your routine. Is it done?"

"Nn-o." she stuttered

"Then what would I be observing." He looked up at the vault not sparing her a glance.

"Good Lauren, but you need more height if we are going to make it a triple. "

"A triple! Are you serious that would make my vault d.o.d the highest in this gym."

"The country." He stated matter of factly as Lauren beamed excitedly. "You can do it. Head to the annex do some upperbody conditioning you will need to generate more power off the springboard.I'll be there shortly."

"Emily you're up. Was the something else that you needed, Payson?"

"N...no." She said suddenly unsure of the situation

"Then you should head back over to Mandy and finish your beam." He said turning away.

She mulled over his actions as she climbed back on the training beam. He hadn't't been rude per se but he was cold. Their interaction lacked his usual warmth and familiarity. He was short and clinical. She made her way back to the beam and proceeded to go through the motions. She didn't see or speak to him for the rest of the day. He was either in the annex working with the other girls or holed up in his office. The rest of the week followed a similar pattern she came early every morning and was greeted by Mandy not Sasha, she was lucky if she even caught a glimpse of him before he barricaded himself in the office. She thought about asking her mother but that would just lead to more questions and an even more awkward situation if her mother decided to meddle.

The following week he moved her and Mandy out to the annex more than they were in the actual gym. While her new routine was coming along fine she found her anger growing with every passing day that he refused to acknowledge her presence. It had gotten so bad that Emily and Lauren asked her what happened. She told them she was working with Mandy by choice but their skeptical looks let her know they weren't buying it.

Tension was building and not the good kind. It had been three weeks and the closest thing to acknowledgement she had gotten from him was a head nod and an insincere, 'coming along nicely,' after she showed him some of new elements from her beam. He handed Mandy a sheet with corrections and things to work on, then walked away.

One week later she had been working late in the gym when she turned and found him standing in the doorway of his office observing her. She froze in place. Surprisingly he didn't immediately turn away but held the eye contact, his eyes were indiscernible. It may have been silent but it was still the most communication that they'd had since she'd been back. Her heartrate sped up and she felt herself begin to blush all over as if his gaze was pulling the heat to the surface along with repressed memories and emotions. Making up her mind that it was now or never she hopped off the beam just as she'd reached the steps Becca pushed open the doors to let her know it was time to go, when she looked back to towards the office the door was closed. Grabbing her bag from the mat she stomped out of the gym being sure to slam the door behind her.

By the time Sunday arrived she slamming doors wherever she went and stomping through her own house. He hadn't even bothered to show up for practice yesterday leaving Jake in charge. This game they were playing had to stop. Throwing on a pair of jeans, a purple sweater and purple flats, she drove herself to the closed gym. She would talk to Sasha and sort this mess out. She pulled up in front of his trailer and saw that his truck wasn't there so turned off the car and took a moment to get her thoughts together. Steeling herself she got out and headed over to the trailer.

"Payson, what are you doing here?" She was not expecting the chipper voice that called out from the gym behind her. Mandy. The assistant coach was nice enough but she was not the person she wanted to see right now.

"Waiting for Sasha."

"Sasha," she said confusedly, "I thought he would have told you girls."

"Told us what? "

"Why don't you come inside, It's freezing out here."

Payson reluctantly followed the woman inside. As they headed upstairs to the office, she repeated her question from earlier. "Told us what?"

"Hmm, oh yeah Sasha. He's on vacation for Thanksgiving, said he had some days he needed to take, so he was going fishing or camping something outdoorsy."

Vacation? Thanksgiving? Sasha? Did he even know the meaning of the word,vacation, not to mention he was British so he couldn't care less about Thanksgiving.

"Um, he left contact information in case of an emergency," she said looking through the papers on the desk and then holding one up hesitantly, "but he said he didnt want to be bothered unless it was an absolute emergency."

"It's about my back." she rushed out quickly.

"Payson," she said alarm ringing clear in her voice, "Do you need me to call your mom or a doctor."

"No, I just need to know if a move is safe for my back." There was no need to let that issue get blown out of proportion. "You know what I'll just wait to try it until he gets you open the annex? I wanted to work on some things in the pit."

"Sure we'll play it safe today." She did not want to be responsible for causing an injury to the world champion, "Technique and precision only."

"Thanks Mandy." She almost felt bad for what she was about to do, but she was on a mission to see Sasha Belov today. As soon as Mandy left the office Payson picked up the piece of paper she'd placed on the desk and copied down the information. At least it was in Colorado she could drive there and give Sasha Belov a piece of her mind.

Running down the stairs she told Mandy she changed her mind and she would just wait for Sasha. Dashing out the door she input the address into the G.P.S. Ninety minutes later she was ready to throw the condesending contraption out of the window. It was harder to find than she anticipated but two u-turns later and she was there, wherever there might be. She pulled up beside a red pick up truck and killed her engine. It appeared to be some kind of lodge, in the middle of the damn forest. She had just made up her mind to go inside and ask for his room number when she saw him come out wearing a hat and carrying a rifle.

He stopped short when he saw her and rolled his eyes heavenward cursing whatever deity he had pissed off and apparently now had it in for him. He was sure it wasn't a happy accident that she was here.

His first thought had been to ignore her but that obviously wasn't working. Ignoring her had sent him running into the woods looking for absolution. Ignoring her had landed her literally right in front of him all but alone in the woods. Ignoring her had him scanning his surroundings to see if he could make a quick getaway but her eyes were locked on him as she got out of the car and headed straight towards him determination evident in her every stride. He grimaced at the ridiculousness of running from his seventeen year old gymnast, 'Whom you bedded' his mind reminded him.

She stopped about two feet away from him and just stood there taking him in, there was anger and frustration simmering behind her eyes. Furrowing her brow she opened her mouth to say something and he braced himself, "Why do you have a gun?"

That was the last thing he expected her to say he glanced down at his hand, "It's America you give everyone guns." It was true part of his package at this lodge included fishing and hunting. He had planned to leave the gun locked in his cabin as soon as the man gave it to him.

He turned and headed down the path closest to the building without a word. He was torn between wanting her to follow and hoping she would get back in her car and leave him in his solitude. It wasn't long before he heard her clomping behind him in the woods with muffled curses. He spared a glance back and down at her footwear ballet flats at the rate they were going she was likely to fall and break her ankle on the uneven terrain. As they approached his cabin he went inside and slammed the door behind him. Let her take that how she wanted. Rummaging around in his bag he found what he was looking for and headed back outside. She was just starting up the steps when he opened the door.

"Sit down." He barked out.

She plopped down on the top step before she realized it. He climbed down the steps and kneeled before her grabbing her ankle he took off her shoe and placed her foot down in her oversized boot lacing it up tightly as he muttered about something about broken ankles women and fish under his breath. She studied the top of his head with a faint smile as he followed suit with the other foot. He was always taking care of her, even when he obviously didn't want her anywhere near him. The gesture softened her anger towards him somewhat. He stood quickly and thrust a large jacket in her direction and then started back down the path. She took that as her que to follow him. The boots were way to big but they were warm.

"So what are we doing?" she yelled at his back.

"We are going hunting." He called over his shoulder.

"Do I get a gun?"

"I'm not giving you a gun." He scoffed.

"That hardly seems fair." She shot back

"You'll live."

"What is your problem?"

"I don't have a problem."

They walked on deeper into the woods in silence.

"Are we really going hunting? Have you ever been hunting before?"

"Be quiet." he growled.

"I don't do what you say."

"I'm your coach by definition you do what I say." He spun around quickly on his heel,nearly knocking her off balance because she was following so close behind him. "Why are you here Payson?" he asked the exasperation clear in his voice.

"Same reason you are to hunt and fish."

"Try again." he was dead serious.

This was it the moment she came here for, "You haven't talked to me in a month Sasha! All I get is vague responses and head nods from you. I have been with Mandy everyday since I got back you coach everyone but me. I came her to tell you I need more and if that is all you can give me then..."

"Then what hmm I should go, you dismiss me, you dont need me anymore. Sorry darling but it's not your call!" Disdain dripping from his every word. He could feel the anger rising in his gut and he could do nothing to stem the tide. She had followed him here, she initiated this, and before they were done today she was damn well going to hear what was on his mind.

"That is not what I was going to say. I need mor..." she started but he wasn't done.

"What do you need from me? You asked me to forget it to leave you alone. I have done that, you wanted to redesign your beam. I have given you a beam specialist. You said it needs to be all about the gymnastics, has it not been!" His voice was starting to take on a hysterical edge. "Can you not see ALL that I have given you my self-respect, my pride, my honor," he stepped closer ignoring the effect of her scent and the tingles running up and down his spine that came from their close proximity.

"I thought we agreed nothing happened. So why does anything have to be different. I dont understand."

"You got that much right you don't understand. What we have done Payson... Everything is different and we have made it that way! Our actions are irreversible so dont stand there with your princess hopes and your fairytale dreams asking me why things can't be the same. They can't!" he roared turning away. He didn't want to yell at her when most of his anger was still directed at himself but she was standing there looking up at him with those big beautiful eyes telling him nothing was different when his whole world had been turned upside down. He inhaled deeply and lowered his voice, "Before, everything they were saying was rumors and lies, but in one night we have given them power over us. Now everything that they say is true. I can't touch you without feeling dirty. I can't look at you without seeing my own weakness..." He jammed his fingers through his hair and shut his eyes. His heart softened as he looked and saw the tears gathering in her eyes as she bowed her head to hide them. "But, we can work through it." She glanced up sharply at his admission. "It will take time and it will be hard but Payson I promise you I will fix this and I promise I will get you to the Olympics. It won't be over night and we can't fix it by pretending it didn't happen but we can give it time and we can get through it."

"I can accept that, but you can't just shut me out in the gym. The whole reason this is even such a big issue is that you are my coach, so I need you to be my coach. When we are in that gym I need the old Sasha back."

He placed his finger under her chin and stared into her eyes,"I can promise to try."


	6. Chapter 6

It was five thirty and they were the only two people in the gym. She thought she had hidden her surprise at him cutting his trip short well when she saw him waiting for her outside of the building this morning. He let her in and then preceded up the stairs to his office while she began stretching. This was how things were supposed to be. She could feel some of the tension ebb away as they fell so easily back into to their pre-worlds routine. She rose from the mat as he came down the stairs. When he reached her he held out a bottle.

"What is this?" Payson asked glancing between the bottle of water in Sasha's hand and the flimsy paper cup in her own. He was standing next to her holding the bottle out looking straight ahead. At her question a hint of blush colored his cheeks.

"Umm...it's water," he said his voice rising at the end in a way that made her wonder if it was a question or a statement.

"Thanks,"she said her voice also high and unsure.

"So are you ready to work?" his voice taking on a more certain tone.

"You bet."

She mounted the beam and launched into her routine start to finish, then looked to him expectantly. He stood silently with his fingers resting over his lips a pensive gaze on his face.

"It is a beautiful routine that you and Amanda have created. There is strength, power, elegance, and grace and you perform it well but... it's missing something. Again."

They ran through the routine from at least ten more times before he called for a break before the vault. She grabbed her cup and was about to head for the water cooler when she saw the bottle Sasha had given her earlier next to her bag. She picked it up and gave a cursory glance to the label as she took a sip. She nearly spat the water across the room. The label read Wetumpka Lodge.

Flashback

"I promise I will try."

"Thank you." she said trying to staunch the wave of desire that spread through her at his touch. Stepping back she squared her shoulders, "I realize that things cant be the same but I was thinking on the way here that the dont have to, change isn't always bad. You and I have always been different, more like partners," she cringed and saw him wince that was the wrong word. She paused searching for the right word trying not to bungle it more than she already had, "Colleauges," yes that was a good choice. "Colleauges working towards a common goal and that hasnt changed so maybe if we let that be our yardstick. The way we look at these new developments and how we relate to one another. Colleauges instead subordinate and superior."

He stood there looking at her for a moment slack jawed at her reasoning. He had forgotten during his self flaggellation just how mature this girl... no this young woman was, he felt slightly ashamed at his childish behavior. What she was proposing wasnt even that radical it was the way they had been operating since she returned to train after her surgery. She was simply asking him to acknowledge it, embrace it. Would it be that hard? He no longer saw he as a child anyway. How hard would it be to put her into another category? Colleauge she said like Jake and Amanda his assistant coaches. Maybe it would help ease the guilt he felt in relation to misusing his power taking advantage of his position. He would need time to think forthe time being he told her, "We can try."

"Come on I'll walk you back to you vehicle."

"I though we were going hunting and fishing?" She offered a sly smile playing at her lips.

"I don't hunt." he laughed.

"Didn't think so,"

"But I do fish." He said glancing up at her. This was a bad idea. He should just send her on her way and return to his solitude, but another part of him thought this might be a good opprotunity to practice being in close quarters with her. A way to check what his responses might be, only if she was willing to do the same.

"I am open to new experiences."

"Well, come on then."

They walked back towards his cabin and she waited as he exchanged his gun for two fishing poles and a cooler. Walking in a companionable silence they made their way to the pier and rented a boat. Once they were out on the water he mounted the poles on the side of the boat and took his place on the bench opposite of hers. They stared at each other it was like an invisible line had been drawn down the center of the boat with them on opposite sides, but neither of them could look away. Payson wracked her brain for something to say a neutral topic to fill the stillness.

"Do you come here often?"

"Not nearly enough."

"It's nice."

"Is that so?" he said noncommitaly.

"Peaceful."

"Hmm.."

"It feels like you could just forget everything out here. It's so quiet. "

"Not anymore." He smiled.

Ok she could take a hint. Leaning back against the side of the boat she let out a long sigh. About fifteen minutes passed before she spoke again.

"So what do we do now?"

"We wait."

"For.."

"We wait, quietly, for the fish to come."

"Oh," she said with an air of disappointment.

He let out a long suffering sigh "What does this not meet with your expectations?"

"I just thought there would be more, that we would do more."

"Such as..."

"I thought I would at least get to hold your pole." His cocked an eyebrows at her phrasing causing her to blush and stammer out a clarification, "The fishing pole."

"Right. Feel free." He said fighting the heat he felt rising in his own cheeks.

Shifting on the bench she leaned forward and grabbed the pole."Now what do I do?"

"Nothing you just hold it still."

"Don't I need to move it around?" He reached forward and grabbed her wrist to stop he movements. The contact burned and he realized it was the first time he had touched her since that night. Warmth was spreading up his arm from the place where his hand lay on top of hers.

Clearing his throat and shaking off the feeling, he said, "No, we are on a small lake just let the fish come to you."

She stilled her movements and leaned forward towards the edge of the boat in anticipation of catching something. He reached over to the cooler, opened it, and grabbed a beer without thinking. It wasn't until he heard a muffled cough that he looked upand saw Payson watching him with a small smile playing at her lips that he realized maybe adding alcohol to the mix wasnt such a good idea. He sat the beer down quickly.

"I've always wondered, what would you have done if we drank those beers you gave us that Sunday? And how the hell did you know we went to that party?" That last question had been plauging her and the others since that day. Many therioes had been proposed from him actually being at the kegger to clairvoyace.

His smile took on a mischeivious edge. "Now why would I go and reveal all of my secrets to you Payson Keeler?''

"Your secrets are safe with me."

"I'm sure they are." He looked her in the eye meaningfully.

"I trusted your awe of me and guilt at being caught to prevent any of you from actually drinking it."

"And the party?"

He gave her a measuring look."You're not the only ones who go to the Spruce Juice."

"Damn. I had money on you being there. Standing in the shadows giving us a disapproving glare whilst plotting out our punishment."

"Sorry to disappoint." he laughed.

"Good thing this is a secret or else I would be out of twenty bucks."

They both chuckled as the silence settled back in. After half an hour of holding the pole and nothing happening she turned to Sasha. "Do you have anything other than beer in that cooler?"

He reached in and handed her a blue bottle, untwisting the cap she took a long sip. it was crisp cool and refreshing she looked at the label it was plain white and said Wetumpka Lodge on the label.

"This is the best water I have ever tasted."

"It comes from the springs located on the grounds. They are very proud of it."

"As well they should be, it's like water only so much better." He watched as she closed her eyes and took another sip.

"It's bloody expensive is what it is, $3 dollars a bottle." He grumbled.

"So how do we know if we have caught anything?"

"I'm sure we haven't."

"Why?"

"Because catching fish requires patience, silence, and stillness, none of which we have supplied."

"Sorry about that," she replied sheepishly. "I'll just go and you can get back to your vacation." She went to place the rod back in the holder when she felt the tug. "Sasha, Sasha I think I've got something!" Placing his arms around her he grasped the rod guiding her hands showing her how to reel it in. His front was pressed up against her back and together they pulled the fish into the boat. Payson was bouncing on the balls of her feet it was a surprising adenaline rush to actually catch something.

"Ha ha! That fish didn't stand a chance."

Sasha looked up to her face which was flushed with joy and happiness in her accomplishment she was glowing with pride. He felt his heart twist painfully he knew exactly how the fish felt hook, line, and sinker and she wasn't even trying. "Against you Payon Keeler no one stands a chance. "

She looked back down at the _bottle_ of water. It was blue with a white label that read Wetumpka it didn't mean anything, perhaps he had simply liked the water as well. However she couldnt shake the niggling feeling inside of her said that there was an underlying meaning a gesture of some kind hidden in him giving her this particular bottle. She looked around to find Sasha but he was no longer on the floor. She looked back down at the bottle and smiled grabbing her bag and heading towards the vault.


	7. Chapter 7

Thank you for all of the reviews they were the best Christmas presents ever.

CH.7

The water was stupid. He'd purchased three cases on impulse at the front desk simply because she'd said she liked it, and while that was stupid giving it to her had been a stupid idea of epic proportions. He couldn't even figure out why he wanted to give it to her other than the fact that she had enjoyed it so much on their trip. And that, he had to stop thinking of it as their trip it was his getaway trip. The one he'd abandoned about an hour after she'd made her getaway.

The sole purpose of the trip had been to excise her from his mind and that notion dissapated the moment she had shown up and then left him with the ghost of Payson past. He couldn't even wile his time away at the lake partaking of his favorite past time as that too had been tainted by her precense. Her scent lingered on his jacket, everywhere he looked he saw her smile or heard her laugh. This excusion to the woods had proven to be an exersice in futility. No matter how far he ran she always seemed to find him. Now he was holed up in his office castigating himself for giving her a bottle of overpriced water. He glanced down at the unopened cases on the otherside of his desk. What had he been thinking. Luckily she hadn't noticed anything when he handed her the bottle her intense focus working in his favor.

He listened to the smack of feet against the runway and knew that he would have to return to the floor to spot her more difficult vault. Shaking his head he decended the stairs again, he had alot more to worry about today than a misguided bottle of water. He had recieved a call from Marty Walsh last week and the gym would be recieving two male transfers from Denver later that morning now that he was back. He was sure their precense would effect the atmosphere of the gym and not in a good way but his pride wanted to stick it to Marty that he was the better coach, and poaching from his male roster was a sure fire way to do it.

As he approached the vault he observed Payson. With the additional twist she sat down on two out of three ofher attempts leading him to tell her that she like Lauren would need to work on strengthenig her shoulder muscles in order to perfect the trick. All in all it was coming along well it wouldn't be ready for competition for another month at the very least, but that would be plenty of time for their next international meet which was be scheduled in the early part of next year in Greece just a month before the American Cup.

By the time the other gymnasts began to trickle in they'd worked through every apparatus and he'd given her his critiques. It was easy enough even though he hadn't worked with her directly he had kept close tabs on her progress via Mandy.

Lauren smiled brightly at him when she arrived and began warming up. She had really blossomed in the months since Worlds and he was amazed by her progress. She was showing herself to be a true contender, it made him even more wary about the new additions to the roster from Denver. He really didn't need anything to shake her newfound focus.

He watched as Emily who's confidence had grown by leaps and bounds started training a new bars dismount with Jake. She was finally displaying all the promise that everyone has seen in her. Then there was Payson she was waiting in line to work on the floor the event that she now owned. Payson who would go down as one of the all-time greats in the sport. She took a sip of water from her bottle looked down at it and smiled. He felt inordinatly pleased that his small peace offering had made her happy.

It was because he was so busy preening that he didnt notice the new arrivals until he felt a hush fall over the gym and then Laurens voice ran out loud, clear and full of disbelief, "Carter,"

It was followed closely by Payson's not so loud and slightly breathy, "Nicky," he cut his eyes to her and raised an eyebrow at her expression, that was new.

Walking over he greeted the two returning gymnasts with a handshake and started to escort them to the office when the door burst open again and a tiny brunette with a smirk stepped in between the duo holding a Denver elite folder with her name on it.

"Good Morning Coach Belov, I heard the Rock was accepting new gymnasts."

He heard Lauren again, "What the hell is this some sort of hostile takeover?"

Followed by a softer voice that sounded like Emily "You have got to be kidding me." He secretly seconded both sentiments.

Smiling in what he hoped was a warm way he let his gaze travel between her face and the folder she was clutching in her slightly trembling fist. "Ms. Parker what a pleasant surprise." He gestured for her to preceed him up the stairs along with the two young men.

Once they reached the office doors he asked her to wait outside. He gave Carter and Nicky a review of the policies and procedures at the rock with emphasis on the no dating policy. It took about five mins and then he asked them to send Kelly in. He took her folder and placed it on his desk without a second glance.

"Why are you here Kelly?"

''My ankle is better, and I'm ready to train.''

''You are the one of the best gymnasts in the world you could train anywhere. Why are you here?''

''To train with you.''

He narrowed his eyes at her and didn't speak.

She continued ''I meant what I said at Worlds before those girls started training with you I was the best I should have been able to beat Tanner and Kmetko with my eyes closed and a broken ankle.'' She finished with a huff.

''And Payson?'' He asked honestly curious as to how she felt about her one time rival.

''My pacecar. To be the best you have to work with the best. Right now you, Payson Austin...'' She trailed off, ''Right now you are the best, and I'm losing my edge in Denver. Maybe I'm in need of a little inspiration.'' She finished with her eyes downcast.

He could tell that wasn't the entire story but there was an edge of desperation and defeat to her tone that made him think she didnt have any ulterior motives. "I don't play games Kelly and I don't allow underhanded tactics and manipulation here at The Rock. We are all on each others side, we are a team, a single unit, and we work as such. How my girls treat each other is very important to me. We help each other, we protect each other. No one person is more important than the whole I won't allow this gym to become the Kelly Parker show or the Jerry Springer show. I know you haven't always gotten along with the girls nor have they always been fair to you, but after today they will be your girls just as much as you will be theirs. Learn to love it. Are we clear?"

"I got it. Play nice."

"Wrong. Be nice."

"Baby steps, Belov."

He gave her an unimpressed look.

''Coach Belov I mean.''

''Go, dress out and warm up. You can work with Payson today.

"So I can stay."

He raised his eyebrows and gave her an expectant look, he watched as a small smile bloomed across her face and her shoulders sagged with relief she hoisted her bag and headed to the door.

''Oh and Kelly," she glanced back over her shoulder, "Welcome to the Rock

Thank you for taking the time to read my story. Please Review.


	8. Chapter 8

''Was that Kelly Parker I just passed on my way up here?'' He didn't glace up when he heard Summer's voice, he was too busy pouring over Kelly's file. The girl had belonged to over a dozen gyms in the past two years alone.

''It was indeed.''

Summer bristled at his nonchalance. ''And she is training here?''

''She is indeed.'' He replied in the same monotone.

''Do you think that is wise?'' She questioned attempting to draw out a response.

Sasha looked up from the file slighty annoyed at her prodding.''I didn't know we were in the business of turning away talented gymnasts.''

Kim walked at that moment interuppting the mounting tension. She was carrying three coffees and a bag of delicious smelling sugary confections. ''I could have sworn I just saw Kelly Parker, Carter Anderson and Nicky Russo headed out of the locker room.''

''Carter is back,'' Summer hissed in a scandalized tone.

''Well he is the reigning world silver medalist on rings and Nicky Russo is the reigning World All-Around bronze medalist. It's a coup for the gym. As i said we are not in the business of turning away talented gymnasts.''

''But Carter has caused so much heartache for the girls is it really worth it.'' The disapproval was evident in her tone.

''The Rock is a gym not a social club we don't house athletes based on their abilities to give you the warm fuzzies. We are training for the Olympics not a Miss Congeniality pagent.''

''Carter broke the rules he dated Lauren and Kaylie and it nearly destroyed those girls and this gym.'' Summer's tone was exasperated.

''I don't agree with what he did and I will make sure it never happens again, but I don't think it destroyed them it made them stronger better. If we follow your logic neither Kaylie or Lauren should be allowed to train here.''

''That is not what I meant. I just feel like the girls need to be protected.''

''If it makes you feel better he has been made aware that any hint of impropriety and he will be out of here before he knows what hit him.''

This seemed to mollify Summer somewhat.

''And Kelly,'' Kim chimed in, ''In the trouble starting arena I say she has those boys beat hands down.''

''She requested to work with your daughter actually.'' He told Kim a healthy dose of skepticism in his voice.

''Well that can't be good.'' Summer muttered.

''Actually,'' Kim said looking thoughtful ''I think they have put aside their differences for now. Payson calls them friendly she says Kelly isn't that bad once you get to know her.''

''I'm still not sure about this.'' Summer murmured

''Well lucky for you I am.'' Sasha stated definitivly, ''The girls have to learn to compete and succeed under less than ideal circumstances better they be tested here where we are around to help them than out there where failure can have career ending consequences.''

Kim walked over to face the window that looked out over the floor.'' Well I guess it's something that they're all standing together and the gym hasn't been reduced to ashes... yet.''

The group she was refering to was Lauren, Payson, and Kelly all standing or sitting near the floor. Kelly was on the mat stretching while the other girls stood on either side of her Lauren and Kelly even seemed to be speaking to one another. The three adults stood watching the three gymnasts.

"I'm going to ask you one time only Parker, what the hell are you playing at?'' Lauren whispered.

''I'm sure I don't know what you mean.''

''What did you get tired of ruling you loyal minions in the dictatorship you ran in Denver?'' Lauren said lifting her leg up behind her.

''Yes I decided to come depose you and conquer Boulder. Oh wait that would mean you were someone important in this gym but you're not that would be Payson.''

''No, do not involve me in your pissing contest.'' Payson said not looking at either girl.

''We don't have dictators and queen bees here Kelly. We are a team all for one and one for all.''

''Yeah until you decide to sleep with Payson's boyfriend, or is that what all for one and one for all means in your book.''

''Not involved.'' Payson repeated.

''Nicky Russo eww, but I'd be happy to give Carter another go, show him what he's been missing while he was slumming it in Denver.''

''Oh you are more than welcome to them both.'' She nodded her head indicating Carter and Nicky who seemed to be laughing with Max and Austin about something. The girls watched as the four boys seemed to be engaged in a lively converation as they spotted Austin on the rings.

''See why can't we be more like them just training with no headgames and no drama.'' Payson said.

''Thought you weren't involved Keeler.'' Kelly intoned.

''Yeah, Switzerland and all that.'' Lauren said.

''I'm just saying, infighting makes us look weak, and we are better than that.'' She stepped away from the group to take her place on the floor, leaving the two girls alone.

Lauren watched as Carter seemed to be telling Max a very involved and animated story about something like they had been best friends forever. Ugh they had only just met and had absolutly nothing in common. "As if I would ever act like that with you I'd rather eat mat."

''Don't worry Tanner we are in no danger of being friends...ever, and I'm sure the mat eating will come shortly enough. Afterall we know how well you handle the pressure of being demoted and with Keeler, Kmetko and myself here now, you're a solid fourth and once Kaylie gets back you will no longer matter. So if I were you I would enjoy these last few moments of glory, they're fading fast.''

''You and I both know that I will destroy you on the beam.'' Lauren was seething.

''You can have the beam Lauren no one cares. Unlike you I'm All -Around material not just a one hit wonder.''

"Lauren beam.'' Mandy called from across the gym.

Kelly smirked. ''Looks like your only chance to medal is calling I wouldn't want you to miss it.'' With that she turned her back and finished stretching. Lauren narrowed her eyes turned and stomped away.

Kelly stood and observed Payson. It was going to be a long day.

The next morning found Payson shifting nervously from foot to foot as she stood outside the entrance to The Rock holding an insulated cup. She was so deep in thought that she didn't notice Kelly pull up or come to stand beside her until she spoke."Fancy seeing you here this time of morning Keeler."

"Jesus Christ, Kelly wear a bell or something! What are you doing here?"

"To train," she annunciated slowly as if speaking to a child, "Why else would I be standing in a gym parking lot at 4:15 in the morning."

Payson gave her an incredulous look no one ever arrived at the gym this early unless it was closer to a competition and even then five a.m. was the limit.

"What? Did you think you were the only one who got up at the asscrack of dawn to train. I didn't accidently win Nationals and should know."

Payson had to give her that. She respected dedication.

''What is in the cup?'' she leaned closer, "It smells great. I'm a little sad there is only one."

Payson looked down at the cup for what felt like the millionth time that morning. She knew it was a horrible idea. The thought occured to her last night as she sat in Lauren's bedroom with the rest of the elite girls at an impromptu meeting to discuss what had been dubbed 'The Kelly Parker Situation.'

She couldn't get her mind off the bottle of water. She vacilliated between it being just a bottle of water to it being some elaborate coded secret message. Most pathetic of all was that she saved the bottle. It was currently sitting at home on her dresser as she just couldn't bring herself to throw it away. She arrived at the conclusion that it was a gesture, a gesture of friendship, and as such it needed to be reciprocated. That presented another series of problems. What would be an equal and opposite reaction, did she acknowledge his giving her the water, what if she was reading way to much into this, amongst other things. The conclusion led to her standing outside The Rock holding a homemade white chocolate mocha. She knew her mother brought coffee every morning when she arrived with Becca at eight, and she had heard her teasing him about his ''girly" taste in beverages, and his response had been that his day didnt' actually start until he had been properly caffinated.

So now she was standing in the parking lot, next to a nosy Kelly Parker, holding a cup of coffee in her hand and deciding not for the first time, that this was a really bad idea. When the door to the Airstream opened.

"Did the two of you plan this or was it a happy accident?" Sasha grumbled pulling on his jacket and grabbing his keys as he exited the trailer.

"Sorry Coach, Payson and I were just discussing the pros and cons of caffination."

Sasha glanced down at the cup in Payson's hand it was a knee jerk reaction to thrust it in his direction.

"Here I... this is... I brought... this... is... white chocolate and expresso and milk and whipped cream...um coffee for you. Yeah, I made you coffee." She stuttered out finally a furious blush coating her cheeks. She could feel Kelly's penetrating gaze aimed at the side of her head.

Sasha looked down at the poffered cup with his eyebrows scrunched.

"A white chocolate mocha."

"Yeah I made it. My mom went through a phase of liking coffee drinks, and it only lasted like a day and a half but we have all of this stuff now at our house, and we never use it, it just sits there, but you like this stuff and I was up, and in the kitchen this morning making things, and I thought you might like something, the drink, that is because I don't like it, my dad doesn't like it, and Becca won't even try..." She was cut off by Kelly's elbow slamming into her ribs.

"Breathe Keeler, before you pass out from that giant babbling brooke of a run on sentence."

"A white chocolate mocha, my favorite." He said taking the cup from her hands with a wide smile.

"Sorry if it's cold."

"It's perfect thank you, Payson." He said still smiling as he took a sip.

She met his eyes with a brilliant smile of her own

"Hate to interrupt what is shaping up to be a beautiful Hallmark moment, but some of us came here to train. Not suck up to our coaches with homemade beverages." Kelly said walking in between the smiling duo and going to stand impatiently by the front door of the gym.

"Thank you again Payson." Sasha said as he turned and made his way over to open the door for them. He entered first and Kelly waited for Payson to catch up.

"What the hell did I just witness?" Kelly hissed grabbing Payson's arm before she could pass her.

Payson fumbled to form a response. What had kelly witnessed? What did she and Sasha look like to people on the outside? "Nothing I just thought he would need it. His coffee maker is broken and it is really early." She kept her face as expressionless as possible.

Kelly stared at her silently for a few moments as if weighing Payson's response against the feather of truth. Letting go of Payson's arm she rolled her eyes, "Geez Keeler you're already the favorite no need to continue brown nosing." Then she walked off headed to the locker room and Payson let out a deep sigh and trudged slowly behind her.

Before she could push open the swinging door completly that led to the dressing room she felt a tap on her shoulder. Turning she faced Sasha, he was holding out a blue plastic bottle. The silly smile wound its way back onto her face, he returned it with a boyish grin of his own that made her breath catch and her knees weaken. Tearing her eyes away from his she took the bottle and turned to enter the room forgetting that the door closed on it own and felt her nose slam into it.

"Oh my God Payson, are you hurt?" Sasha said placing his hands on the side of her face and leaning in close to examine the damage.

"Only my pride, I'm fine." She laughed trying not to focus on his hands on her face, his callused palms tickling her cheeks. She fought the urge to close her eyes and inhale deeper as his coffee scented breath drifted across the bridge of her nose and fluttered through her hair. This was the closest she had been to him since waking up in his arms. His scent engulfed her, it had a richness and depth to it, with traces of bergamot and undertones of amber, it was doing something strange to the chemicals in her brain. She could feel her body drifting towards his as though magnetized. Every breath brought them closer. It would be simple just close her eyes and then close the distance seperating them. Maybe then she could find out if his lips still tasted as sweet as she remembered. God this man!

"Everything looks fine from here." He replied gruffly stepping away from her and shoving his hands into his pockets.

"Right," she said shaking herself from a Sasha induced stupor. "I'll see you on the floor." She said before successfully navigating her way through the doorway.

"I'll be waiting." He whispered as the doors swung closed.


	9. Chapter 9

ch.9

It had been a really long day. Starting with the fact that Sasha was a sadist. He demonstrated his displeasure with being awoken at four in the morning by making her train with Lauren in the annex all day. He called it team building, she thought of it as more along the lines of torture. At the end of the day she may or may not have accidentaly on purpose caused Lauren to fall into the pit, and she may or may not have walked out and left her to climb out on her own. Whatever she totally deserved it.

What did Sasha think, that one day in the cold annex and she and Lauren would be holding hands and singing Kumbaya. If so, he was not as smart as people had led her to believe, in fact she wasn't even sure if he was sane. No sane person would leave hjer and Lauren unattended for almost ten hours. It was the accent. Anything said with a posh English accent instantly sounded clever to most Americans. What she found intensely funny and by intensely funny she meant not funny at all and completly unfair, was the fact that he was all smiles for Payson. When she walked through the gym to get to her car she saw them standing by the bars heads close together smiling while they pretended to look at his clipboard.

She thought back to the rumors that had run rampant prior to the Worlds trials and as she stood in line waiting for the perky barrista behind the counter to take her order. If she didn't know that Payson had been involved with someone else just after that she might think they were true, not to mention Sasha had been reinstated and all of the parents at the Rock including Payson's mother treated him with nothing but respect. If there had been even an iota of truth he would have been run out of town. Still there was something off there. Perhaps Payson was still harboring a small unrequited crush, that could be funny.

She ordered a tall caramel macchiato, it was a guilty pleasure, and her mouth had been watering ever since that morning. Plus after her day with Lauren she felt she deserved to treat herself. She began to dig around in her purse for the money after hearing her total. Things had changed drastically for Kelly, especially in the money department. It was one of the main reasons that she had come to the Rock in the first place. A few weeks after turning eighteen she had decided to move out of her mother's house and get her own place. She had found a really nice two bedroom town home in the city and she called a real estae agent to make an offer only to find out that she didn't have enough money in her account. She had a little over twenty thousand dollars in an account that should have held close to one million dollars. Further investigations showed that her mother had been robbing her blind since she she turned fourteen and secured her first sponsership.

Two days later she took all the money and put it in a brand new account in her name only, packed everything her car could hold, and headed south for Texas. Marty had been very understanding when she explained why she was leaving. She would miss him but some things were more important, namely her freedom. Then she got a text from Carter Anderson telling her that he was also leaving and headed for Boulder in a weeks time. She didn't really believe in fate but his text got her to thinking, before she could change her mind she turned around and set a course for Boulder.

That had been a week ago, and here she was making her way in Boulder alone. She'd found a little studio apartment and she would be moving in on Saturday, until then Aunt Wanda's Bed and Breakfast would have to suffice. It was a drain on her limited resources but she had high hopes for renewed interest in her after she won the American Cup. Right now though she needed to come up with the seven dollars and fifteen cents that the no longer smiling girl behind the counter was waiting on.

''I'll take the same thing and you can put the lady's on my tab.'' A smooth voice to her right said while handing a bill across the register.

"Sure thing Austin."

"I had it.'' Kelly said, moving to the side to wait for her drink.

''I know.''

They stood there in silence waiting for their order. They hadn't spoken since they spent that night on the roof of the hotel in Rio. Spilling all of their secrets courtesy of a shared bottle of Brandy. They had fallen asleep sharing the same lounge chair and when she woke up the next morning she was asleep, cozy under his jacket. Now the silence felt uncomfortable and she couldn't think of anything to say to change that. The girl walked over and handed her a hot cup with the glorious smell of caramel wafting up from it. She made her way to a small table in the back facing the a window and she shouldn't have been suprised when Austin joined her.

''So how are you enjoying our Rock hospitality.''

She considered not answering but she didn't have anything against Austin, so ignoring him would serve no purpose.''It could use some work actually.''

''Tell me about it when I got here I had to fight for gym space; beams and uneven bars were involved. It is a time i would rather forget.'' He laughed.

''You mean the world didn't just bow down and do your bidding because you were the Olympic champion.''

''I think you will find no one at the Rock bows down to anyone.''

''I am fully is part of the charm.'' She scoffed, sipping from her cup. Silence enveloped them again. It seemed as though with just the aid of coffee that their conversation didn't flow nearly as freely.

''Well, welcome to my coffee shop." He said at last.

''Your coffee shop?"

"Yeah I come here all the time." He leaned in closer as if sharing a secret, "They have the best doughnnuts in Boulder. MaryAnn the owners wife makes them herself."

"I'll keep that in mind when the day comes that I can actually have a doughnut. Speaking of not having food, how's Kaylie?"

"Wow," Austin breathed out and leaned back in his chair, "you really are mean."

"It's a gift...and a curse.''

"Like Dr. Jekyll and ."

She pursed her lips and stared at him.

''Ok I can see I have overstayed my welcome.'' Austin said standing up from the table. "Enjoy your coffee. See you tomorrow.''

Dammit she had done it again. Alienating people. Speaking without thinking. Allowing her snark to protect her in an uncomfortable situation. She caught his arm before he could leave. " I wasn't trying to be mean sometimes things just come out that way. I really want to know how Kaylie is doing."

He eyed her warily for a second, he must have seen something that made her reconsider because he sat back down slowly. "Well, she is doing better. She is back home now, says she is taking a break from everything gymnastics related for a while. It's helping her to heal.''

"So she isn't coming back...ever?" That didn't sound right to Kelly. They wouldn't be able to what they did if they quit whenever things got tough. Greatness was always just on the otherside of the tough times. At least she hoped it was, for her sake.

"Not if she thinks it will derail her recovery." Austin said looking down at his drink.

"So you are just one half of the golden couple now?"

Austin took a deep breath and rocked back on two legs in his chair."Actually, taking a break from everything gymnastics related included me too.''

Kelly opened her mouth to say something when another voice cut across hers.

"You ungrateful little bitch."

They both looked up to see the woman standing behind Austin.

Shit! Kelly thought. When she left Denver she purposely didn't tell anyone except Marty where she was going. She knew she would see her mother again but she had hoped that that day would come later and not sooner. Apparently on this day luck had deserted her. She pulled herself up taller in her chair. She would need her wits about her to make it through this confrontation. Sparing a glance at Austin she wished she didn't have an audience for this, but it couldn't be avoided now.

"Hello, Sheila."

"What do you think you are doing, huh? Sitting in a coffee shop with your little friend eating doughnuts." Her voice was laced with disdain. She threw a circle of fried dough onto the ground and stomped on it, in disgust. ''Two days and you are already destroying everything we have worked for, why do you think you can make it without me?"

"I think it's you who can't make it without me."

''And why is that?"

"You know why." she said her tone quiet but steeped in venom.

"Is that what you think that I owe you something. I made you little girl! Without me you are just another slightly talented brat flipping around in a leotard. Did you really think you were the best, did you think those people wanted you?" She laughed it was a hollow sound meant to belittle and demean. "What did you think that they loved you, or even liked you for that matter, did you think they chose you?" She let her incredulity show through on her face. "Honey they only gave you the time of day because I was there!" She slammed her hand onto the table, her voice wasgetting louder and louder asshe continued. "They only loved you because I told them too! I don't owe you anything and YOU OWE ME EVERYTHING!" She lowered her voice then her chest heaving from her outburst. It didn't matter they already had the attention of every patron in the place. "I have sacraficed my life for you. I made you! And if I have to I will destroy you." The last part was said in a quiet voice, just above a whisper but that just made the threat feel infinitly more ominous.

Kelly sat in her chair unable to form a coherent thought much less say anything. She looked down and realized she was shaking all over. She told herself that Shelia's words were meaningless, crafted only to hurt and manipulate her. Her brain knew that but her heart, her heart didn't get the message, and right now at this moment it was breaking, not even breaking it was shattered. She thought the stealing hurt, but she realized now that it had just made her angry. This... This hurt.

"I think you should leave now before you make an even bigger fool of yourself." A quiet voice hissed.

Kelly looked up, it hadn't been she who had spoken. She watched as Austin stood up he was almost a foot taller than Shelia and the look on his face caused her mother to pause and narrow her eyes even more.

She didn't move her eyes from his but her words were for Kelly. "This isn't over." She turned and left. As Kelly heard tires screeching on concrete she felt the first drop of moisture hit her arm. It seemed like that one drop unleased the flood. She stood up and stumbled from the table to the front door. She was fumbling with the keys and lock on her car door when a hand closed over hers and steadied her trembling fingers. Turning she buried her face in his chest. He silently held her while she cried. She pulled away after a few minutes and wiped her face on the sleeve of her jacket.

"I'm fine."

"You're a mess and rightly so."

"It's nothing I just need a minute."

"Do you have a boyfriend or a brother maybe even a cousin in Boulder?"

The question brought her up short and she looked up at him quizically, "...no to all of the above."

"Then here," he opened his wallet and took out a reciept jotting something on the back quickly."In case you ever need any guy shaped help." She glanced at the paper it was his telephone number."Don't hesitate to call. I mean it."

"Yeah, thanks." She said absently clutching the piece of paper in her hand.

"Well now I really do think it is time for me to go." He turned and headed to his bike. She opened her car door."Kelly," he called, "Don't doubt yourself, I'm not on her payroll and I still think you are one of the best." He winked, climbed aboard, put on his helmet, and drove off.

A noble knight riding off on his valiant steed, but he wasn't her knight. When Kaylie finally came to her senses, he would be her knight again and that is the way that things were supposed to be. As evidenced by the events of a few minutes ago she had so much more to worry about than misplaced feelings of gratitude. She was trying to be better and that meant that Austin Tucker was off limits. Placing the slip of paper in the alcove under her radio she started up her engine and headed back to the bed and breakfast. Tomorrow was another day and it would just have to be better.


	10. Chapter 10

"God what is in here, your childhood rock collection." Payson groaned, balancing a large brown box on the edge of a stair as she leaned against the wall to catch her breath.

"Trophies," came the reply muffled by the box in front of Kelly's face.

"That is like the fifth one."chimed Emily.

"What can I say I'm that good."

Payson sat the box down as they reached the landing at the top of the stairs in front of Kelly's door. She and Emily had been helping Kelly move in all morning. The results of an ill thought out Thanksgiving wager. Kelly had agreed to come spend the day with the Keelers only if Payson helped her move the following Saturday. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but Payson was starting to realize she had drawn the short end of the stick. Emily had been recruited the following Friday. She should've known something was up when Kelly offered her mat cleaning services in exchange for help with a "few" boxes. It was not an even exchange.

It wouldn't have been that bad because Kelly didn't have that much stuff, but they had to load it all into the car from the bed and breakfast and then unload it again at the building. Even that wouldn't have been to terrible except Kelly lived on the fifth floor of a building with a with a broken elevator. All three girls were dripping with sweat.

"Consider it conditioning." Kelly said as they traversed the path back downstairs. "Plus think of how good my ass is going to look after climbing all of these stairs everyday."

"I fail to see how the condition of your butt supposed to be a motivating factor for us?" Payson deadpanned.

"Because we're friends now. I thought you would be happy for me."

"I'll be happy once this is over."

"That's the spirit."

"I still dont see why we didnt enlist some help of the male variety." Emily said as they reached the car again. Payson grabbed one of the larger pieces from Kelly's luggage set and struggling back to the building. She must have packed bricks in one or maybe both of them but she carried on anyway. They were tantalizingly close to being done.

"Because we are bonding. Girl talk and all that jazz." Kelly replied following her inside with a two boxes. Truth be told Kelly didnt want to face Austin after the incident and her subsequent breakdown at the coffee shop, and any male help would probably come complete with him. She had made avoiding him at the gym into an artform and she didn't plan on giving in today.

"Well your idea of bonding sucks. Ever heard of shopping or movie night?" Emily questioned.

"Yeah, because you spend your spare time at the mall."

"Well we certainly don't spend it bench pressing luggage." Came Payson's reply from half a flight down.

"I can pay you in pizza, whole wheat veggie of course."

"Ugh don't say pizza I have to be at the shack in an hour."

"Lucky for you, I live down the street."

Payson was amazed at their natural rapport. She, Lauren, and Kaylie had been training together for years, and they were friends, but she had always felt like an outsider during their more personal interactions, like she was only there because they didn't have another person they could call. She was surprised she could relate so easily to Kelly. Since their trip to Worlds, she had felt a connection with her. Maybe even before then, after all rivalry is a form of relationship. Having spent everyday together for the past week she had realized that they were suprisingly similar, both having a strong work ethic and and an unrelenting desire to succeed; to reach the dream no matter the personal costs. Everything else, including friendship, was secondary. Emily rounded off their trio nicely. She was just as determined to prove herself. Together they just worked. With Emily and Kelly she could be herself and there was someone else who would understand, no judgements.

There was another person who allowed her to be herself, encouraged it even, but she was trying not to think about him today. Since he'd returned she'd felt... funny, tense, but not in a bad way. Their day started the same every morning. She and Kelly would meet him outside the Rock and she would give him coffee. His fingers would graze hers as he took it and every morning she bit her lip at the shiver it sent down her spine. Once inside he would give her a bottle of the greatest water known to man and she would purposely brush her hand against his just to recreate the feeling. He never moved his hand. The only words spoken during the exchange were thank you. After warm ups, they would begin their rotations he focused on both of them in equal measures until the other gymnasts arrived. If Kelly noticed anything she didn't say a word. Although she had been in her own little world in the days leading up to Thanksgiving, which is what prompted Payson to make the offer that landed her in this mess.

Thanksgiving proved to be uneventful even with the addition of Kelly at their holiday table, and Friday saw practice as usual along with the return of snarky Kelly. Still she couldn't shake the off feeling. She knew it was due in some part to Sasha but she couldnt put her finger on the root cause. They had been perfectly polite and respectful to each other since their fishing trip at the lake. She would go so far as to say she could see their friendship rising from the ashes of bad decisions, only this time different. She felt like she was winding up a jack in the box. Sure the tune was catchy, but just as you find yourself happily humming along out pops jack destroying the illusion and scaring the little children. She felt like she was on the second to last line just waiting for the doll to make his appearance.

"Payson... Payson,"

She shook her head removing herself from her inner musings.

"I have been talking to you for five minutes. We are almost done so I'm about to order the pizza. Did you want anything else?"

''No thanks.''

Kelly nodded and made the call. They brought in the rest of the bags with little fanfare and the pizza arrived shortly thereafter. They did some light unpacking, laughing uncontrollably when they realized that Kelly had packed glow in the dark ceiling stars along with a vast array of fingernail polishes and make up items but didnt have any dishes or flatware. Nor did she have tissue, towels, a dresser or a bed. There was a sleeping bag though. Emily left headed to work and Payson helped Kelly put up her stars. They laid down on the sleeping bag and stared up at the newly decorated ceiling, tired from the long day.

"So what does it feel like to have your own place?"

"I mean minus the lack of a bed or a dresser or dishes... it feels pretty damn good. You should try it we could be neighbors." Kelly asked hopefully.

"I'm good for right now. My family needs me at home and I need a bed."

"Must be nice..." Kelly whispered wistfully. Payson waited, if Kelly wanted to talk she would be glad to listen.

"Your family is perfect. You have the caring Mom, loving Dad, cute little sister. It's like a picture from a greeting card. It was always just me and Sheila, there was never a dad. Now there isn't even a Shelia.'' Once she started the words just flooded out along with the tears. ''She always said it was us against the world, that no one could love me better. She said all of it was for me, so that I could have a better life than her. Then I find out she was robbing me blind. I gave my childhood, my life, I have given everything, for this impossible dream. I have been at this for years and I have nothing to show for it. That's why I'm here. I'm broke and I'm alone."

Payson reached over and took her hand just as she had done after her fall at Worlds, but this time she spoke, "You are NOT alone. You never have to be alone again." Kelly squeezed her hand back tightly almost afraid to let go. They let the moments pass without comment.

Kelly finally got up, and went over to a box pulling out a picture frame. It had been taken in Rio right after they won the team gold. Everyone was holding their medals and smiling. She and Kelly were in the middle framed by Emily, Lauren, Andrea, and Reagan. Without saying anything she placed the frame on a makeshift mantle in what would become the living room portion of the studio. She stood back and looked at it, then sat down to finish her pizza.

"So we have entered the girl talk portion of the evening." Kelly started brightly, staring at her with knowing eyes, "Nicky Russo."

Payson tried to hide her blush. "What about him?"

"He spends more time staring at you than practicing. When you are performing the poor boy practically drools. It's sad and completly obvious and I don't know how I didn't spot it sooner. You were probably the reason he moved back."

Payson didn't have a response to that, she never noticed her surroundings while performing, practice or otherwise. ''What are you even saying right now?''

"All you have to do is look at the boy to see he is head over heels for you."

"Boys don't like me."

"God Keeler get over yourself. You are hot. Trust me boys like you. I seem to remember a night in Rio-"

"That we agreed to never speak of," Payson interjected.

Kelly held up her hands in surrender.

"Anyway I don't need anymore distractions, therefore, no boys."

"Normally I would agree, but you need something to pull you out of this funk. You spend every moment at the gym or at home."

"Um so do you."

"Yes, but I'm having a quarter life crisis, and intense family issues. What's your excuse?"

"The Olympics."

"Ok there's that," Kelly smiled, "But, Russo is cute, not my type but cute. And I know the two of you had something before he left.''

''That was nothing. He had a 'thing' with Kaylie."

"What kind of incestous soap opera are you people running over there. Lauren and Carter, Kaylie and Carter, Lauren and Carter again. You and Nicky, Kaylie and Nicky, there's probably a Lauren and Nicky saga that has yet to be discovered. Then there is the you Max, and Lauren chapter which is still unresolved. Kmetko is the only one with the good sense to date outside of the small town that is the world of elite gymnastics at the Rock" Kelly laughed. ''Now that I think about it all I'm amazed any of you people ever managed to squeeze gymnastics in between your daily episodes of 'As The Rock Turns'.

"Hey we're your people now."

Kelly shrugged her sholders but sombered a bit. "You just seem sad. I want you to be happy." She hesitated biting her lip.

''You really are a sap.''Payson joked.

''Breathe a word of this, and I will deny everything. I have my reputation to consider. Took me years of grade A bitchery to perfect my persona. I can't have you destroying it with lies.''

''I wouldn't dream of it.''

They stayed on the floor talking and laughing as they took turns making up storylines for 'As the Rock Turns' each one more outlandish than the last. Payson felt the tension slowly disappaiting as laughter filled the small studio with happiness well into the night.

* * *

Things had been running pretty smooth at the gym as of late, and before Sasha realized it, the week of Christmas was upon them. He was standing next to the bars waiting to spot Kelly on her new release move while Payson rehearsed dance elements on the floor. He purposely kept his back turned in an effort to keep his mind off of her, which had become impossible. In an attempt to get their old rhythm back they had created a new dance, one that was laced with sexual tension. Her curiousity led to innocent touches and secret smiles throughout the day. Familiarity led him to place his hand at the small of her back when entering the gym, or to allow his fingers to trail from her shoulders down her arms as he imparted instructions. It was beyond inappropriate and he never should have allowed it to happen. He'd rationalized it by telling himself he was treating her like an adult but that caused him to have very adult thoughts about her, alone, and late at night.

Long days in the gym had become torture. Each morning when he accepted her cup of cofffee and handed her a bottle of water in return it made it that much harder to stop. Everytime he allowed his gaze to wander over her form for any reason other than to offer instruction, he was pulled deeper into her allure. Whenever he allowed himself to be affected by her touch, or to smirk back in answer to her smiles, he fell deeper under her thrall. It was an unconsious seduction on her par,t making it that much more difficult to defend against. His resolve was weakening. They were tempting fate and fate was not to be trifled with in such a manner.

So this morning he had her practice only on her dance elememts for floor and beam and focused all of his attention on Kelly. Other gymnasts were beginning to arrive, so he gave Kelly a break and moved on to Lauren and Emily, his diamonds in the rough. They were complementary gymnasts. Lauren all fire and sizzle to over compensate for any percieved weaknesses or vulnerabilities she might have. People overlooked her not because she lacked anything, but because she had too much of everything else. With Lauren it was about pulling back and letting each skill shine on its own, knowing when to be soft and when to go full out. Emily on the other hand wore her vulnerability on her sleeve, gymnastics wise at least. It over shadowed the fire and passion she had for the sport. With her, the breakthrough had been confidence. She needed to learn to infuse every movement with all the fire and passion she possessed, to get out of her own head, stop overthinking, and leave it all on the floor.

Having them work together these past three weeks had benifitted them both in ways they couldn't imagine. Lauren was slowly learning empathy and Emily was picking up on Lauren's unapologetic desire to win. Working with them for the next few hours gave his mind a much needed break from thoughts of Payson. He was standing with them giving his final thoughts on both of their bar sets when he realized that Lauren wasn't paying attention. Her mouth was open and a slightly gleeful expression flitted across her face as she watched something behind happening him.

"Is there something more important elsewhere in this gym?"

"No,Sasha." Emiliy replied immediatly before realizing he was speaking to Lauren. She reached over to tap her partner only to stop midway becoming similarly distracted by whatever had captured Lauren's attention.

He spun around to see what was so interesting, had someone done a new move, or as was more likely in this gym, was someone fighting. What he saw made his jaw tighten. Leaning up against the vault was Payson she had her face down and her arms stretched over head gripping the other side, and while that image would normally be enough to slacken his jaw any other day it was the person standing behind her that caused it to tighten. Nicky Russo. He was standing behind her massaging the lower part of her shoulder while she moaned into the horse. He saw red. He vaguely heard Emily mutter "Oh shit," before he was halfway across the gym and standing in front of the horse.

"Is there a problem here?"

The boy jumped back quickly, while Payson looked up slowly. A confused look crossed her face when she observed his obvious anger.

"I just twisted a muscle the wrong way. It was nothing," she offered in an effort placate him.

He ignored her and turned to Nicky ,who had backed about two feet away and was standing next to Kelly on the runway.

"This is not an amatuer massage parlor, if someone twists, bends, or pulls something the wrong way we have trained professionals to see to it. Do not think you can put your hands on my gymnasts."

"Sasha, Nicky was just trying to help. He didn't do anything wro-."

He rounded on her, "I gave you strict instructions to work on dance elements. How did you hurt your shoulder doing arabesques and back attitudes." His voice was clipped and derisive.

"You told me that at five oclock this morning. I didnt know you expected me to spend my entire day dancing." She could feel her own temper beginning to rise.

"Did my instructons change."

"Yeah, they did actually, when you called for us to change to vault. I don't have any dance skills on vault last time I checked." She couldn't keep the heat out of her tone. Why was he so mad.

Neither realized that most of the gym had stopped working to observe them. They weren't shouting, and only the people in their immediate vicinity could hear what they were saying, but their stances were confrontational; arms crossed with fixed glares.

"If you are hurt you can go see Jake, If it's so bad you can't go on, you can go home for the day." He walked away and out of the gym needing the fresh air to clear his mind. He knew he was making a fool out of himself but he couldn't stop the jealousy that had overtaken his rationality. He had reacted to the boy as a rival for Payson's affections. He had seen him watching her, but he comforted himself with the knowledge that she didn't notice the boy back. That changed today when he saw them up close and personal. Of course she'd noticed the boy, he was the one she should be noticing. He was appropriate.

Sasha closed his eyes and leaned against the side of the building. This had to end. He didn't realize how much he was entertaining the idea of it happening, until today's blatant reminder of why it couldn't. The fallout from any affair would effect not only their careers, but those of the gymnasts around them. He would lose his objectivity.

The door opened and he knew it was Payson coming to see about him probably to apologize for something that was not her fault. Therefore the male voice startled him.

"I came to apologize and say that it wasn't Payson's fault. I'm taking classes in sports medicine, at the University of Denver and I was just trying to help her. It was her injury that inspired me to take them actually. She is my friend."

He looked at the boy for a long time. Considering him. "Fifty laps and then meet me at the rings."

He made his way back inside and walked straight up the stairs to his office. Kim was eyeing him over the desk.

"My daughter just left here cursing your name."

"I'm not surprised."

"I know you just want to protect them, but they have to grow up sometime. Nick is not a bad kid."

"No he isn't." And that was the problem. He wasn't a bad kid at all. In fact he was probably the right kid.

"Put it this way it could have been Carter Anderson." Kim joked, placing a friendly hand on his shoulder as she exited the office, leaving him with his thoughts.

"It is so nice to see the golden girl finally in the hot seat." Lauren said in a sing song voice as she sat in a chair next to Payson, who was laying down on a bench in the back of the locker room. "So you and Nicky? How long has that been going on?"

"Aren't you supposed to be training?" Payson returned not moving her arm from over her eyes.

"How can I when my coach has disappeared. What did he say to you anyway?"

"Tell Lauren to mind her own damn business." Kelly said walking from behind a set of lockers and coming to stand next to Payson.

"Ugh this has nothing to do with you, Parker, I was talking to my friend. Go back to whatever hole you slithered out of this morning." Lauren said waving Kelly off in an agitated manner.

"Are you alright Pay?" Came Emily's voice full of concern.

"I'm fine. How is Nicky?"

"Probably changing his pants," Kelly muttered.

"Not funny K.P." Payson said nudging Kelly's knee with her elbow.

"I am being honest. I thought Sasha was going to kill him, or at least beat him...badly."

Emily let out a supressed giggle followed by a snort of laughter.

"I thought he was going to cry." Lauren said.

"Guys this isn't funny." Payson countered, but they kept going as though she hadn't spoken.

"Or hide behind Kelly." Emily laughed.

"Enough guys, it's not funny."

"I mean really. Did you see his face?" Lauren guaffewed. All three girl had succumbed to raucous laughter by this point.

"He looked like a kicked puppy." Emily weezed out holding her stomach.

"Or one who had his favorite toy taken away." Kelly added.

"Really Pay what were you guys thinking?" Emily breathed out trying to catch her breath.

"I don't know," came Payson's sheepish reply, "My shoulder hurt, and his hands felt good. I didn't think, I just went with it."

"His hands felt good. How good?" Lauren smirked raising her brows suggestivly.

"Like moaning out loud good." Kelly said.

"Traitor." Payson cried.

Lauren stood and began imitating Payson in an exaggerated voice. "Ooohhhh Nicky," she started, causing the other two girls to burst out laughing again. Even Payson cracked a smile. "Your hands feel soooo goood. That's it ,mmm, right there. Oh ye-"

"If you're quite finished Ms. Tanner. I'd like to see to Payson alone." The quiet accented voice cut through the laughter effectivly silencing it.

It was comical how fast the color drained from Lauren's face to be replaced by a look of abject horror. The other girls hurried towards the door. Emily grabbed Lauren's arm and pulled her with them.

Payson heard Kelly whisper, "Sure you don't need to stay and change your shorts Lauren." As the door swung closed behind them. Leaving her alone with Sasha.

* * *

Thank you for all of the reiews I cherish each one and they really do help the writing process. I hope everyone likes the story so far! If you have any comments or suggestions please feel free to leave a review or pm me. I live for constructive critisism it only make things better. Don't forget to favorite, follow and review.

Special thanks to maroneyairlines and darkmoon222 for all of their feedback and support.


	11. Chapter 11

ch.11

She dropped her arm from her face as he walked further into the locker room. His expression was calm. She took a minute to really observe him. From her lower vantage point she could truly appreciate his height. He let out a ragged breath, and threaded his long fingers through his hair. He was truly striking, as though every inch of him had been made to be touched.

His voice brought her back to the present. "May I have a look at your shoulder?"

She didn't say anything, but turned over on her stomach, presenting her back to him for examination.

Kneeling down, he used two fingers to trace down her back til he reached a spot on the lower end of her shoulder blade. He felt her shoulder tense.

"Did that hurt?" He ran his thumb over the spot again.

"Not really. It's nothing. My arm positioning was just slightly wrong when I pushed off it's just a twinge that needed to be worked out."

"Fine, let's work it out then." He started making small but firm circles with his fingers until he heard her sigh.

He cleared his throat. "I would like to apologize for my earlier behavior. It was an over reaction."

"You think."

"You're not blameless. Your behavior was inappropriate. This is a gym with younger girls, who look up to you whether you like it or not. Your actions, while not intended as such were...suggestive." That sounded justifiable.

"I never asked to be a role model." She said softening a bit.

"No one ever does but you are all the same."

She grunted quietly. The silence allowed her brain to focus on how his touch was making her feel, which was warm and tingly all over. This was the first time they had been alone together since the cabin, even though there was a gym full of people only a set of double doors away. Nestled in the back of the locker room it felt as though they were in their own little world. Her breathing deepened and her pulse sped up. The feelings he was illiciting were completly different from the comforting relief provided by Nicky just minutes earlier. His hands on her body set her on edge, her skin grew hot and a pulse began to thrum low in her abdomen.

"How does that feel?" He murmured.

"So good." She moaned.

His hand stilled momentarily. It took every ounce of his phenomenal self control to keep from launching himself at her; consequences be damned. Did she not know what that tone of voice did to him. His stomach tightened and he let out a shuddering sigh as he closed his eyes. Somewhere along the way he must have developed a masochistic streak. That was the only thing that could explain why he had placed himself in this ridiculous situation, only minutes after promising himself to stay away from her. He pulled away, stood and turned to face the door.

"Good. Go see Jake, get his approval, and then get back to work." He left without looking back.

Payson stared at the closed door and then threw her towel at it. The man was so damn frustrating. She dragged herself off the bench, wishing she had a weaker work ethic so that she could call it a day and go home.

As soon as she exited the room Lauren was at her side. "I know your bummed because Sasha is mad and everything, but I have great news. Daddy is letting me have a New Years Eve party this year and you're invited." Lauren rushed out clapping her hands together in excitment.

"I don't kn-"

"Oh c'mon Pay, you cant say no, I already text Kaylie and she said she is coming. Don't you want to see her."

Payson did miss Kaylie, she had been meaning to go visit but things had been so hectic and confusing as of late, that she never got around to it. Seeing Kaylie would be good.

"I'll think about it."

"Great. This is going to be so much fun!" She clapped her hands one last time and bounded off towards the beam.

"I see you'll be starting the new year in hell." Kelly said, coming to stand next to her by the door.

"Like you won't be there too."

"I wasn't invited, but I do plan on gate crashing, unless you want to make me your plus one."

"That reminds me. I wondered if maybe you wanted to spend the Christmas holidays with us. We have a tradition on Christmas Eve. Mom, Becca, and I bake cookies and candy while marathoning Home Alone 1-4 all day. Then Becca and I sleep in the living room and wake up ridiculously early to open gifts. You don't have to come over for that part if you don't want to, but you are invited to Christmas Day."

"Aside from the fact that I'm nauseated by the sweetness of it all. Count me in, anything beats grilled chicken salad and reality television."

"I'll let my mom know."

"So are you allowed even touch any of the equipment or have you been banned for the day."

"I have to see Jake and get cleared, then I should be fine."

"Sure you don't want to ditch and spend the rest of the day having lover boy rub your back."

Yes actually, yes she would. Only it was Sasha she wanted touching her, not Nicky. She made a face, and Kelly laughed before heading off in the direction of the bars.

She didn't speak to Sasha for the rest of the day and left on time instead of staying wouldn't admit it to anyone on pain of death, but she was infinitly grateful they had a break from the gym for the next few days.

* * *

Kelly arrived around ten the next morning and they spent the rest of the day in the kitchen. Things seemed to be more fun with Kelly there. After they got over the initial shock that she had never seen Home Alone, they spent the rest of the day laughing and dodging ingredients that someone had thrown at someone else. Kim treated Kelly like she was a member of the family even making her wash dishes. Kelly felt lighter than she could ever remember.

They had just placed the last batch of cookies in the oven, when Kim took out a tin and began placing assorted treats inside."I want you girls to take these over to Sasha. I hate to think of him all alone in that trailer with nothing festive."

"Sure thing Mrs. K." Kelly said putting on her jacket and shoes which were still by the hung back in the kitchen."Are you coming Pay? If not I'm going to have to take all of the credit."

She watched as her friend shook herself, and silently went into her room to grab her jacket and shoes. Once in the car she cranked up the radio and sang along with it til they reached the Rock parking lot.

"Marty is here." Kelly announced happily, recognizing the red truck parked next to the silver one.

"Maybe we should come back tomorrow." Payson hedged.

"No way! I want to see Marty. I miss him"

"Fine but let's be quick about it."

"Are you still mad at Sasha for yelling at you?"

"No, I just don't want to bother him at home."

"Whatever." Kelly said, turning off the car and opening her door. "I doubt he will see it that way. Plus we come baring gifts."

Payson slowly undid her seatbelt and walked up to the trailer with Kelly who rapped on the door loudly. There was a loud bang and a muffled curse before the door was opened by a glassy eyed and slightly disheveled Marty Walsh.

"Kelly, Payson!" he greeted them happily; a bit to happily. "What are you guys doing here? And no I wont let you in the gym."

"We aren't here to practice. We have presents." Kelly smiled showing her old coach the bag.

"Are those Kim's holiday cookies?"

Kelly nodded.

"Right this way ladies." He stepped to the side to allow them to pass.

"I forgot the perks of this job. Boulder moms are so much nicer than the ones in Denver. I might need my job back Belov." Marty said the last part loudly, directing his voice towards the far end of the trailer.

Payson had never been inside the trailer and she felt as though she was invading Sasha's inner sanctum. Looking around she noted it wasnt very big, but it was neat. There wasn't much in the way of decorations, but then again she didn't think he cared much for Martha Stewart decorating tips. They were standing next to a table with a half empty bottle of scotch, next to a half empty bottle of vodka, and two glasses sitting on it. Marty had moved further into the room to sit on the couch, and behind her there was a closed door which she assumed led to the bedroom.

"Who was th-" Payson turned at the sound of his voice, catching the brief look of surprise that colored his features before they settled into a scowl.

"Kelly brought snacks." Marty announced taking the bag from her hand. "I've been here all day, and while he does have the good liquor, all he has to eat is Wheaties. Wait, forget I said that."

The space felt as though it was getting smaller by the minute, and Payson felt the back of her neck grow hot from the silent glare that was being directed at her by Sasha. "Well that is it then. Enjoy your cookies. Kelly and I were just leaving."

"Just a minute Pay, I need to talk to Marty about something." Kelly said.

Marty looked up from the tin at his name. "Is it your mo-"

"Yeah," she cut him off, looking nervously at Sasha who was still staring at Payson. "Do you think I could see you outside for a minute."

''Of course."

With that the two of them left, leaving Sasha still staring at Payson. She was alone in his home, not even two feet from his bed. He wasn't sure if he believed in a higher deity, but if one did exist he had surely done something to piss them off. He only had two options, he could turn around and shut the door to his room with her on the otherside until they left, or he could go back to the chair where he had been sitting. Getting to the chair entailed walking past her and in the narrow confines of the trailer they would be all but pressed up against one another. She made the decision easier for him when she sat down in the chair closet to her. He walked by and sat across from her. She looked at the bottles on the table.

''So this was your holiday plan. Shots with Marty."

He didnt respond. Instead, he placed one elbow on the table and rested his chin on his hand, fingers over his mouth as if deep in thought, while his other hand tapped out a quiet rhythm next to the bottle. He watched her with an indecernable expresion on his face. The tension that lingered whenever they were in the same room seemed to be exacerbated by the smaller space. She blamed the heady sensation that came over her whenever she as in his presence for what happened next. Reaching out she touched his hand, silencing the beat. She let her fingers trail across his wrist down the back of his hand until their fingers intertwined. His eyes never left hers. Emboldened by his passivity, she curled her fingers around his in the intimation of holding hands and smiled. She had no idea why she was doing this, but the way his eyes were burning into her made something hot coil in her stomach. "It's not all in my head is it?" She whispered more to herself than him. "Tell me it's not all in my head. Tell me I'm not crazy. You feel it too."

He had been passive until that point, so she was unprepared when he suddenly moved. Grabbing her by the hand that was still holding his, he pushed her against the wall opposite the door. He pressed against her, molding her body to his and she was too shocked to breath. He took his hand out of hers, and placed it firmly against her jaw. "Is this what you want Payson?" He let his hand caress the side of her neck, across her clavicle, and down the side of her breast, coming to rest at the curve of her waist."Is this what you came here for?" His hand went lower, gripping the curve of her behind. and then slipping to grasp her thigh, and hitching it over his hip. Opening her up and allowing her to feel his need for her.

She thought her heart was going to beat right out of her chest. His mouth was so close that everytime he spoke his lips grazed hers, and his whiskey laced exhales were invading her mouth. She didn't know if it was his eyes, his words, or his body that was actually keeping her pinned against the wall. Her mind had ceased all attempts at coherent or rational thoughts. She was just a writhing mass of sensation. It felt like every nerve in her body was exsposed and singing at the prolonged contact with Sasha. She leaned her head forward and closed her eyes, waiting for the inevitable contact.

He looked down at her angelic features. She exuded sensuality and innnocence, the combination was intoxicating. It would be so easy to just get lost in her. He wanted to drag her into his bedroom and spend all day and all night getting lost in her. But he had been in the same situation before, and he had chosen wrong. He wouldn't do that again. Instead of kissing her he spoke, "Payson." It was a pained whisper. He hadn't retreated any so his lips touched hers when he spoke.

"Hmm," was her incoherent reply.

"I'm your coach." He breathed, relishing the tremors that went through him when she sighed deeply.

"I know." She whispered

"It's wrong."

"I know." she sighed deeper, and squeezed her eyes shut tighter.

"I cant." His voice was choked with emotion.

"I know that too." She whispered.

"You deserve so much more than stolen moments in a trailer, or a man that can only be with you in the shadows. I can't give you what you need." She moved to walk past him, but he caught her arm."Wait, please. Just stand here with me for one minute. For one minute, no talking, no thinking. You're not my gymnast and I'm not your coach we are just us." He rested his forehead on hers and whispered, "Give us one minute to be us."

So they stood there. They stood there as the clock ticked off sixty seconds. Eyes opened, foreheads pressed together, breathing each other in, memorizing the moment.

He exhaled deeply and pressed a kiss to her forehead. She rushed past him and out the door. Taking deep, gulping breaths of the crisp December air clear her mind and keep the tears at bay. She walked blindly to the car and got inside. She heard the door open and Kelly start it up. Leaning her head against the door and she let the tears fall silently as they drove down the street.

* * *

"Are you drunk or just stupid?" Marty said as he stood in the doorway of the trailer watching Sasha fill up another glass.

Sasha gave a humorless laugh. "Probably a little...or maybe alot, of both."

The two men regarded each other. Then Marty let out a weary sigh and sat down. Sasha followed suit.

"You must hate me." He started. "She was your golden girl and I ruined her; broke her in more ways than you can imagine."

"I want to know what the hell you were thinking! Here I am warning you about the dangers of gym moms and you...and Pay-" He broke off unable to complete the thought.

"I love her." He said quietly, then paused looking down at his glass of amber liquid as though it was tthe one who had spoken. It was the first time he had admitted it to himself let alone aloud. He let his thoughts continue to flow. "She might be the love of my life."

"Tell me you arent filling her head with that shit!" Marty raged standing up. "These girls have one chance Belov, one chance to realize their dreams. You can't honestly be that selfish."

"I love her. I am in love with her." Sasha repeated in a low and awed tone, still looking at the table.

"Do you think this ends with a happily ever me you aren't that stupid. There is no happy ending to this story." He may as well have been talking to a brick wall.

"I have found the love of my life, and she will never be mine. I can never have her." He finally looked up at pain and anguish reflected in his eyes caused the other man to deflate entirely. He collapsed back into his chair and snatched his glass off the table. Reaching for the scotch he filled the glass up to the top.

"You dont drink scotch." Sasha noted absently.

"Well this feels like a scotch moment." He grabbed Sasha's glass and poured him another shot."Drink up buddy we're going to need it."

The man gave an incredulous laugh."Are you actually on my side?"

Marty tossed the shot back, grimacing at the taste."You're my friend. I'm always on your side. I still think this is a disaster of epic proportions, just waiting to blowup in our faces. I'll losemy job, and you'll go to jail, but I am on you side.

"Thank you." Sasha replied quietly.

* * *

When they pulled into the driveway Kelly turned off the car but didnt make a move to get out. She looked over and found Kelly staring at her intensely.

"So, I'm going to go out on a limb here, and say this isn't the first time, you have given Sasha Belov some... of your cookies."

Payson didn't know whether to cry or laugh. Doing nothing seemed like the best option. It was fine Kelly carried on without her.

"I'm actually mad at myself right now. I mean looking back on it now, the two of you were so obvious. First there were the rumors, then the coffee, the flirting, the banter, the touching, and the staring. There was alot of staring and smiling. It all makes sense now. The two of you did everything except make out in front of me; don't ever do that by the way; I already cant unsee the two of you dry humping against a trailer wall."

Payson felt her eyes go wide. "You saw us. If you saw, then that means," she was starting to feel lightheaded, "That means that Marty."

"I had to literally, hold him back, he was coming to defend your honor, or what is left of it. Thank God he was slightly off balance due to drinking."

"I can't believe we left drunk, angry Marty with Sasha."

"He wasn't drunk, and Sasha can handle himself. I'm concerned about you. What the hell is going on Payson? Are you and Sasha...having an affair? I mean, it looked consensual but did he promise you things or force- "

"God no! Does that even sound like Sasha? He would never do anything like that and you know it!"

"Until five minutes ago, I knew Sasha Belov would never sleep with a seventeen year old gymnast, but seems like I was wrong. So I dont know what I know anymore. Just tell me what is happening right now! Are you sleeping with our coach?"

"Yes. No." She threw her hands up in frustration."It was just once. We only slept together once." The words hung heavy in the air.

Kelly considered the information before turning back to Payson. "Rio?"

Payson nodded. Kelly let out a low whistle.

"Well that explains alot. So you slept together, once, in Rio." She repeated while staring at the steering wheel, as if confirming it to herself. She looked up at Payson, "Fucking how?"

"What?" Payson asked confused.

"How in the hell did you end up sleeping with Sasha? I mean I knew there was someone, I had my money on Russo. But Sasha, your coach; our coach,; fucking how?"

''We were drunk.''

"Wait a damn minute. You got Sasha Belov drunk, and then, slept with him." Kelly let a small smirk play on her lips.

"It wasn't like that. It just happened it wasn't planned. We were at the bar drinking and then I couldn't find my keys, so we went to the front desk but I couldn't get the key because I didn't have any i.d. so we ended up in his room waiting for you to get back to our room because I threatened the desk clerrk with gymnastics. The next thing I know we were kissing and then it was the next morning. He freaked out I threw up and here we are." She rushed out without taking a breath, recounting everything she could remember of the infamous night.

"So let me get this straight; and correct me if I'm wrong. You went to a party, got drunk, got Sasha drunk, did drunken gymnastics in a hotel lobby, and then seduced your coach. That is about the gist of it right."

"I didn't get him drunk."

"Payson Marie Keeler; You ssscccaaandalous hussy. The press is right; you continue to amaze and surpass expectations. I feel oddly proud."

"Shut up." She said giving a watery smile.

"So what was that today?"

Payson smile faded. "The end."

"Pay-"

"No he is right. We can't do whatever this is or was, I was stupid to think that anything could ever happen in the first place."

"You're not stupid. He literally cant be with you. I have only been here like a month, so I know I dont know him like you do but, Sasha is a good guy. After everythng I have done, he let me come to the Rock, and he has never treated me any differently from anybody else there. When it comes to moral fiber and all that jazz, I would say he is winning. But, there in lies your problem. He is a good guy, and the annoying thing about good guys is, they always do the right thing. He is trying to protect you. Do you remember how bad the rumors were?"

Payson grimaced.

"Imagine if everyone knew they were true. If Ellen Beals could substantiate them. She would decimate you, not to mention what she would do to Sasha." Kelly shook her head.

Payson knew she was right. Even if they waited until after the Olympics, people would always whisper about them and he didn't offer her that anyway.

"Let's go inside. I just want this night to be over." Payson grumbled getting out of the car and slamming the door.

By the time Kelly made it inside, she heard the shower running in the down on the edge of the bed, she let her mind wonder to what she had just learned. Payson and Sasha. It made sense from a certain perspective. She had never believed the rumors. Spread them yes, but she never believed them. Payson Keeler didn't do stupid things like that; she wouldnt even take a cortisone shot, and that was legal. How wrong she had been. Even now, a part of her knew that if this information ever came to light it would all but cinch her spot on the Olympic team, and probably get her the All- Around gold medal she had craved since she turned her first cartwheel.

The conversation with Marty had revealed that Sheila's last act as her manager had been to drop all of her sponsors. Now she was doing her level best to have Kelly blacklisted in the industry. All she had to do was call Shelia and tell her what she had seen. A coup like this, and she would be welcomed back with open arms. One little phone call, and she could have everything she wanted, the world would revolve around Kelly again.

She opened her purse to find her phone. It had to be done. Maybe she would be doing them a favor. Without gymnastics they could be together, maybe move to Romania or England, have a few blond gymnastics prodigy babies. She saw the pink corner of her phone and went to grab it but was hindered by a rectangular box sitting on top of it. Kelly felt her heart stop when she saw it. Pivking it up gently, she let her purse slide to the floor. Lifting the lid, she picked up one of the two identical lengths of sterling silver. nestled in the tissue paper. They weren't expensive, but each held a charm. One read best and the other said friend. It had been a sentimental spur of the moment purchase that she had regretted immediatly, so she'd tossed the box down in her purse and scoured the mall to find a more age appropriate gift.

"Opening gifts a little early. Who is it from?"

Kelly flinched at Payson's sudden appearance in the doorway. She looked better even thought her eyes were still a bit glossy.

"It's nothing. It's stupid. I was just going to throw it out."

"It looks pretty. Let me see." Payson leaned closer to examine the jewelry. "Someone bought you a bracelet that says best. They must know you well."

Kelly flushed when she saw Payson look in the box and read the other charm and then look at her."It's so lame, I know. I was at the mall and I was sad. I saw this and I bought it on impulse." Feeling as though that explanation still wasn't enough she carried on, "When I was younger, the other girls in my classes would always be trading these bracelets back and forth, but no one ever gave me one. I figured they though I was just to cool for something like that, but I really wanted to do it, so one day I bought a set. I gave one to this girl named Brittany." She paused and took a shaky breath. "She told me she didn't want it, because she didn't want to be my best friend. She said no one even wanted to be my friend." Kelly sniffled."I bought it, the day after you helped me move in because... because it felt like now I might have someone to give the other one to, there you go. I was in the mall and I was sad and I bought a silly gift.

Payson took the bracelet out of the box and placed it on her arm, fiddling with the clasp."Will you fasten it for me?"

"You dont have to pretend. Your real gift is under the tree already."

"Fasten it for me." She repeated. Kelly leaned over and closed the clasp. Payson stared at the bracelet and then looked back at Kelly, the glossy sheen in her eyes had given way to tears."Kaylie and Lauren had necklaces. We were thirteen and Lauren gave it to Kaylie for her birthday. When my birthday rolled around I expected the same thing but I got a leo, from both of them. I've never had one before either." She smiled at Kelly, "A bracelet... or a best friend."

Both girls were smiling through tears as Kelly reached out and hugged Payson fiercely, she returned the embrace just as tightly.

"God, this is the most I have cried on Christmas since I woke up and saw my parents putting my toys together instead of Santa." Payson laughed sniffing a bit.

"At least you got to believe in Santa for awhile."

"I was three and a half."

They looked at each other and burst out laughing.

"Are you guys coming? I'm about to restart Home Alone without you." Becca said as she poked her head through a crack in the door.

"We'll be right there." Payson took the other bracelet and fastened it to Kelly's wrist before they left the room.

The rest of the night was spent in front of the television gorging themselves on candy as they laughed at the antics unfolding on the screen.

* * *

Once again thank you to everyone who is taking the time to read this! A special thank you to all of those who have taken the time to review, favorite, and follow. Leave a reviewand let me know what you guys think, good or bad. Thanks!


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Christmas morning was spent opening gifts that Mark passed out while wearing a Santa hat. Around two pm they sat down to an early dinner. Payson's spirits seemed to be higher, but she still didn't eat much, and her smiles didn't quite reach her eyes. About thirty minutes into dinner they were interrupted by the doorbell. Mrs. Keeler looked to her husband and he got up to answer it. Kelly heard quiet voices coming from the front of the house and then 's voice rang out from the foyer. "Pay, Kim you guys might want to come here."

Payson moved first followed by the tables other two occupants.

''What's going on Dad?" She asked when she got to the front door.

''See for yourself,'' he said indicating she should go outside.

''Merry Christmas Payson!'' MJ was standing in her driveway next to a champagne gold Lexus coupe with a big red bow on top.

''What is going on guys?''

''I thought I would surprise you with all of the good news at once. First of all this," M.J. flourished her hand to indicate the car, "Is a gift from your latest sponsor.''

"What?! When did this happen?"

"End of last week."

"And it's mine just like that."

"It's yours," she smiled at Payson. "And that's not all. I have secured you a principle spot in the most sought after campaign in the sports world right now. The Gucci Gold Collection."

Kelly's eyes narrowed at that information. Lexus was huge but to get a high fashion campagin was almost unheard of in gymnastics. They were just too short and stocky. She listened closely as M.J. filled a stunned Payson in on the details.

"They are doing an Olympic friendly segment for their Gold Collection. There will be swimmers, tennis players, track and field stars, from a myriad of countries all the best hopes for Olympic Gold in 2012. They have dubbed it, 'We are Golden'. It will feature everything from watches, to perfume, and even some sportier pieces from their spring collection. Right now you are slotted for the fragrances, but we can get more if this goes well. Shooting starts on January 3rd and there will be more shoots in the future. It's a two year commitment from now to the Olympics, and if you win Gold there it could be longer." She paused to let the size of such a long term commitment sink in, "Now I know you are hesitant to miss training, but Payson this is the opprotunity of a lifetime. Exposure like this will catapult you to unimaginable heights, and provide you with security after the Olympics. I have Paul on standby, all you have to do, is say yes."

Payson looked back at them questioningly. Kelly rolled her eyes, "It's a no-brainer. Take the offer Keeler."

Payson looked to her mother and father, Kim spoke,"It's up to you sweetie, but I'm with Kelly. You have earned it."

Payson spun around and grinned at M.J. It was the first real smile Kelly had seen from her that day. "You've got a deal."

M.J. grinned back. "It is a pleasure working for you Ms. Keeler." She handed Payson the key to her new car.

She stepped back as the rest of Payson's family came forward to examine the car. Kelly hung back as well, watching the happy family oh and ah over their daughter's success. The distraction seemed to have lifted Payson's spirits, luxury cars and multimillion dollar deals tended to have that effect on a person.

"I'm sorry about all of that bad business with your ankle. You must really love the sport to stay so close to it, even though you can no longer compete." M.J. said in a low tone.

"What?" Kelly was genuinely confused.

"I heard about your ankle." MJ said as though that were enough of an explanation. When she saw the confusion on Kelly's face she went on, "Your mother told us, about your ankle. The doctors said you can no longer compete on it."

"M.J. I don't know what my mother told you, but my ankle is fine. Why else would I be training at the Rock everyday.''

"She said you were in denial. I understand that too, my career was cut short as well. It's a tough pill to swallow."

"I'm not in denial. My ankle is fine. I am a member of the National Team don't you think they would have replaced me if I couldn't compete."

M.J. studied her silently for a moment, as if gauging the veracity of her arguments. "There is a National Team practice on the 10th. They won't only be determining the team they take to Greece, but your eligibility to remain on the team. They already have others in mind, If what you say is true you better make that the practice of your life." She walked away leaving a stunned Kelly in her wake. She knew her mother was mad but she didn't think she would go to these lengths to destroy her career.

A laugh drew her attention back to the people in front of her; Payson and her perfect family. In that moment she felt an overwhelming surge of hatred for them, that ebbed into intense jealousy. Was this her cumuppance for all of her past wrongdoings? Did she deserve this? Why did her entire life have to be a fight? Wasn't anything ever just easy?

Payson chose that moment to look up and wave her over to the car but Kelly backed away slowly towards the house. She couldn't be here right now. She needed space to breathe, think, and get her head together.

Marty told her yesterday that her mother had broken all of her ties with the sponsors. He had been fielding calls since she left, but true to his word he hadn't said anything about her circumstances. Now she knew why her sponsors had run for the hills. Even the hint that she was damaged goods would have sent her marketability into free fall. But her mother hadn't stopped there, it seemed as though she was actively trying to have her dismissed from the National team. It was just to much.

Entering the Keeler home she searched for her things, throwing them into her bag haphazardly. She heard Payson call her name from the doorway but she ignored her. Anything she said to her right now would be incredibly hurtful, but Payson wouldn't just go away. She didn't notice she was even crying until she felt the tears soak into Paysons shirt as her arms came around her. She stood there and let Payson hug her but there was no comfort to be had, she still needed to get out of there. Pulling away she wiped her face. She wanted to be the bigger person and say congratulations or even Merry Christmas but she couldn't so instead she just walked away.

She drove around aimlessly for hours, just thinking. When it boiled down to it she was scared, losing gymmnastics meant losing herself. This was more than just a dream, it was her life. The very essence of who she was, was wrapped up in this sport. She decided that she would have to fight for it, harder than she had ever fought before, because if this was taken away from her she would truly have nothing, and that was unacceptable. Her resolution made, she pulled into her parking spot in front of her building. She trudged up the stairs happy to be home. Shifting her bag from her hand to her shoulder, she went to put her key in the lock, but the door was already open.

Austin Tucker's Christmas sucked. He had spent the day alone in his big house. All of his other friends had things to do or family to be with, and while he had been invited he didn't want to impose. Christmas with other peoples families never sat right with him. he always felt out of place, but it was better than being alone, which he always was, lots of aquaintances but no true friends.

So when his phone rang he was both excited and apprehensive. He didnt know what he wanted more, for the phone to stop ringing, or for it to be a someone inviting him to some holiday shindig. What he didn't expect was to hear an unidentifiable sobbing voice on the other end.

"Austin, it's Kelly," was all he could make out before the sobs overtook her words. He tried to calm her down, but he doubted she could hear him through her tears. She was saying something about karma, cumuppances, and robberies. The last word made him sit up and take notice.

He raised his voice to cut her off "Kelly what is going on, who got robbed?"

"I'm sorry, I'm being stupid, I shouldn't have called you like this, "

Austin knew that Kelly was alot of things but stupid wasn't one of them. "Kelly dont hang up. What happened?"

There was a long pause, and he thought maybe she had hung up. Then he heard her voice it sounded small, and registered only barely above a whisper. "I came home and my apartment was destroyed, there is glass everywhere and I can't find anything. My lamps are all broken so I cant turn on the light-"

"Kelly you need to get out of there. The person could still be inside." He was dead serious.

"There is no one here. I live in a studio, I can see the entire place from the front door."

"What's your address? I'll be right there."

She paused again. "Really?" Her voice was tiny and weak. It made him want to run to her side.

"Of course. Now give me your address." She complied, rattling off a street name in a rather shady area. "Ok, now stay there, and try to stay calm. I'm on my way."

He grabbed his keys and ran out the door. He probably broke every traffic law there was and then some but he couldn't help himself. He knew that his need to help stemmed from his inability to help his sister when she needed him most. He tried to stifle it, but his latent protective instincts seemed to bubble to the surface where the rock rebels were concerned. First with Kaylie and now Kelly, to the world, they were these strong formidable athletes, but he knew that underneath the bluster they were still fragile young women, crushed between having a normal life and living up to almost impossible expectations. He was living the same struggle. Winning his first Olympic medal was the easy part, it was the follow up act that caused him to wake up in cold sweats in the middle of the night. Living up to the demands of this sport were hard enough, too many outside problems, like the ones Kelly seemed to be facing, and one had no choice but to crumble. He wouldn't let her, not if he had any say in it.

He pulled up in front of her building and cringed. It was all but falling down. When he got to her floor he could see the door knob was hanging on by a thread, and the place where the lock met the frame was sporting a cresent shaped hole. She would not be staying here tonight, or ever again, if he had anything to say about it. He knocked gently on the wood, calling her name, and was surprised when the door opened immediately, as if she had been standing on the other side waiting for him.

There were tracks of dried tears covering her cheeks. She also looked embarrassed, giving him a rather wane smile.

"You came." She sounded like a small child, sad and hopeful at the same time. It made him want to find whomever had done this and hurt them, badly. Since that was impossible for the moment, he would have to settle for comfort over vengence.

"You called, of course I came." He grabbed her by the arm and pulled her close into a tight placed her forehead in the hollow of his throat and breathed scent was comforting and his embrace was full of warmth. In that moment she felt like she could stay there in his arms forever. He felt safe.

When she had come home and found the ruins of what was once her apartment, her first thought had been to call Payson. She had the number halfway dialed, until she realized that she didn't want to face her even more now. There were very few numbers in her phone. She scrolled through until the list had restarted, with Austin. She pressed his name before she could think better of it, and was suprised when he picked up on the first ring.

Now he was here, and he was murmuring words of comfort into her hair, she didnt really care what he as saying, just that he was there. He pulled back to soon for her liking.

"Get you stuff, I'll help you pack." He said grabbing her overnight bag from Payson's and putting it on his shoulder. "Can you drive?"

She looked confused, "A bag? Drive."

"You cant stay here anymore. That lock it's busted, and this place is obviously not 'll stay with me." He said as though it was a forgone conclusion.

"No."

"No?"

"No."

"Pack a bag or I will take you with only the clothes you have on your back." He growled lowly.

Kelly narrowed her eyes. "I'm not helpless. I can take care of myself."

"I know that, but this isn't the time to be stubborn! You dont have to be ashamed to let someone help you. It doesnt make you weak or helpless. It makes you smart. I know you are independent. I know you can take care of yourself, but this is serious. This is no refection on your ability to take careof yourself. It's something that happened to you, but it is not your fault. Right now you need my help, so let me help you!" His eyes stared imploringly into hers. They stood there staring each other down for a solid minute.

Without breaking the eye contact Kelly said, "I'll get my stuff."

"Good," was Austin's solemn reply, before letting a smile creep up one side of his face. He leaned back putting some distance between them. "So can you drive?"

"I think I can manage." She said walking towards the far end of the tiny room.

He cringed as he finally took in the damage. The floor was covered in pieces of broken glass from the lamps and picture frames. The mattress had been flipped and torn, and didnt appear to have a frame. Did she sleep on just a mattress on the floor? The fold out table where he assumed she ate her meals was turned over and two of the legs were broken. He didn't see a T.V., but judging by the spartan furnishings there might not have been one. He doubted she had any renter's insurance, and he knew her pride would never let her accept his help putting this to rights. He would just have to be subtle about it.

She was digging frantically through the glass by the mantle. he saw her pick up a picture and slip it into her jacket pocket. She zipped up another duffel bag and threw her large satchel bag over her shoulder. He took the duffel from her hand.

"Is that it?"

"Yeah, that's all I need."

"Well, alright then." He put his hand on her shoulder, and guided her down the stairs to her car. Austin opened the door and placed all of the bags on the backseat. She was standing next to the driver side door motionless, he reached for her hand. "Hey, it's alright. You're safe now. And I promise we will fix this, ok?"

She looked at him, and the gratitude in her eyes made him feel oddly invincible.

"Thank you. I mean, that sounds so lame. This is so far beyond, I-I can't even…I just…thank you."

"You're welcome. Though I should warn you, when I assist any damsel in distress I require a full evaluation to be submitted after the event."

She cracked a smile and shifted her hand around in his so she could lace their fingers together.

"Perfect 10's across the board. Even the German judge liked your performance." Her words made Austin breathe an internal sigh of relief. If she was joking, then it was going to be alright.

He quipped, "Damn, I'm good. I always figured I would be, but it's nice to have irrefutable proof."

She smiled again. Much, much better.

"Follow me, try not to get lost."

The trip to his house didn't take long. Kelly used the time to think. She wasn't sorry that she called him, calling Austin just felt right. She didn't know why but he always seemed to be there when she was in trouble. That night on the roof in Rio after Carter ripped her heart out and stomped on it, in the coffee shop after her mother ripped out her heart and stomped on it, and then tonight when life ripped out her heart and stomped on it. He was her personal knight in shining armour.

Twenty minutes later they pulled up in front of what could only be called a mansion. She tried to hide her astonishment, she knew Austin had made out like a bandit after the Olympics but she had no idea that he had done this well.

"C'mon. I can give you the tour."

He led her into the kitchen, then walked into the pantry while she took a seat at the breakfast bar. He turned on the kettle and grabbed two mugs, filling them with cocca powder. He turned to her while he measured out the sugar.

"I apologize for my lack of sexy coffee drinks, hot chocolate is the best I can do, at least it is festive."

Kelly absently traced circles on the marble countertop, until he placed the steaming mug in front of her.

"Why are you helping me Austin? You could have called someone else after you found out, or taken me somewhere else, to a friends house, that is what most people would have done. So why am I here at your house, drinking hot chocolate. Why are you helping me?"

"You mean why I care so much... it's just... this being alone thing is something we share. The other people around us have support systems, Kaylie has her parents dysfunctional though they may be, and Payson has parents that would make the Cleavers jealous. Steve Tanner maybe dirty, but he does most of the dirt is done to make sure Lauren comes out on top, and Chloe Kmetko, well she would set the world on fire if it would help Emily. My family cares but they have so many problems of their own that they can't be bothered with mine. Everybody else, no matter how bad things get for them, they have family to fall back on, but not us; we just have ourselves. We are up on that high wire without the net to catch us. But we can do that for each other. You fall I'll be there to catch you. If you dont mind doing the same for me."

"What is it about this holiday that brings out the sentimentality in people." Kelly groused.

Austin smirked. "Well you just think about it. The offer is good, no expiration date. "He took a long gulp from his mug and then placed it in the sink, walking towards the doorway.

Kelly stood and followed him, before she passed through the doorway she stopped. "Dont worry, I would be doing the world a disservice if I let you smash that pretty head of yours on the ground, so I guess I would have to catch you too."

He smiled brightly at her words. "Ready for the tour?"

They walked down the hall and he pointed out some of the features of the house and important rooms. Once upstairs he led her to the spare room closest to his and placed her bag on the bed. Then he showed her where the bathroom was and left her there while he grabbed a towel from the closet. When he got back, she was grimacing at her reflection in the mirror.

"Here you go. Use as much hot water as you'd like. I'll be in my room, which is right down the hall. Just call if you need anything. Anything at all." He started to leave until he felt her grab his arm. Then they were hugging again, she was strong for such a tiny little thing.

She pulled back and looked up at him with a tremulous smile.

"Thank you again. I seriously dont know what I would have done without you."

"You would have been alright. You're made of tough stuff." He gave her a gentle smile. "But just because you can handle things alone, doesn't mean you have to. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere." Something about her sad eyes and fragile demeanor was bringing out the latent 'protective man' instinct in him.

"Ok. Anyway, thanks. I'm gonna go scrub at least the top three layers of my skin off." She wrapped her arms around herself while clutching the towel to her chest.

"You do that. Shampoo and conditioner are on the ledge, soap is in the holder. I'm sorry I don't have any body wash or something more feminine." He made a mental note to figure out what kind of bath products she used and pick some up just in case.

"That's fine. Soap's gender-neutral. Thanks."

He nodded and left her alone in the bathroom. Then he sat on the edge of his bed listening to the water run. He had a feeling she was probably crying in there, using the running water to muffle her sobs. The thought broke his heart a bit.

A while later, the water finally stopped. There was silence for a minute, then he heard the bathroom door open. Footsteps came down the hall and paused outside his room. He tensed, ready to jump up and help in whatever way she required, but then the footsteps continued on in the direction of her make-shift bedroom.

The house was silent for awhile. Austin knew because he stayed up listening. He tried to sleep, but part of him just couldn't stand the idea of not being there if she needed him. Around midnight he slipped out of his room and opened her door. She was asleep on top of the covers clutching the pillow to her chest as if it was another person. He grabbed the quilt that was thrown over the foot of the bed and placed it on top of her sleeping form. On a whim he leaned down and brushed his lips across her forehead.

"Merry Christmas Kelly."

He turned and left. Kelly stared at the door as it closed softly behind him.

So this chapter was Kelly/Austin centric. I got alot of requests for them so here you go hope you like it. Any other thoughts or suggestions are welcome. As always please Review Favorite and Follow (it's free and it's fun).


	13. Chapter 13

Ch.13

"I already told you and my parents, I really dont want to go to this party." Payson whined.

"And that is why you really need to go to this party." Kelly replied unpacking a slew of makeup and hair products from her bag.

The two girls had reconciled the day after Christmas. Kelly sent a text apologizing for how she left and Payson responded that there was nothing to apologize for, she knew how hard it was to watch things happening for others when you want them for yourself, even if that person is a friend. That was all that had been said on the matter, and then Kelly called her this morning to remind her of the party later that evening.

Payson had decided not to go, but Kelly wouldn't hear of it, saying they deserved a night completly devoted to fun. Now she was standing in her room holding a curling iron in her right hand in a semi threatning manner.

"But everyone will be there... he will be there, and I dont think I'm ready to face him. I just want to lay here in my bed until my flight leaves tomorrow."

"Get your ass up and stop moping. Sasha Belov is not the only man in the world. We are going to this party and we are going to have fun." She grabbed Payson's arm and pulled her out of the bed.

"Let me dress you."

"I'm not a doll, and the last time you dressed me for a party I ended up sleeping with Sasha."

"Corrolation does not imply causation. You did that all on your own. Don't blame my dress, my poor defiled dress." Kelly shook her head in mock sadness. "Get him out of your head. Tonight is about the new year and starting over and all that jazz. Tonight we are going to find you a sexy palette cleanser."

Payson wrinkled her brow. "You mean like sorbet?"

Kelly smiled."Exactly like sorbet. You need some sexual sorbet."

"You are ridiculous."

"That's why you love me." Kelly winked. "Now tell your little sister to get out of the bathroom so you can get ready."

"We probably should have one this at your house."

"Next time." Kelly pasted a hollow smile on her face. She breifly considered telling Payson about her knew living arrangments but quickly decided against it. There was just to much to explain.

Living with Austin wasnt as strange as she had initially thought it would be, over the past week they had grown somewhat accousomed to one another. There had been an initial learning curve but for the most part they worked well together. Three days ago she had discovered a library, Austin said it came with the house, already stocked. Since then, she'd spent her evenings curled up next to the fire reading, Austin had joined her on the second night and it had become their after dinner ritual. They didnt really talk during those times, it was just nice to have someone to sit with you.

* * *

Getting ready for the party didnt take that long, but they were the last ones to leave the house. Unlike Kelly, Payson decided to forgo a party dress this time and chose a pair of slim fitting black pants with riding boots, and a silky cream blouse. She twisted her hair up and Kelly added some jewelry. Around ten o'clock they were stepping out of Payson's new car headed to the front door of the Tanner residence. Warmth and the smell of holly greeted them as they handed over their coats to Consuela. The party appeared to be in full swing. Lauren was in the middle of the dance floor clinging to Carter, and the adults were enjoying themselves just as much. A group of Rock parents were standing around in a circle as Steve, with Summer by his side, regailed them with what appeared to be a very animated retelling of a case he had just won.

Emily found them first. "Hey you guys. I'm so glad you are here." She hugged them both, "Payson, Kaylie has been dying to see you. She is back here." She grabbed Payson's hand and led her further into the house. Kelly followed them at a slower pace. She stopped short when the reached a small alcove where two people were sitting. She'd stopped so suddenly because Kaylie was not alone. In fact she was practcally sitting on top of Austin, the two of them looked extremely cozy sandwiched together in the tight spot. Austin hadn't mentioned Kaylie since that day in the coffee shop and Kelly wanted to kick herself for forgetting, for however brief a time, that her roommate belonged to someone else. His eyes widened a bit when he saw Kelly they hadn't discussed how to deal with the outside world, in regars to their new living situation, so he was a bit nervous. She averted her eyes from his, and looked back to where Payson and Kaylie were hugging. After a short moment of surprise at seeing her with Payson, Kaylie leaned over to hug her as well. The sentiment was nice, but it rang false.

Lauren chose that moment to make her appearance, and Kelly began looking around the smiling group for an exit strategy. "You weren't invited Parker."

"Well it's not a party until somebody crashes." Kelly grabbed a glass from one of the roaming waiters and downed it in one gulp. It was going to be a long night.

Lauren opened her mouth no doubt to retort with something nasty, when Austin interrupted. ''So Kaylie has good news."

The group turned and looked expectantly, "I have been cleared to come back. I start training next Monday. I mean I've been conditioning with my dad and stuff at our gym at home, but I actually get to come back to the Rock on Monday.''

The group sans Kelly descended on her with squeals of joy. She didn't understand how they could be so happy that was one more person they now had to beat. She searched the immediate area with her eyes, and waved over another waiter, the glasses held watered down champagne. She raised it in a mock toast when the girls turned their attention back to her. Lauren looked smug and Payson looked slightly concerned.

Emily was the first to speak, ''That's a week before the national team practice. Are you going to try for the meet in Greece?" The concern evident in her voice. Finally someone who was thinking along the same lines as Kelly. Kaylie might have fallen, and she might not have made the Worlds team as a result, but she was the reigning National Champion, and therefore still a member of the National Team, and eligible to compete. If she was back, the commitee would take notice. There were only so many spots.

''No my focus is to get back in shape for Nationals I have a title to defend, and a World Champion to dethrone.'' She smirked good naturedly at Kelly and Payson.

''You can try.'' Payson answered for them both. She appeared genuinely happy to have Kaylie back, but Payson was just...good like that. She would never want to win at someone else's expense especially a friend.

Lauren joined them putting her arms around Kaylie and Payson. ''Its so nice to have the whole gang back together. The triple threat is back in effect...I'm sorry Em I mean the four musketeers after all you are a part of us will stop other people from trying to weasel their way into our group." She looked pointedly at Kelly. Her smile was all condesencion and fakeness. She was on Kaylie's side as long as it didn't effect her own standing. The minute it did, she would be the first one to try and take her down, by any means necessary. The hypocrisy of it all irked Kelly. Why play nice when you are prepared to fight dirty?

"On that note Kelly and I are going to go say hello to everyone else," Payson said. Moving away from Lauren and reaching out taking the other girl's arm. It was obvious that things were about to get nasty between her and Lauren, and they really didn't need a scene. They headed back towards the common area of the house.

"Let's dance." Kelly said as they made their way into the living room.

"No way K.P., you know I don't dance. Plus I've seen you dance, you don't dance either."

"We do tonight sweet cheeks, follow my lead." She seized Paysons hand and manuvered them to the center of the floor. The dance floor and decent musical selections were this party's only redeeming qualities in Kelly's eyes. She'd thought it was going to be a stuffy adult affair but it was actually rather lively. She wondered if maybe Lauren hired people to act as party guests, there was no way she knew this many people their age. She turned back to payson who was standing rather uncomfortably instead of dancing. "C'mon, it's almost a new year. Let's do something crazy, no regrets, live a little, seize the day. Take your pick of cliches, and act on one of them." She lifted Paysons arm and spun her around. "Personally I choose no regrets." She snagged another glass from a passing waiter.

"Keep that up, and you will regret the headache in the morning."

"I regret nothing." Kelly shouted over the music spinning in a circle with her arms raised.

Payson laughed at her friends exhuberance. They danced along with the music for awhile, with Kelly announcing that every song they played was her favorite song.

"You ladies seem to be having fun."

"Nicky!" Kelly greeted him. Nicky looked slightly confused by her happiness to see him."Look P.K., Nicky is here! Nicky, Payson is here."

"I see you're having a good time Kelly."

"I am, surprisingly, but I think I need something to drink. Why don't you keep Payson company." She smirked mischieviously.

"I'll go with you-"

"No no no, Nicky is here now. It would be rude to leave."

She leaned close to Paysons ear."There are more fish in the sea."

Stepping back she said to Nicky, "I leave her in your most capable hands, take care of my girl show her a good time." With that she flounced off towards the double doors leading to the patio.

Once she was outside she leaned against the cold bricks and allowed her smile to falter, pretending to be happy was alot of work. She knew Payson was faking it too, but she didnt want to be the first one to let the mask fall. It was 11:35, another hour or so, and they would be able to leave without drawing attention.

"I've been looking for you."

She groaned out loud. Would the torture never end. "Well you found me." She deadpanned.

"I just wanted to tell you that nothing has changed."

"So you mean I won't have to hide in the basement whenever Pinky comes over to spend quality time with you. What a relief." She still hadn't opened her eyes or changed her tone.

"That's not funny."

"Wasn't meant to be. You're back together now, and from the paniced look you sent me earlier, I assume you didn't tell her you had a new roommate." She wasn't sure where her anger was coming from, she'd already had this conversation with herself multiple times. Austin always had been, and always would be off limits. He never led her on or gave any indication that they were anything other than friends. If he was a doll he would be Friend Zone Austin, sold complete with a vintage motorcyle, and a hotter than you girlfriend.

"Nothing has changed. I still want you there when I get home everyday." Ah, there it was, this is how the lines grew so blurry. She chanced a glance up at him, his voice had been honest and his face was even more earnest. It made it complicated when he said things like that, or put her to bed after she fell asleep in the library. More so when they shared the paper over breakfast, or made a grocery list together, in those moments of simple domesticity she lost herself, even if only for a little while. But tonight had brought her crashing back into reality. Those moments weren't real for him, he probably thought of her a sister or even worse some sort of pet. It wasn't his fault that she was vulnerable and needy right now.

She pushed off the wall, "Don't worry I won't overstay my welcome." She walked off quickly to the other side of the house before he could stop her with more pretty words containing empty promises.

"Hope you weren't too uncomfortable in there Sasha. I know you and Sunmmer ended things on a rather ambiguous note. I'm sure you have noticed that we are back together, and happier than ever."

"Congratulations Steve." He coach's voice was ice cold, and Kelly peeked further around the corner, if Steve Tanner was about to get punched she wanted to see it. Sasha's face was stony and his eyes were flashing fire, but Steve Tanner pressed on anyway.

"Thank you." His grin was smarmy and he turned back towards the doors as if headed back inside. Before he got there he pivoted and spoke again, " I just wanted to say that you have been doing a phenomenal job with Lauren. I think she might like you more than me right now. I knew you would do well here at the Rock. Finding you was one of the best things I ever did, well other than asking Summer to marry me." He walked back and handed Sasha his glass, "This is the good stuff, consider it a consolation prize." He smirked one last time, "You take care Sasha, oh and uh, Happy New Year."

"I know you're there." Sasha said as he took a seat on a bench facing the door Steve had just closed.

Kelly contemplated turning around, but then as the saying goes misery loves company, and Sasha did look pretty damn miserable. She walked over and joined him on the bench.

"Men suck."

Sasha scoffed.

"Well sketchy Steve and asshole Austin at least. You're not so bad."

"Trying to make me feel better?" He took a deep swig from the glass and exhaled loudly.

"I wouldn't drink that if I were you. It's probably poisoned."

"There is no need."

"Your funeral. So, sleep with my friend to get over being dumped by your girlfriend?"

Sasha spat out the drink that he had just taken and started coughing violently. When he finally regained control of himself he turned and glared at her coldly. The effect was somewhat ruined by the lingering redness in his face from the coughing spell. "You should really learn how to use that filter between your mouth and your brain."

Kelly stared back at him steadily. He looked away first.

"You have no idea what you are talking about."

"I know my friend is hurting, and I know you did it."

He didn't meet her eye when he spoke. "Well she isn't the only one, and no Payson had nothing to do with Summer."

"Good."

They sat in silence for a minute, before he spoke again. "Payson is lucky to have you. I have noticed not just tonight that you bring out the best in each other."

Kelly smiled. He was right about that. "Thanks Coach."

She was about to say something else when the noise from inside cut her off. They both turned towards the large window.

"10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Happy New Year!"

They both looked at everyone smiling inside, most people were paired off. Kelly was having a hard time deciding which couple was assaulting her eyes the most. She came across Steve and Summer first; boring. Next to them, Chloe Kmetko was slobbering on Alex Cruz that was mildly interesting, and more than vaguely disturbing. Lauren and Carter were in a corner, and the sight made her grimace. The next couple she spotted turned her grimace into a wry smile. Payson and Nicky, she was smiling broadly, while he planted an awkward kiss on her cheek. She chanced a glance at the man next to her, but his face was stoic, unreadable. She had a feeling he had just witnessed the same thing she had, she looked back to her friend only to find that her view was impeded by two brunettes locked in a passionate embrace. The taller of the two raised his head; Austin. She felt her heart clench. Damnit she had already had this conversation with herself, she knew this day was coming. It had been inevitable, but it still hurt to have it thrown in her face though. She instantly regretted not bringing her own car, all she wanted was to get out of there. She needed to find Payson. She looked back to where she had seen her friend but she was gone. She turned to ask Sasha if he had seen which way she went but he was gone too.

* * *

Payson excused herself from Nicky. She had to find Sasha. The look on his face through the window made her feel sick. It was a mixture of hurt and resignation. She knew she should have stayed at home, coming to this party had bad idea written all over it. The sad thing was she had been having fun, right up until she saw Sasha. Kaylie's news had lifted her spirits immensely, Kelly's vivaciousness was contagious, and Nicky's unassuming prescence was comforting.

She walked quickly searching through the dense sea of people for a tall blonde. When she couldn't find him she walked outside to catch her breath. She looked up when she heard an engine roar to life. A large silver truck was trying to manuvere around two smaller cars that had it blocked in the driveway. She ran over to it and knocked on the window.

"Sasha wait."

He didnt acknowledge that he heard her at all. He reversed again and turned the wheel.

She stood back and crossed her arms. " It's not going to work," she called out loudly.

He hit the steering wheel in frustration before turning off the car and climbing out. He walked right past her, and she had to all but run to catch up to his much longer and faster strides.

"Wait, please can we talk?"

He kept walking until she grabbed his arm. He snatched it away roughly. and immediatly regretted it as a look of hurt crossed her face.

"Why are you so angry with me?" Her voice had a pleading edge to it.

"I'm not. Go back inside." His voice was gruff.

"It didnt mean anything, I swear. It was a mistake, and it will never happen again."

"It's fine Payson."

"No it's not and I'm sorry. I should have stopped him."

He looked down at her. She was stunning, tonight. It amazed him that one person could be so naturally beautiful. He focused on her eyes, there was so much depth to them. A myriad of shades of blue, grey and green, the kind of eyes that could make a man willingly surrender his soul. Eyes were pleading for him to believe her, begging for his forgivness. This was the problem, she hadn't done anything wrong. He had seen the boy kiss her it was sweet and innocent. There was no fault on either side. While it drove him spare with jealousy, she was doing exactly what a seventeen year old girl should be doing at a New Years Eve party. The problem was she felt as though she had to justify it to him. She felt as though she owed him something, when he had already ruined her life. He didn't want her to start feeling guilty about being normal. He owed her, not the other way around. He owed her the chance at a normal relationship. The relationship she would have had, had he not gotten in the way. A chance for her to experience a normal first love, the way it should be.

So he decided in that moment he would give it to her. She was so loyal to him, she would never give up this doomed farce on her own. She needed a push. It was something only he could give her. He would have to sever the tie completly, if he ever wanted her to have a chance to move on, and be normal. She would be hurt and their relationship would suffer, but she was so much like him he hoped she would let this fuel her gymnastics to be better.

The words he needed to say were stuck under the lump in his throat, but he pushed them out anyway. He silently thanked Kelly and Steve Tanner, for giving him something to work with, "I'm the one who is sorry. Earlier this evening, I realized that what happened with you was due to my sadness over losing Summer. Seeing her with Steve upset me. Honestly, I'm glad you have moved on, Russo is appropriate. It was foolish of both of us to think it was anything more than a mistake, a severe lapse in judgement on both sides. It didn't mean anything. I'm so sor-" His words were cut off by the slap. He should have expected that.

There were angry tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. He opened his mouth to speak again but the second slap cut him off. That he was not expecting, but it was no less than what he deserved for doing this to her.

"You're a liar Sasha Belov. Stop lying."

"I wish I were lying, but I'm not." He kept his voice firm but soft. He looked at her steadily willing her to believe him.

"You're a liar and a coward. Stop lying!" She balled up her fists and stomped her foot to emphasize her point. Her words hurt him deeply, firstly because they were true, but most of all because he could see the doubt starting to form behind her eyes. She didn't want to believe him but she couldn't be sure, She was at the edge, and just needed a nudge either way. He could apologize, and admit he was scared and it was all lies. She might hit him again, but he knew she would forgive him. He opened his mouth.

"You're a child." Just saying the words made him feel sick to his stomach. She may not have been a legal adult, but he had never seen her as a child. "I may have forgotten it momentarily, but it is abundantly clear to me now, name calling and tantrums." He shook his head in a condescending manner. "You're a little girl, and I am in love with someone else."

He didn't see it coming this time. Her right hook knocked him off balance. "Go to hell."

The unmitigated pain she infused within those three words made him instinctivly reach for her. She recoiled from him as if he slapped her, and his hand dropped back to his side, usless. He had chosen, and now so had she. Payson stared at the ground, and when she looked back at him there was a hard, cold glint lighting the fire that was now swirling in her eyes. As she raised her chin, she somehow managed to look down her nose at him although he stood almost a foot taller than her. "Goodnight Coach Belov."

With that parting shot, she walked back to the house with all the grace of a queen. She didn't look back once.

* * *

Author's note:

Don't be too angry please. Sasha is a martyr of the highest caliber. He would fight this thing with Payson tooth and nail. Sorry it took so long but this chapter had to be cut down alot due to Austin and Kelly, there was alot more of their time together at the house, their special evenings in the library and a really cute (to me at least) grocery list scene. Sometimes I feel like they are taking over and this is first and foremost a Payson/Sasha story. If anyone would like some deleted scenes, though, I would be happy to put them up! Just let me know.

As always please follow, favorite, and review. Feedback is always helpful. Special thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read and review. Each and every single one of you means the world to me.


	14. Chapter 14

He held his jaw as he watched her walk away, her back was rammrod straight. If Summer's God was real, and if his hell was a real place, then this act would push him to the front of the line. The things he had said earlier had been designed to play on every insecurity that Payson had, and he knew them all so well, it had been easy to do.

She didnt exactly fit in with her peers, so being a teenage girl she naturally thought them more mature than her. Instead she was simply years beyond them in every way. She viewed people like Summer, Kaylie or Lauren as her exact opposite, she thought that guys only liked girls like them. In her mind she was an athlete first and a woman last. She could never process the male attention she captured effortlessly, just by walking into a room. She was still so unaware of her true femininity, and the power she already held over men. It was sad really, that she couldnt see herself the way he saw her. Unbelievable, that she was unaware of her absolute perfection in his eyes.

He didnt know if he would ever recover from this night, but she would. The fire in her eyes right before she hit him, indicated that she would find a way to get past this, and that was all that mattered.

* * *

Payson stumbled blindly back into the Tanner residence, she found Kelly next to the back door. She motioned to the front door and Kelly nodded. She was glad they had been so late because her car wasnt blocked by anyone elses. The ride home was a silent one. Glaring at the road, she forced herself to hold back the tears. Keeping her mind blank was the only thing holding her swirling emotions at bay, refusing to allow them to fully form. She knew that if she felt anything, then she would have to feel everything and she couldn't handle that at all. A detatched numbness began to fill the growing void. She didnt even acknowledge Kelly when she said goodbye and went to her car instead of spending the night like they had agreed upon earlier.

Finally alone inside her room, Payson shut the door and leaned up against it with her eyes closed. She clung fiercely to her anger. Anger was safe, anger could be managed. He (she wouldn't even allow herself to think his name) had been cruel and petty. That was his m.o. If something made him feel to much he pulled away from it completly. He was the child, and an emotionally stunted one at that.

She realized that she was angry at herself as well. She had begun to believe, this story had a happy ending. Even though her logical mind knew how the real world worked, even after he told her it was over. She had believed he wanted her, that he wanted this. After his conflicting words and actions in the trailer, against all rationality, she had let herself hope, that one day... maybe...after the Olympics, there would be... more. She knew it would be impossible before then, but maybe afterwards, when it was all over, they would have a chance at something real. The feelings were there, the timing and circumstances were just wrong.

His actions tonight, disabused her of any happily ever after the Olympics notions she might have held. She had been silly and naive, and he had been cold and callous. There would be no happily ever after for them, not walking off into the sunset. Their minute was over. Fury outweighed the sadness that thought brought with it.

She opened her eyes, secure in her anger at him, only to have them fall on a gold medal hanging on a faded red ribbion. Just like that the soul crushing pain washed over her so quickly that it stole her very breath. Unbidden, the first tear fell. It was swiftly followed by many others and two seconds later she collapsed onto the floor in a heap of tears. It was a searing pain, a deep ache. She longed for the numbness she had felt on the ride home. She searched fruitlessly for the anger she had felt only moments ago, but all she could feel was the pain and a deep and abiding sense of loss. They had come so close, only to have him rip it away. The unfairness of it all only amplified the pain. She lay on the floor in front of her door and wept for all of the things that would never be, she wept for what she'd almost had.

* * *

Kelly shifted from foot to foot as she stood outside of the front door. She had been a bitch to Austin earlier, when he had done nothing to deserve it. Glancing at his motorcycle nervously, she cursed under her breath. She had hoped she would beat him home, and hide in her room, thereby putting this confrontation off until tomorrow at the earliest. Judging by the fact that his motorcycle was here and the lights were on, she was going to have to face him sooner rather than later. Bracing herself for what awaited her on the other side of the door she entered.

The downstairs lights were on but the house was silent. When she saw the light off in Austin's room she breathed out a sigh of relief. She'd dodged that bullet, at least for tonight. Breakfast would most likely be uncomfortable though. Deciding at the last minute not to go to her room, she headed instead to the library. It was quickly becoming her favorite place in the house.

She'd found out that his interior designer had chosen most of the books; the selection was quite varied as a result. There were of course the standard encyclopedias, dictionaries and thesauruses, found in all libraries along with a surprising number of comic books and cookbooks. He also had all of Shakespeares works and leatherbound copies of almost all the modern classics. He had a requisite sports section complete with autobiographies of legendary sports figures, including Sasha Belov.

It was on the second day that she found the true crime section, hidden at the bottom corner of the third shelf. Strange though it may be, she had a facination with things of that nature; an unyielding curiosity about the darker side of human nature. She didn't bother to turn on the overhead light. Instead she grabbed her book from the table where she had left it, turned on the reading lamp next to the couch in the sitting area and sat down.

"That book you're reading, it's a bit of a grim way to start off the new year. I have no idea what Nancy was thinking when she put it in here." A low voice murmured from the other side of the room.

"Jesus Christ!" She exclaimed her book fell onto the floor. "Why would you do that? Was it your goal to scare me to death?" She twisted the lamp head so that she could better make out his silohette. It was disconcerting talking to a disembodied voice.

"Seems to be a recurrng theme this evening or morning whatever." He leaned forward in the chair. In the darkness she had walked right past him. He placed his head in his hands and ran his fingers through his hair roughly. When he looked up she could see the weary lines etched into his face. Even though they had fought earlier, she knew that wasn't what put him in this state. He looked like someone had died.

"Austin," she said slowly, "What happ-"

He cut her off. "She left me."

It took her a moment to put the pieces together, "Kaylie?" She asked an incredulous edge to her voice.

He didnt respond but the didn't need too. "I thought everything was fine, I thought she was back. I thought we were back."

"I saw the two of you at midnight, you looked 'back' to me."

"Until I brought up the future and she shut down. I told her I could see myself with her forever."

Well that hurt more than it should, Kelly thought, but it was no less than she expected. In the time she had spent with him one thing was blatantly obvious, Austin Tucker was a good guy.

He continued. "She said it was to much to fast. She said she can't be with me because she isn't ready to seriously be with anyone again after Carter and the anorexia. She said she couldn't bear to lead me on, knowing that we want different things. Can you believe that? The first time I make a real commitment and she turned me down. Sad thing is I probably deserve it, for all the times I have done the same thing. I feel like such an idiot."

Kelly stood, crossed the room and perched on the arm of the chair where he was sitting. "You're not. She is." Placing both of her hands under his chin she brought his face level with hers. "We talked remember. You took a big step tonight and you should be proud. Just because she cant see what is in front of her, doesn't make you any less impressive. I mean look at me. I could still be sleeping on the floor in a shady apartment, but here I am with you. You took me in without a moments hesitation. That is a good guy." She looked at him dead in the eye. "You are a good guy."

Their faces were inches apart, and her heart was beating a mile a minute. His gaze was penetrating and for a moment he didn't say anything. How she wished they were sharing this moment under different circumstances, but if she hadn't accepted it before now, the previous conversation effectively crushed any budding romantic notions she had towards him. He loved Kaylie, he would wait for her.

"Thank you Kelly." He said before pulling away and leaning back into the chair.

"I fall; you catch. It's only fair that I return the favor." She got up and headed for the door.

"Kels?"

She turned around.

"That book you were reading earlier care to share?"

"Sure."

She went back over to the couch and picked it up off the floor to give to him.

"Would you mind reading it out loud? The other night when we were here and you were reading... I find your voice... you have a soothing voice."

And there it was again. That little tendril nestled deep in her chest, the emotion that she refused to name. It flared back to life as if it had never gone anywhere. "Yeah, I can do that."

* * *

So this is a short chapter. Sorry, but there is a Kelly/ Austin one shot going up right after this today, so check that out! Ch.15 should be up really soon it's almost done. It will be time to get back to the gymnastics and all the drama that comes with it.

As always please favorite follow and review.


	15. Chapter 15

Sasha was miserable. It was evident during their first practice back, that something was wrong. He was shorter and meaner than usual. At first Kelly thought it had something to do with the national team practice which was imminent. Every gym in the country with girls on the National Team would be feeling the strain, longer practices, perfecting every last move down to the fingertips. International invitationals were important. The were like mini World Championships. This particular meet would feature 12 countries but they would be knocked down to the top six by the first day. It was not an exaggeration to say that the world would be watching this meet, and Sasha had the reigning National Champion who was unable to compete, and the World Champion who had been off at a photo shoot for half the week. Needless to say he was feeling the pressure.

"Kelly, do you not recall what a proper handstand on the bars is supposed to look like it's twelve o clock, not ten, not eleven, but twelve. Get it there. Now."

"Emily, did someone put babyoil on the beam, because that is the only reason you should be able to fall off that much."

"Lauren it's a floor exercise not amateur night at a college bar, sell the sizzle, not the steak."

"Do you guys want to make this team or not. I'm not sure if you do perhaps you would rather be out with friends at the mall, or taking silly photographs in New York. Maybe none of you has what it takes to be champions."

No one was immune.

"Tucker, how did you win that gold medal again? If you had been competing against myself or even Marty Walsh we would have wiped the floor with that messy pommel horse routine. Do you want to be known as a one hit wonder?"

"Russo I'm starting to doubt why I let you back in the first place. You have about as much originality as an autotuned popstar."

Kelly was pissed. He was taking his anger out on them when the one person he wanted to be yelling at was in New York taking said fancy photos. Well today was the last day for that. She almost felt sorry for Payson. She was going to catch hell tomorrow, with only one day to prepare before the National Committee showed up.

At home, she and Austin commiserated over their growing hatred for all things Belov.

She gently lowered herself onto the sofa next to Austin, after another day spent in the ninth circle of hell. He placed her legs in his lap and held the ice pack against her ankle. "I swear the man has no compassion." She grumbled.

"He's a monster."

"I cant feel my... hell I cant feel my anything." She complained laying her head back, savoring the relief the ice was producing. "We should revolt."

"Declare a mutiny."

"Banish the Belov." They both laughed at Kelly's words

"I will be so glad wen Payson gets back. He is nicer when she is here." Austin paused for a moment and looked thoughtfully at Kelly. "You're friends with her, and you saw the picture of that kiss do you think..." He trailed off and raised his eyebrows.

Kelly paused she and Austin had grown incredibly close. She took a moment to consider the ramifications of telling him the truth. It would be nice to have someone else's opinion on the situation, to be honest she didn't know how she felt about it, it was weird. She knew Austin could be trusted he would keep any secrets she shared with him. On the other hand it would be a massive betrayal of Payson's confidence. "I think it is none of our business."

"You're right, but doesnt change the fact that we need her back to calm the beast."

"Amen to that."

* * *

Payson was miserable. She had tried to use this three day trip as a distraction from the unholy mess that her personal life had become, but halfway through the first day she had given that up as a lost cause. Everything had reminded her of Sasha.

It seemed like the more she tried to forget him, the more the universe shoved reminders of him down her throat. The very first day, one of the many overly helpful assistants brought her a coffee to start off the morning. The smell immediatly brought back all the mornings she had done the same thing for him. She threw it in the trash, and walked out of the dressing room. The day had gone downhill from there.

The shoot was done in an opulent hotel. The architecture was had a medieval feel to it, and there were gilded accents throughout. It was for a new his and hers fragrance, aptly named, Golden. She was shooting alongside a male tennis player named Eric Dalton. In his 2008 Olympic debut, he'd won silver in the men's singles final. He was tall, blonde, talented, and disgustingly handsome. Just like someone else she knew.

The last day had been a jewelry shoot. The staff spent two hours using warm wax to soften her hands, buffing the calluses from her palms and fingers, ripping the hair from arms, and polishing her nails to perfection. She modeled an array of rings, watches, and bracelets. The shoot itself hadn't taken long and M.J. had given her the rest of the day to go sight seeing, which wasn't much fun because she was alone. She bought a gelato from a street vendor and found a place to sit, and think, while basking in the ambiance of the city.

On the steps of the Metropolitan Museum she let her thoughts run rampant. She was three months shy of eighteen, and she had accomplished more than some people could ever hope to achieve in a lifetime. Granted, there had been many highs, and even more lows, the commonality between everything was that she always bounced back. She always came out on top. She knew that she owed alot of that success to her family and friends. Their love and unwavering support had buoyed her during her darkest hours, she owed them a debt that could ever be repaid.

A more recent, but no less important truth, was that Sasha was an integral part of that network. He had become a constant in her life. Her port during the storm, her rock. She leaned on him and drew strength from his indomitable nature. But it seemed that whenever a problem arose between them they ran away, it was a flaw that they both shared.

It was strange for her, because she knew she was the type of person to face problems and challenges head on. But something about Sasha Belov scared the shit out of her. It wasnt so much him as it was the thought of losing him. He had become so important so quickly, that the thought of her life, without him in it in some capacity, was inconceivable.

She thought back to what Kelly said on Christmas Eve. He was trying to protect her, probably from himself. Which was stupid, if anything he needed to protection from her. The discovery of their past intimacies would be far more damaging to him than her. The problem lay in the fact that there was no forcing Sasha to do anything once he'd made up his mind, and he'd made up his mind to end this.

It was probably for the best. Her focus needed to be on the Olympics, not some impossible romance. She and her parents had sacrificed so much for this dream, she couldn't falter now. Everything was on the line. Success was the only option. She had earned this. She would put him out of her mind and focus solely on gymnastics.

She stood up and headed back to her hotel to pack. Tomorrow she would face her problems, and come out on top.

* * *

Sasha hurried from his trailer around five forty the next morning. He was late. He wanted to have the gym already opened by five thirty because Payson was back, and he was avoiding her. If he could leave the front door open, and make it to his office, before she got there, then they wouldn't have to interact until there were many other gymnasts present to act as a buffer. Hell she probably didn't want to talk to him anyway, after the way they left things. Hopefully she would be with Kelly, and they could keep each other entertained.

What he didnt expect to see was Ellen Beals leaning up against the building. He cursed ever deity known to man, as he made his way over and started unlocking the door. He kept his back to her but she spoke anyway.

"Good Morning Belov."

"Ellen. We weren't expecting you until tomorrow, with the rest of the national committee. To what do we owe this visit?"

"I stopped by all of the gyms that have girls on the National Team. Thought I'd save the...well you, for last. Some interested parties have concerns about the...impartiality of your coaching abilities. I mean you coach five members of the womens national team. We at the NGO want to make sure that none of our athletes needs are being neglected." Her lips curled up a cross between a smirk and a sneer.

"Is that so?" He asked his tone dangerously low. This woman was a serious piece of work.

"It is." She lifted her lips again and this time he was certain it was a sneer. "You needn't worry. I'm just here to observe. Marty will be along shortly to keep me occupied."

"Marty has his own gym to run."

"The National Team takes precedence. And since he no longer has any team members to train, thanks to you, his presence is required here."

Two cars pulled up almost simultaneously. He glanced back and saw Austin and Kelly get out and share a laugh at something only to stop short when their eyes found Beals.

"Kelly." Beals said in what she probably thought was a warm voice, instead it reeked of sarcasm and thinly veiled scorn. "I spoke with your mother earlier this week. How's the ankle?" She asked with faux concern.

"Never better."

"I look forward to seeing what you have to offer to the team today." When Kelly didnt respond she turned her gaze to Austin. "Ah, Mr. Tucker, early for practice. It is nice to see you actually taking things seriously for once."

Austin rolled his eyes, and walked through the now open door followed by Kelly. Sasha inwardly smirked at the affronted look on Ellen's face. "After you," he gestured towards the entrance. she brushed past him, slammed through the double doors, and headed to the far side of the gym.

Sasha glanced back to the parking lot. There were no other cars pulling up, he told himself he wasn't looking for anyone in particular but he stood there in the doorway longer than he should have. After about five minutes of not waiting, he shut the door and headed into the gym. Beals couldn't be trusted alone with his gymnasts for much longer.

He could feel the frost in the air when he entered. It was as though everyone had chosen their battle stations. Ellen was standing on the far side of the floor, while Austin and Kelly warmed the on opposite side of the gym. The two groups were as far apart as the space would allow.

"Kelly when you finish warming up and Amanda gets here, I want to see you perfecting that anamar. Austin I want you up on the rings." He called.

Kelly nodded and Austin gave him a mock salute. He headed up the stairs to his office. sitting down behind the desk, he shifted aimlessly through a stack of papers. Telling himself he was just edgy because Beals was there breathing down his neck, not because a certain pint sized blonde would be returning today. He had steadfastly avoided thinking about her for the past three days. Instead throwing himself into readying his other gymnasts.

The morning wore on and Sasha didnt leave his office until nearly eight oclock; the official start of practice. She still wasn't there. He was about to call his gymnasts over and give the instructions for the morning when the door slammed open. He turned, expecting to see a harried Payson rushing in, only to find Marty instead, He did not look happy. He watched as the slightly older man marched over to Beals and furiously whispered something to her, then they both walked out the double doors.

Most of the gymnasts had stopped working, whispering about the unfolding confrontation.

"Back to work." He called, as he followed the duo into the outer chamber. He heard low harsh voices coming from the direction of the hallway, near the locker rooms. As he made his way towards them, he caught whisps of the heated conversation.

"I'm not some dog at your beck and call. Why are we here?"

"I'm here to make sure that you put an end to this." Beals hissed.

"An end to what?"

"Over inflated d.o.d.s, reckless endangerment of children, the rampant favoritism that has been shown here."

"There is no favoritism. I have trained all of these girls and not just as the National Team coach. They are on the team because they deserve it."

"Oh please! They are on the team because they have made spectacle of themselves and a mockery of the NGO. They dont play by the rules. Rules that we have for a reason. For example why is Payson Keeler's degree of difficulty on the beam higher than Lauren Tanner's. She is not even a contender in the event, but because of the way that this gym has been run, some of these girls think they can just do whatever they want. It takes away from the other girls with an actual chance to medal. Girls who have been fighting just as hard, who work just as hard, only to watch as their dream is handed to someone else. It is blatant favoritism. As the National Team coach I expect you fix this."

"Payson's d.o.d.s are that high on every event because she is the World Champion."

Beals scoffed. "She is a one hit wonder. We both know that was a fluke. The judges were wowed by her "miraculous comeback", and it was obviously reflected in their scoring. But that time is over. we need to focus on the girls who can actually deliver on a consistent basis, not over indulged brats with propensities toward injuries."

"I will put the best girls on the team we take to Greece."

"Then we both want the same thing. I dont have to be you enemy Marty. Work with me. Lauren Tanner and Andrea Conway, those should be our all around girls. Power and fire, and above all consistency, everything that is great about USA gymnastics"

"Everyone will be where they deserve to be, every spot on that team, will be earned."

"I'm here to make sure of that."

Sasha ducked behind the trophy case as the duo made their way back into the gym. Damnit this was what he had been trying to avoid. Granted he knew that Ellen Beals was simply a spiteful woman, it didnt change the fact that people were already judging Payson through her association with him. He was hurting her gymnastics, killing her dream.

He looked up sharply at a loud bang from the locker room door. Payson. Her face was emotionless, but there was a tight set to her jaw. She'd heard the conversation as well. This was not what she needed right before a national team practice. Her confidence was shaken.

"Pay-"

She sped by him without looking, as if he hadn't spoken. He swiped his hand down the front of his face. Today was going to be one of those days.

* * *

It was a disaster. Practice hadn't gone any better than he expected. Marty tried to help, but It seemed as though Beal's presence alone was enough to throw the girls off their game. Kelly sat down on almost every vault, and Emily still couldn't stay on the beam or the bars. Payson and Lauren had done surprisingly well. Though the former hadn't said more than two words to anyone for the entirety of practice. It was only five thirty and the gym was empty.

He was sitting at his desk, looking absently through the window at the darkened gym. Tomorrow would be even more important now.

"Thought I might find your ugly mug in here."

He looked up, and made a face at Marty's intrusion.

"Well, it is my office, and my gym, So I should be here. Can't say the same about you."

"Hey, I did not orchestrate this. She blindsided me with a voicemail saying the NGO required me here a day early."

"That woman, and I use the term loosely, has some serious issues."

"She's gunning for Payson and Emily. She wants them out."

"I know."

"I'll do what I can."

"I know."

"So how is...that with Payson? Things seemed a bit...chilly between you two."

"Complete understatment."

Marty raised his eyebrows, waiting for an explanation.

"No I don't care to share. What are we women." Sasha rolled his eyes.

"Is it anything I need to worry about?"

"You saw her today. She's angry but fine, gymnastics wise."

"You know as well as I do that these girls, especially these girls, have a habit of letting their personal lives affect their performance. For better or for worse."

"Not Payson, the sport comes first to her."

"I hope so. All we need is some sort of meltdown in front of the National Committee tomorrow."

"Payson will be fine. All of them will be fine."

"From your mouth to God's ears. Now lets get out of here. Watching you stare at an empty gym is just to depressing for me."

* * *

"I should have been a cheerleader." Kelly moaned, putting her head down on the table while she, Payson, and Kaylie waited for Lauren and Emily to come back with their order.

"Ellen Beals is a grade a bitch. I think she was actually trying to make me fall off the beam. She physically hit it."

"She asked me if I really needed to be there just to run conditioning exercises." Kaylie grumbled.

"That woman is fifty shades of fucked up," came a new voice, a male voice. "Mind if we join in the Beals bashing."

Max smiled down at them. Standing next to him was an uncomfortable looking Austin.

Everyone's eyes turned to Kaylie. It seemed as though Max was the only one unaware of the awkwardness.

"The more the merrier." Their attention turned to Lauren who had chosen that moment to return with Emily to the table. Carter, the idiot who had spoken, was standing behind them with a wary looking Nicky Russo.

"Great. Lets grab some chairs." Max said.

Kelly sank further into her seat. She knew coming out with them had been a bad idea, but it was nice to feel like part of the group. However this was shaping up to be a massive failure of epic proportions.

She squeezed closer to Payson as Austin placed his chair next to hers. Yes this was going to blow up in her face. Wiping her sweaty palms on her yoga pants, she took a deep breath to calm her racing heart. She looked around the table. Lauren was sharing her smoothie with Carter. Gross, who knew where either of their mouths had been. Payson was staring off in to the middle distance deep in thought, completely oblivious to Nicky who was throwing furtive glances across the table in her direction. Austin and Kaylie where looking everywhere but at each other. Tense didnt even begin to describe the atmosphere for the majority of the table.

Max was asking Emily a question about a selection on the menu, to which she shrugged, before looking up and addressing the table, "So what's good here?"

"Strawberry kiwi-"

"Strawberry kiwi-"

She glanced to her right again to find Austin smirking at her.

"Get out of my head Kels."

She smiled back. "Get some original ideas then." Austin's smile had a way of making her feel better.

Carter took the guy's orders and he and Max headed to the counter.

"Kels?"

They both looked away from each other, to see a scowling Lauren looking suspiciously between the two of them.

Austin recovered first. "That is her name."

"No, her name is Kelly, or Parker, or Satan, but not Kels.'' She turned the full force of her glare to Kelly. "Why are you here again?"

"I was invited."

"Oh that's right. Kaylie thought you could use some support, after you bombed at practice and probably screwed your chances of going to Greece."

"Lauren-" Kaylie started.

"What it's true. She spent more time falling than she did on her feet."

"At least I fall at practice and not competitions."

"We'll see. You're a has been that never was, Kels. Today should have proven that to you, if not tomorrow will." Her tone reeked of condescension.

"We all had a rough day I'm sure everyone will do better tomorrow. We all deserve to go to Greece." Emily interjected diplomatically.

"Some of us do. Ms. Beals knows who will win gold and who will choke. She told me herself."

"Ellen Beals, is a conniving, manipulative, low down liar, and you are just like her."

Everyone was stared at Payson as she stood up and walked briskly from the table. Kelly jumped up to follow her. She caught her arm just outside the door.

"Hey, thanks for the support and all but Lauren Tanner's pitiful threats are a non issue, on my worst day I could break her spirit with one sentence. Your mother doesnt love you. Bam fight over."

"It's not right! People shouldnt just be able to say whatever they want about people and get away with it! People need to stop being so hateful and cruel and petty and vindictive..." She watched with growing concern as Payson tried to reign in her now labored breathing, but it was getting out of control.

Kelly wrapped her arms around her. The blonde was shaking. "Hey calm down. What is happening here, this is more than just Lauren being Lauren?"

Payson tried to pull away but Kelly held tighter. She finally relented an collapsed into the brunette embrace. "It's over it's over it's over. And it's over for nothing, because they still hate me, I'm still not good enough, and it has nothing to do with him, it's me I'm not good enough."

"I'm going to need more nouns and verbs, but that is a start." The joke fell flat. As the other girl started sobbing in earnest. Kelly led the further into the parking lot away from prying eyes. "Honey why dont you think your good enough? You rocked practice today. You're the reigning World Champion, from one World Champion to another, that makes you good enough."

"Beals told Marty-"

"Ellen Beals is a bitter old woman who survives by crushing the dreams of young gymnasts, or living vicariously through them. I know because I have been on both sides. Anything she says, is to one of those ends."

"She told Marty the only reason I'm anything is because Sasha favors me and I cant be sure that she is wrong. What if it's true? When Marty coached me I was number two, always number two. And now, what if it is a fluke? What if I dont live up to the hype. What if it could have been anyone in my position had they gotten the same attention from Sasha that I did?"

"Look, just because Sasha likes to munch you cookies from time to time, doesnt make you any less talented. We have gone one and two for the past four years. Sasha had nothing to do with that. You had been breathing down my neck since Junior Nationals, years before you even met him. Sasha had nothing to do with that, Marty had nothing to do with that. You did that all on your own. Your talent got you here. And it will take you all the way dont doubt it."

"Oh Kelly. It hurts so bad.I miss him, and it hurts. He hurt me." Her voice came out in a broken whisper.

"And it is his loss, you're better off without him." Kelly's voice was firm.

"I love him."

"Oh baby."

"I love him, Kelly."

"It will work itself out. I promise. Shh dont cry. Please dont cry." Kelly kept murmuring comforting words to the blonde haired girl but it only seemed to make her cry harder. She felt a tap on her shoulder and turned.

"I've got her." A crisp British voice said. He slid his arm in between them and pulled Payson into his chest. She pushed back against him.

"Come here love. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

His scent enveloped her. She let herself be lulled by the words, and the comfort of his familiarity. She wanted so badly to believe again, but she had been burned by false hope before, false hope in this man. She snatched away from him. "No. No. Stay away from me."

"Payson, please let me-"

"I dont need or want your apologies. You made yourself perfectly clear." She turned to Kelly. " Tell Lo I'm sorry." Spinning on her heel she headed to her car. Kelly stood next to Sasha as they both watched her drive away. Kelly opened her mouth when a strained voice cut through the night. They both spun at the sound.

"Anyone care to tell me what that was all about?"


	16. Chapter 16

They turned around and looked into the stunned face of Emily Kmetko, who was standing slightly behind the person who had just spoken, and equally stunned Austin. He was staring at Kelly and his eyes had a hard, discerning edge to them. Her heart lurched in her chest. She couldnt tear her gaze away from his, she only hoped her eyes didnt give away to much. He looked away first, but she didnt like the flash of understanding that crossed his features prior to him doing so.

Emily's eyes were swinging back and forth between Kelly and Sasha. "Lauren is getting ready to declare war, or cry. Probably both."

"I couldn't give a rats ass about Laurens intentions or her feelings." Kelly muttered.

"Agreed. Now what is wrong with Payson?"

"Practice was rough today, for everyone.'' Kelly said with a non chalant shrug of her shoulders.

"Payson did fine at practice, better than any of us. That cant be it. Something else is going on," Emily responded.

Kelly wanted to scream in frustration, couldnt she just let it go. "People get upset, they blow off steam, it's completely normal. Payson is fine." She glanced at Sasha for help. Why didnt he pull rank and end this inquisition; send them all home to rest, or back inside. He was just standing there staring blankly at the two gymnasts before him. She was on her own.

"Beals. It wasnt the routines that got to her upset, it was Beals."

"She said something." Emily concluded. "That woman I swear, I still have no idea what we did to make her hate us so much." Kelly let out a sigh of internal relief, and congratulated herself for averting a near disaster. Emily seemed to have accepted her explanation. She was shaking her head at the absurdity that was Ellen Beals.

"She said something about you two, didnt she?" Kelly looked up to see that Austin wasn't addressing her, he'd turned his penetrating gaze onto Sasha. She wanted to throw up her hands and groan in defeat. Great time to get your Sherlock on Austin. He didnt stop there. "That's why she is so upset with you specifically, and that is why you look like your dog died." His voice didnt hold the reverence it usually did when he addressed his coach.

All of the color drained from Emily's face. "Oh my God. Is this about that picture again?" Her voice took on a hysterical edge. "Are you leaving? Is that why Payson was so upset? You cant leave Sasha."

"No, it's not and no I'm not." Sasha answered. He focused solely on Emily. "Beals thinks I favor her, to your detriment. Do you? Has my interest in her had a negative effect on your gymnastics?"

Emily looked down and took a deep breath, Kelly saw Sasha flinch. She wished she had been close enough to slam her hand over the girl's mouth and answer for her when Emily began to speak, "When I moved to Boulder it was to train with Marty. You dont know this, but he walked into the YMCA out of nowhere and told me I was good, but I had the potential to be great. He said I could be an Olympian. No one had ever told me I could be anything, let alone great, but he believed in me.

So I packed up, moved here, competed and cracked the top three. I thought that was the height of my success, being number three at The Rock, just getting to compete on the same floor as Payson Keeler or Kelly Parker at Nationals. Then Marty left, and everything fell apart again. I know now that he left rather than changing my ranking, but back then I didnt. I just saw the dream slipping away.

Next, you came, and basically told me I was nowhere near as good as I thought I was; you said I lacked discipline, that I was uncoachable. And then, you kicked me out of the gym."

"Emily I-" Kelly started.

"No let me finish. He asked me a question, and I intend to answer it."

She turned back to Sasha. "You kicked me out of the gym, told me my dream was over. Then you procceeded to allow me to break into the gym every single night and train. You could have put a stop to it the very first night, called the cops, but you didnt, you gave me another chance. Was that favoritism?"

Sasha shook his head once.

"No. Then the night before the China meet after I'd blown what should have been my last chance you put on an apron and bussed tables with me so that I could get home at a decent hour. Was that favoritism? I won two individual medals, against one of the strongest teams in the world. Did I win those medals because you favored me?"

"You earned them."

"Exactly. You give us the tools, and we use them. You have this amazing capacity to give all of yourself, to each and every last one of us. You know exactly what we need to succeed, and you make sure we have it. You go above and beyond just being our coach. You did it for me, and you did it for Payson. Ellen Beals doesnt get it, because she has never cared about anyone other than herself. You, you care about everyone but yourself.

Marty may have thought I was good, that I could be great one day, but you made me great. Today I am great. I'm the third best gymnast in the world because of you.

You and Payson both taught me that it is okay to trust, To trust other people, and myself. So trust me when I say this, you couldn't favor one of us if you tried. It's not in your nature."

Sasha swallowed harshly. "You truly believe that."

Emily smiled. "I know it, and so does Payson. She'll come around."

"Well, that was touching. I especially like the part where I was simply a preview, to the Sasha Belov Show, that was great for me." Emily tensed, but Kelly heard the teasing lilt in Marty's voice.

"Would it make you feel better to know that you are the Sasha Belov in my life, my hero, the wind beneath my wings?" Kelly joked.

"Can I get top billing when you thank your coaches in any future speeches?"

"Done."

"Alright then I'm good. Although, I'm still a little confused." He addressed Sasha. "I asked you to get us a table, while I parked the car. Why am I a last minute guest on the Oprah show?"

"Payson and Lauren had a fight, and Ellen Beals is a massive bitch who screws with everyone's head, including coaches." Kelly answered for Sasha.

"Right, so just your average Thursday night in Boulder."

"Precicely."

"Wait did you say Lauren was inside." Marty questioned.

"Yes."

"And Payson was here." It was a statement not a question.

"Yes."

"O.K. No offense, but I think we might need to go somewhere with an age limit. Preferably 21 and older." He glanced at Sasha. "You look like you need more than a Spruce Juice anyway."

"Yeah mate, and Emily, thank you." He nodded to Kelly and Austin, and walked away.

"Well ladies, Tucker, this has been fun. Dont stay out to late. Make good choices. I'll see you guys tomorrow morning ten oclock sharp." He said backing off in the same direction as Sasha.

"Ten? Practice starts at eight." Kelly called.

"And I will get there at ten, ask Tucker, he can explain it to you."

"Nevermind, be safe."

Marty saluted and Kelly smiled. If she ever had a brother she would want him to be just like Marty. She had only been half joking when she said he was the Sasha Belov of her life. He had been there for her in ways that no other coach could manage, she thought of him as a close confidant and quasi friend. If it had not been for the strangle hold her mother had over Denver Elite, she never would have left him. He understood that.

When she turned back to the resturant her smile remained. Emily looked quite pleased with herself as well, the two girls shared a smile before Emily spoke, "I'm going back in are you guys coming?"

"Give us a minute." Austin said. He had been so quiet during the latter part of the exchange she had almost forgotten he was still standing there.

"Yeah see you inside." She echoed.

Austin waited for the door to shut before he turned his full attention back to Kelly. "Well you tied that up with a nice, neat, little bow. You were like a grand master, placing the pieces where you want them to go, anticipating their reactions three moves in advance. That little show you conducted was very convincing, I almost let myself believe it."

"What are you talking about I didnt do anything. There was no show."

He kept talking as though she hadnt spoken. "You see, the part you couldnt smoke and mirror away, was the part where I was standing here long before Emily."

"How long?"

"From...what was that colorful turn of phrase you used...oh right. 'So what if Sasha likes to munch your cookies from time to time.' Now, call it a hunch, and please corrrect me if I am wrong, but I dont think Betty Crocker or Duncan Hines had anything to do with the cookies you were talking about. If I had any doubt, the fact that she was sitting there crying, about loving him would have been a dead giveaway. So dont try to handle me. I want to the truth, and I want it now. Is she in trouble? Did he hurt her?"

"No. They are both hurting, but no one is in trouble. They're in love, which is so much worse."

"How the hell did that happen?"

"I have no idea." She gave him a side long glance, he was staring at the sky with his hands in his pocket. "We cant control who we fall in love with, the heart wants what the heart wants."

"Tell me about it."

"It's getting late, I think I'm going to head home."

He walked her to her car, and opened the door, "Yeah I'll see you there, and we will finish this conversation.''

"Looking forward to it." She grumbled, before he closed it behind her.

* * *

Practice the next day was tense. Everyone had something to prove. The gym was alot quieter, with only twelve girls, six committe members and one coach present. Anyone not on the national team had the day off.

Kelly was determined to redeem herself from yesterday's abysmal showing. She and Austin spent a good portion of the night talking, he took her revelations and withholdings in stride. He wouldnt be writing Payson or Sasha any sonnets, but he didnt seem nearly as thrown as she had been initially.

She watched Emily run through her bars routine. The words she said to Sasha seemed to have had an effect on her as well. The girl had her game face on.

She wasnt the only one. Lauren was on the floor. She was giving the show of her life, and it was still just practice time. It caused Kelly physical pain to admit that the girl had hit her stride lately. She shuddered at the thought and moved to stand next to Payson. They watched Andrea Conway land a near flawless Produnova...three times in a row. It seemed like The Rock Rebels werent the only ones bringing their A game today.

"What the hell are they putting in the water in Boston?"

"I don't know but I want some." Payson grumbled.

Kelly turned to face Payson. "Are you sure you are ok? After everything...last night? If you need to talk-"

"No, I dont want to talk about it. It's over. I'm over it. I'm going to get on every apparatus, and Im going to nail every routine and I am going to shove them down Ellen Beal's and Sasha Belov's throats. You, you are going to get on every apparatus and nail every routine, and shove it down your mother's and the national committee's throats. All of our problems will still be waiting for us after we make onto the team headed for Greece. What we do in these next few hours, that is all that matters. Are you with me?"

"Over a cliff."

"Then lets go show them that it takes more than some fancy vaults, to dominate this gym."

"Agreed."

* * *

"Good morning ladies." Marcus Mcgowan stood in the center of the floor next to Marty. "That concludes practice, now the selection will begin. The committee, myself, and Coach Walsh, will be observing you individually on each event. I hope you all have been working hard. We look forward to seeing the fruits of that labor. First up we have Payson Keeler, on the beam.

Payson took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. She stepped up to the beam and immediatly pressed into her handstand. When she performed her switch ring leap into a sissone, Kelly actually heard one of the members of the committee comment on its effortless elegance.

After the dismount Payson let her self acknowlwdge the group. Mcgowan was smiling from ear to ear, and Ellen Beals was seething. Payson held her eye for a long moment before smiling and moving out of the way for the next girl.

* * *

" Ms. Parker, we are ready for you. Your final vault please."

Kelly walked to the end of the runway. She was feeling confident. Her routines had gone extremley well, there was a step on her bars dismount but otherwise everything had been solid.

She was the last gymnast of the day and then the committee would deliberate. She was 76 feet, a round off, and 2 and a half twists away, from making the team and proving everyone who counted her out after Worlds wrong. She tightened her fists and released. Raising up on her toes she took off down the runway. She felt her hands hit the crest of the vaulting table. One rotation and then another, half a turn later she dug her toes into the mat and held on for dear life.

She stood tall and saluted. It was over and she knew she'd done it. The committee huddled up and started disscussing their options. She was mid internal fist pump when she felt the twinge. She sat down and gentley rubbed her ankle.

Payson casually made her way over, she leaned down in the pantomime of a hug, "Kelly that was great." In a softer voice she whispered, "How bad is it?"

"It's not bad, I think I can get up."

"Just sit here, and look normal, I'll go get the tape."

Kelly looked over to the group that held her future in their hands. Ellen Beals was saying something and using lots of gestures towards her clip board, Kelly was glad her attention was elsewhere. Payson returned applied the bandage and tape tightly to her ankle.

"Let's get you up before they notice, here," She linked their arms and took the brunt of Kelly's weight, "Smile and lean on me." Payson manuvered them so that Kelly was between Emily and herself.

They all stood in silence as they watched Marty writing on his clipboard, while the committee nodded. Ellen Beals didnt look happy so that could only mean good things for them.

"As you know, this particular competition utilizes six member teams, which allows us to showcase more of what USA gymnastics has to offer. That being said, Coach Walsh will announce the members of the National Team that will be going to Greece."

"The team we will be taking to Greece is as follows: number one and team captain, Payson Keeler, Andrea Conway, Wendy Capshaw, Lauren Tanner, Kelly Parker, and Reagan Brown. The first alternate is Emily Kmetko; the second alternate is Tessa Collins. Ladies thank you for your time. We wish we could take all of you."

* * *

"Payson can I speak with you for a moment."

"Sure, Mr. Mcgowan."

"I just wanted to congratulate you on everything, you have accomplished. I was just speaking with my colleauges and we are more than thrilled with what you are doing for American Gymnastics. Everyone will be looking to you as the leader in Greece. You are the face Team USA now, make us proud."

"I'll do my best."

"Then you will be great."

He walked behind her, "Emily you were great today, it was so close with you and Tessa, better luck next time, work on that beam and your floor. Ms. Parker, congratulations and welcome back." He greeted warmly.

They came to a stop in front of Payson. "So we are all going to Greece, we made it."

"That we did." Payson said.

"Alternate is better than staying home."

"We could always take out Lauren." Kelly offered

"Unfortunatly the team needs her on beam." Emily sighed. "Apparently I'm usless there."

"Want to go grab a bite and discuss our secret pain?"

"Not the Spruce Juice." Payson said shrugging on her jacket.

"And no pizza. I have to be at work in two hours." Emily chimed.

"You guys are really severly limiting our options. This is Boulder pickings are already slim."

The three girls linked arms and left the gym.

* * *

I cant believe the response this story has gotten! I'm at almost 100 reviews, and humbled beyond belief by all of you. From the bottom of my heart thank you all so much. There are some of you who review every chapter and I look forward to each one everytime. A special thank you to maroneyairlines who gave me the routines that I will be using throughout the story.

Next up Greece

There will be a Kelstin oneshot of the second pt of the conversation going up soon.


	17. Chapter 17

ch 17.

"You were robbed." Kelly said to Emily as she slammed her glass of water down on the table.

"I did my best, but I was off on my beam, and my vault is nothing special."

"But your bars and floor were phenomenal, and lets be honest the only reason they are taking some girls just for one event. you are an all around contender, you should have been there. I'm still saying I could take out Lauren and make it an accident, just say the word."

"And I will be, cheering you guys on from the sidelines. Dont worry there will be other competitions and we still have another Nationals and Worlds, before the Olympics."

"Em is right, she's saving herself for the big comps." Payson smiled kindly at the other girl.

"Exactly." Emily sipped her water, it was all she'd ordered since she wouldnt be staying long. "So are you and Sasha ok now?"

Payson glass stopped midway to her mouth.

Kelly took that moment ot jump in, "Forget Sasha. Did you see how upset Beals was after the announcement, Classic."

Payson shot her a grateful look.

Emily smirked, "Puce is really her color."

They spent the next half hour laughing and planning things to do in Greece.

"Hate to eat and run, but I have to get to work."

"You're a World All Around bronze medalist, you should demand more money from the NGO, or get some sponsors. Gymnastics is your job now." Kelly said.

"I thought about it, but I'm keeping my options open for college."

"Ugh. You're so practical."

"Some of us have to be," she said standing up and putting on her jacket. "I'll see you guys tomorrow."

Once she was gone Kelly dropped the smile that had been pasted on her face.

"So how are you really doing?"

"It doesnt matter."

"It matters to me, how are you?" She reached across the table for the blonde girls hand.

Payson pulled away and leaned back in her chair, ''What do you want me to say? I love him, but I cant have him so I'm not going to waste my time pining. I did that already and look where it got me. So I'm taking his advice and yours and moving the hell on. I can be happy without Sasha Belov."

"It's ok to be sad. Its ok to pine for awhile, I wont judge. We can eat ice cream and watch really sad movies-"

"No!" Kelly was taken aback by the vehemance in Payson's voice. The second part was spoken softer, "I dont want to do any of that, I just want to forget, everything."

"Sometimes it helps to talk to someone, about the good times."

"You were the one who told me to move on, remember New Years, and Nicky."

"That was before I knew you loved Sasha, I mean I should have realized it but I didnt. I hve really been off my game lately, but that is not the point, I thought he was just a random hookup, a mistake. I thought you were taking a walk on the wild side, letting out some repressed urges. And that was ok. Everybody has a mistake or two in their past.

With those, you have to just pull yourself together, and move the hell on with your life." She leaned closer and placed her hand over the sullen blonde girl's. "But love, you dont get over love like that, a random hook up yes, but lost love takes time. You have to face it to get over it."

She watched as Payson practically deflated, "What might fix you, won't fix me. I cant do it right now. I literally cant. If I let my emotions take over, for even a second, I dont know if I'll ever be able to come back. This, moving on, it is all I can do to keep myself going."

Kelly sat back and really looked at the other girl. She looked drained. Dark circles stained the delicate skin under her eyes, adding sorrow to her already weary countance. This entire affair had obviously taken it's toll on her physically as well as emotionally. Maybe now wasn't the time to force her to face her feelings.

"So Russo," Kelly exhaled.

"It's nothing. I'm not looking for anything even remotely close to that."

"The question is, is he?''

Payson just shrugged her shoulders, and looked down at her cup.

Kelly shook her head to herself. The girl was in a serious case of denial, about Sasha and about Nicky. But she could understand why, sometimes it was better to feel nothing, than open yourself up to something you knew would be painful. Denial was the cushion you used to keep the fall from hurting as much, the life preserver that kept you afloat when you were adrift in a sea of unending pain.

She personally used anger, if she was hurting she lashed out at any and everyone. It seemed as though Payson had chosen denial. It was because she was guilty of the same thing, hiding behind defense mechanisms instead of putting on her big girl pants and facing the music, that she knew how bad Payson was going to feel in the end. She knew how hard this was going to hit her, when she actually let herself admit what had happened. She didnt know when that would be, but she would be there for her friend when this flimsy fascade she had constructed came crashing down.

* * *

Two weeks later, and the day before they left for Greece, Sasha stood on the podium next to Marty and assessed his girls. Lauren had been nailing everything, the walk was finally starting to live up to the talk. Emily was working as hard as he'd ever seen her work, even though she was only going as an alternate. Kelly's performances had an underlying fire that he had never seen from her before, he knew she was talented but this past week he'd seen a hunger, the hunger that every champion needed. And then there was Payson, she was all precision and grace. He almost wished she'd stayed a power gymnast. When she spent everyday emphasizing her beauty and femininity the way he'd taught her, well, it made coaching her pure tourture. Not that she knew that. She acted as though they were strangers on a good day, and on others it was as though he did not exist. She'd mastered the art of looking through him.

He'd observed in silent condemnation as her relationship with the Russo kid began to blossom. The day after the National Team selection he'd walked into the gym to find the boy spotting her on the bars. Then they'd moved onto the floor, where she observed him and critiqued his performance. It'd been the same every morning since, there was nothing overt, a few smiles on her part but the masochistic side of him wondered if something had changed in their relationship. The young man was much too attentive. He spent more time working with Payson on perfecting her routines, than he did his own. Which was a problem seeing as how he would be competing with the Men's National Team in another two weeks.

He watched as the boy watched Payson perform for him. The look in his eyes could only be described as longing, and his eyes lingered to long, in the wrong places, for Sasha's liking, "Mr. Russo, I'm not sure what impressions you are under, but I am the only person here that is paid to coach. So unless you are thinking of making a switch to Womens Gymnastics, I suggest you get back to your side of the gym, now."

He watched as the boy dropped his head, and made to leave. He also watched as Payson jumped down from the beam and and ran to his side, she said something that made him smile before he jogged off. She lifted her eyes and met his gaze, she wasnt looking through him now, her glare intensified and then her face went blank. She climbed back onto the beam and picked up her routine where she left off, effectively dismissing him.

"Actually I'm also paid to coach, in case you forgot." Marty said.

"Then you should have said something. There is no fraternazation allowed."

"First of all, you don't have a leg to stand on with regards to that issue. Secondly, that's a Rock rule, not a National Team rule. Lastly I'm not here to referee your relationship problems. I'm here to coach, I named you my assistant coach as a courtesy."

Sasha rolled his eyes, "From my understanding it was Ellen Beals or myself, if you are unsatisfied with my performance I could always step down."

Marty held up his clipboard and smiled,"Let's not make any rash decisions. I'm happy to have you Belov."

Sasha smirked, and looked back at towards the floor.

While the other girls, even Emily, had been upping their game in preperation for Greece, Payson seemed almost disintrested. Yes she still came to practice early, and yes she still worked hard, but, she had lost the fire that he so loved about her. Her routines were techincally sound, in the fact that she performed each move and didnt fall, but there was nothing else there, no emotion behind her eyes. He didnt know if the others could see it, but it was obvious to him, the love was gone, in more ways than one.

He remembered a day late last, week when he tried to pull it out of her. He was her coach, and it was his job to get her ready. It hadnt gone well and he'd felt even worse about himself, and the situation, afterwards.

* * *

*******Flashback

"Again, Payson" Sasha called without so much as looking up.

"Yes, coach." Her voice was monotone and she didnt even look in his direction. He hated when she called him coach and not Sasha, but it was the only way she had addressed him since the debacle outside the resturant. Coach this and coach that, and that was only when she acknowledged him at all, which was becoming a bit of a rarity. If he spoke to her she would respond; yes coach, sure coach, or fine coach; but she never initiated their exchanges. They could go entire practices without crossing paths.

He watched her first tumbling pass on the floor. She ran and then twisted and turned effortlessly through the air, but her face was listless.

"Stop. Do it again, Payson ."

"Yes, coach."

She went back to the center of the mat and began again, still the performance was lacking any emotion.

"Stop. Do it again, Payson"

"Yes, coach."

Her blase attitude was really grating on his nerves. He almost wished she would be just outright defiant. At least give him something to work with, something to push back against but instead she was completely closed off where he was concerned. The only person he had seen her smile for lately had been the Russo boy.

He'd gotten his wish that morning. She was on her fifth run through of her floor, at his request, when she cracked, and thrown up her hands, "What I am doing wrong?" She demanded.

"Everything. Do it again."

She huffed back to the center of the mat and began again. She'd just completed her tumbling pass and started her second dance element when he walked onto the floor. "Enough!" He invaded her personal space leaning down close, "What is wrong with you? Do you even care at all?"

She didnt answer or look at him, just started down at the floor.

He moved back to the side, "Start over."

She didnt move.

"Did you hear me? I said, start over."

"I dont know what you want from me!" She screamed, drawing the attention of most of the gym.

He didnt let that stop him. "What do I want? I want the routine done right." He walked back onto the floor but didnt lower his voice, let them look, "I want it all, I want everything!"

She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, "I already gave you everything I have to give," Her voice was quiet yet harsh and the words cut him to his very soul. The second part was spoken so low he had to strain to here it even though she was standing right in front of him. "There is nothing left. I have nothing left." She turned and walked away.

And damn it all he couldnt think of a good enough reason to follow.

End flashback****

* * *

That was the last time she had spoken to him beyond the obligatory yes coach, and he hadnt pushed for more. He'd know that morning afterwards, in Rio, that she would eventually come to hate him, to blame him. Now that the day had come to pass he couldnt fault her, he would just have to take it.

Marty cleared his throat, "Your attention please." Everyone stopped. "If you are a member of the Womens National Team, that will be going to Greece, practice is over for the day." He looked down into the surprised and confused eyes of his gymnasts. "I want all of you to go home or back to your hotel, and get plenty of rest before tomorrow."

It was Lauren who spoke up, "I need to work on my vault if Conway has a Produnova, which she barely does, I have to beat her."

"You can try Tanner, but all the practice in the world wont help you beat me. It's never going to happen." Andrea called from the back of the group.

"You could always fall."

"With my d.o.d alone, I'd still beat you."

"Lauren, your vault is as good as it is going to get, tamper with it anymore and you risk messing it up. Not to mention Andrea is you teammate." Marty interjected.

"Well, we all know how she feels about those," chimed Kelly.

Lauren turned to her left where Kelly stood, "That's rich coming from you, I seem to recall-"

"Ladies, enough. This, is why practice is over. You have all worked hard, and you are tired, mentally and physically. Take the rest of the day to relax and decompress. I will see you back here at nine a.m. sharp. The bus leaves at nine thirty, our flight leaves at twelve thirty p.m. See you then."

That said, Sasha watched Payson grab her bag and head to the locker room. How could no one else think it was strange that she didnt object to practice being cut short? The other National Team members followed suit and soon he was left staring at an empty gym.

* * *

The flight had been a long one, crossing over nine time zones was never easy. After the seventeen hour flight, which included two layovers, they arrived at Athens International Airport Eleftherios Venizelos.

It felt as though everyone had planned their flights to arrive at the same time. They had seen two other teams when they reached the baggage claim, the Japanese and the Romanians. The person she hadnt expected to see was M.J., typing away on her phone with one hand, as she adjusted her sunglasses.

"Payson, love, I'm so glad you made it safely. We have alot to talk about."

"M.J? Where did you come from? What are you doing here?"

"I just got in from London, and I'm your agent, I'll be there whenever you compete at a major event. It's in my job description." She linked her arm through Payson's. "For you every competition is a marketing opprotunity and I am here to help you capitalize on that. Not to mention this isn't just any competition, the eight best teams in the sport are about to take center stage. The world, not to mention sponsors galore will be watching. They are calling it an Olympic preview."

"It's not that big of deal."

"Not for you of course. You are the World Champion, the favorite."

Payson offered her a wane smile.

"However we have other things to discuss, first of all, your room at the Royal Olympic Hotel, excellent choice by the way, has been comped and upgraded by one of your sponsors."

"I didnt think that was allowed."

"Your Mr. Mcgowan agreed, he seems quite fond of you. He is very easy to work with, media friendly even."

"O.K. so I have a bigger room, that seems like something you could have told me over the phone." She actually glad for the accomadation change, alone time had been her best friend as of late. It meant she didnt have to put on a brave face for people. She'd been dreading rooming with Kelly, and having the snarky brunnette tip toe around on eggshells trying to make sure not to say anything that might upset her.

"That brings me to the other reason I am here. Now, I know how you hate them, but there is a social event tonight in the ballroom at your hotel. I need you in tip-top shape. Scrubbed, plucked and painted to perfection, so I am here to see that it is done, and done properly."

"Why?" She hated that her voice had a whiny tinge to it, but the last thing Payson wanted was to spend the day at some salon, being poked and prodded.

"I have it on good authority that reps from Calvin Klein and Ralph Lauren will be there, and they are interested in you."

Payson stared blankly.

"As in we want those campaigns."

"Dont we have enough sponsorships."

"My dear, there are never enough. This window will only be opened to you for a finite amount of time. We need to make the most of it."

"Marty is going to blow a gasket."

"He said he thought it would be good for you. The competition doesnt start until the day after tomorrow. He can give you one afternoon off to be pampered."

Four hours later, Payson sat on the enormous bed in her panoramic suite over looking the acropolis. M.J. left her there with strict instructions to be at least thirty minutes late. That was not a problem, she wanted to be so late that she missed the whole damn thing. She currently dealingwith the fallout from The last time she attended an event like this. She didnt even want to imagine the horrors that tonight might hold.

She ran her hands down the side of the dress. It was a floor length silk masterpiece in a golden champagne color, M.J. said it would subconciously remind everyone of her accomplishments. It was backless with a deep sweetheart neckline and a split that rose to mid thigh.

Her hair had been curled and pinned to the side in a carefully crafted messy bun, with a few curls left out to frame her face. The makeup artist had taken thirty minutes to enhance her features. He told her the key was to highlight not over power and he had done a wonderful job.

Objectively she knew she looked good, but she didnt feel good. Everything felt hollow. Almost like she was an observer to the events of her life.

Her phone beeped with a text from M.J. telling her to come down.

When Payson reached the banquet hall she stopped to take it all in, the hall itself was beautiful. The decor was a combination of various shades of greens, blues and gold. The sea of black suits and dresses most of the attendees wore highlighted the golden color of her dress. As her eyes found M.J.'s she watched her agent smile triumphantly. She directed the attention of the people she was talking to towards Payson and then excused her self from the conversation.

Payson's eyes landed on Kelly. She was standing next to Austin holding a red rose that matched her dress, and smiling up at him, there was no mistaking the adoration in her eyes and the tenderness in his. Had she been so self involved that she missed that development? She headed towards them only to be intercepted by M.J.

"I think you look even more fabulous than you did when I left you. Those were the reps from Calvin. We need to let them see you shine." She didnt wait for a response, grabbing Paysons arm and directing her away from the two brunnettes. "This way, I need to give you the lay of the land. Follow me and smile pretty."

"Can I have a moment to speak to my friends?"

"There will be time for that later. You do realize this is essentially a business meeting?"

"Yeah I think you have made yourself pretty clear."

"Then lets take care of business first, pleasure later."

The unintended innuendo made her grimace. There would be no pleasure taken in this night.

She listened half heartedly as M.J. rattled off the people around them and their credentials, she smiled in the appropriate places and shook every hand offered. As M.J. stepped off to the side to discuss something with one of them, Payson made a beeline for Kelly. She was standing with Austin and Marty and they were laughing at something.

She was almost there when Sasha walked up and joined the laughing threesome. She stopped dead in her tracks, his back was to her and she didnt think he'd even noticed her. Kelly sent her an apologetic look, she was turning around to head back to M.J. when a woman brushed past her, and tapped Sasha on the shoulder. He turned and looked directly at Payson as if she had somehow tapped him from three feet away.

"Alexandru Belov, as I live and breathe." Her sultry accented voice crooned in a low tone but payson was close enough to hear every word.

"Anica, it's been to long." His gaze released hers and traveled down to the woman who had actually touched him.

Payson stood frozen watching the interaction. They were obviously quite familiar with one another.

"You look well." The woman continued

"Likewise. What are you doing here?"

"Same as you, coaching."

"Romania, then."

"There is no other option. Introduce me to your little friends."

"I'm sure they need no introduction. You know Marty Walsh. The others are Ms. Kelly Parker, and-"

"Austin Tucker, the reigning gold medalist, you, I do know. Some say you are almost as good as my Sandu."

"Lies." Sasha shot back.

She wanted the woman to turn around so she could put a face with the alluring voice and glossy hair. When she turned slightly to the side, exposing her profile, Payson immediatly wished she hadnt. Beautiful was an understatment, captivating might have been a better word. She had jet black hair that hung in waves down her back, and tanned skin. Her features were delicate, her dark eyes, and she had a slim build. It was her expression that really drove the point home. She wasnt looking at Sasha so much as she was devouring him with her eyes, and he was looking right back, head cocked to the side, smirk firmly in place. It was like a punch to the gut.

"Payson what happened I thought you were right behind me." M.J. said stopped right in front of her and placed her hand on the girls shoulder. Her arrival caused the everyone in the other group to focus their attention on the two of them. M.J. was unaware because her back was turned. "Hello earth to Payson. Did you get lost?" When she didnt recieve an answer she turned and followed her clients line of sight.

"Anica Moldoveanu. How lovely to see you. What on earth are you doing here?"

"Well it is a gymnastics event and I am a gymnast."

"Former. Retired."

"I am the new coach. I have Sandu's old job, bringing glory back to our country starting with this competition."

"Good luck with that."

Payson's curiousity was peaked. There seemed to be bad blood between the two women, if their tone was anything to go by, "I'm sorry but, who are you?"

"I am Anica Moldoveanu, and you are Payson Keeler. Some say, you are the best gymnast in the world." Her smile was one step short of patronizing.

"She is the World Champion, I think the title speaks for itself." MJ asserted.

"Yet, we change World Champions almost every year. So how much weight can the title hold." She stepped away from Sasha and closer to Payson. "That is a very lovely dress for a little girl. I have seen your pictures in many magazines, you are a celebrity now, no?"

"I'm a gymnast first."

"But of course." This time there was no doubting her patronizing tone.

"I'm sorry," everyone turned to look at Kelly after she spoke, "We know your name, but we still dont know who you are?''

''I was a Romanian gymnast, back when the mere mention of the Romanian team, could strike fear and trembling into the hearts of gymnasts around the world. Sandu and I trained at the same time."

"Ah, so forever ago then." Kelly smiled sweetly.

"Sasha competed for England." Payson said, ignoring the man in question, as her turned to look at her.

Anica placed her had on his chest, in what could only be described as a possessive manner."But he is Romanian, born and raised. He trained in Romania. We were competing around the same time, he was my shining star and then he left me."

"Why?" Austin asked.

Four glares of equal measure focused on him, as he looked adorably confused. Anica and M.J. glared at each other, but no one answered, until M.J. finally smirked. "No one is really quite sure. England happened, fame happened, I happened. Then there were actresses, models, and even a few popstars. He really was a bad boy."

Sasha looked distinctly uncomfortable, if the way he was pulling on his tie was any indication. Marty looked almost gleeful, biting his lip as he smirked at the floor. Austin was stunned and Kelly looked slightly horrified.

Payson couldn't speak, she was afaird that if she opened her mouth she might be sick. It hurt more than it should, hearing about his past. Afterall when this happened she was barely eight years old. She knew he had a past, everyone did. Even though the world of elite gymnastics spanned the globe, it was still like a small town. Everybody knew everybody's business, gossip seemed to transend language and cultural barriers. It hurt because she'd never stopped to think what she would do when he decided to move on. She'd spent all of her time worrying about herself, and trying to forget him, that she never gave any consideration to how she would feel if he moved on and forgot her first. Men like Sasha didnt stay single for long. Now the evidence of that fact was standing right in front of her, looking effortlessly gorgeous, clinging to his side, and calling her a little day there would be someone else, and what the hell was she going to do then?

"It's been lovely catching up, but Payson and I have far more important things to worry about, Calvin and Ralph await." Payson cast one more look at the group, and then let MJ lead her away.

* * *

Thank you for reading. Dont forget to review, favorite, and follow.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Sasha closed his eyes and leaned fully against the column. That couldnt have gone any worse if he'd tried. He'd been watching her the whole night as M.J. paraded her around. When he saw her headed towards Marty and Kelly he'd made an attempt to intercept her in a group setting.

His heart leapt in his chest when he thought she was the one who tapped him. Maybe she wanted to clear the air before the meet, so that she could be at her best. Turning around to find Anica had been a complete surprise. The complete and utter unravaling of the situation once MJ arrived had not been. If ever there were two women who had mastered the art of veiled contempt and simmering rage, dressed up in air kisses and empty smiles, it was them. He was just sorry Payson got caught in the crossfire.

"I'm tall, blond, and I like to lean against things while contemplating the difficulties of dating to many beautiful women."

"Go away, I'm not in the mood."

"What the hell was that?"

"Karma."

"I'd almost forgotten how you were back then, a string of different women, breaking hearts left and right. Remember the time those two girls got in a fight over you. It was in the middle of that meet in Japan. Authorities were called."

"Thank you for the history lesson. Now please go away."

"I said that to say this, you were horrible, a first class asshole, and you only became worse when you blew out your knee."

"Well I feel much better now, thanks for the talk."

"Let me finish, you were all of those things and more, but you're not anymore. We were kids back then with too much talent and too much money. You dont have to let your past define you. That guy grew up, hell we both did. Your former 'friends' might not see it but I do," he paused, "So does Payson."

"Did you see her face she doesnt want anything to do with me, and that is probably for the best."

"What I saw was emotion, and that means she still cares." He clasped the blonde mans shoulder, "Give her time, Payson has always been that way, she just needs time."

Sasha nodded and Marty left.

He didn't say it but he thought maybe his time had run out.

* * *

It was the qualifying round. They would be in the second group of four teams to compete. Four other teams including Romania and Russia had competed earlier that morning. The final scores from those countries would be revealed after this round was tallied.

Kelly was nervous, not for herself but for Payson. First of all, she was late and when she finally did arrive, five minutes before roll call, it was in sweats with her hair not finished and no makeup applied. She shared a look with Marty. She watched him walk over to Sasha and exchange a few words.

She looked back at her friend, it was the first time she had seen her since the social. The next day when the rest of the team had gone sight seeing Payson was not there and neither was Sasha. When she had gone to Payson's room after they'd gotten back there had been no answer at the door. A part of her had hoped the two of them were somewhere settling their issues, but that did not seem to have taken place.

Kelly didnt see her until practice that afternoon. She'd seemed...off. They had a limited amount of time to practice due to having to share with eight other teams but Payson only did one run through on each apparatus. She was shaky and that was never good especially the day before a major competition. She left without speaking to anyone.

Now it was time to compete, and it looked as though her friend had chosen the absolute worst time to fall to pieces. Payson hurriedly changed her clothes and threw her hair into a ponytail, before Marty called them over.

"This morning the competition starts. It is going to be a grueling week, with four straight days of competition. The mental toughness and physical stamina needed to excel at such a task, will show us who has what it takes to be on next years Olympic team. We believe in each and every one of you, you wouldnt be here if we didnt.

As always the qualifying round is crucial. The field is already narrowed down to the top eight teams, so only four teams will advance to tomorrow's team final. The two per country, per event rule, is no longer in play. If you have one of the top eight scores in any category, you will compete in the all around or that event finals. Let that motivate you. There is no longer anything to hold you back. If you are the best you will get the recognition you deserve. Now, I believe we can go one, two, three on every event here.

We are the best team in the world, I know it and they know it. Right now in their team huddles, their only goal is to knock you off that pedestal. Dont let them. Show them why we are the best. I want you to set the bar so high today as a team, that they don't even want to show up tomorrow."

Everyone was nodding along as Marty spoke, "Let's go out there and show them why we dominate this sport. Are you ready?"

"Yes, Marty!" They chorused in unison.

"Then lets go!"

They entered the arena and headed to their first rotation beam. Tessa was up first and Marty watched as the score got progressively higher for each girl. The rule change really seemed to be helping them for the better. When you no longer had to worry about being edged out by a teammates performance it was easier to cheer for them.

He was always amazed how these girls could fight like cats and dogs but then pull it together and be there for each other when it really counted. When Payson saluted and walked over to the beam he held his breath.

She steadied her hands over the beam, closed her eyes and pressed into the handstand. She made it through the first back hand spring layout layout series with only a minor balance check. Marty let himself breathe a little easier as the routine progressed. The rhythm was a bit off but there were no major mistakes. She finished with a small step on the landing.

It wasnt perfect but neither was it a disaster. Sasha's jaw was tight but he did not say anything. As the score, of 15.683 posted he saw she was two hundredths ahead Kelly, who had gone before her. Lauren was preparing to perform, barring any major mistakes from her, it was almost guaranteed Payson would finish in the second spot out of the Americans alone. With three more teams to come, all of them with at least one phenomenal beamer, he didnt know if the score would be enough to get her into the event finals.

He was right Laurens score was a full three tenths higher than Payson's. He checked her face to see her reaction but it was blank. They gathered their things, lined up, and moved onto vault. As a team this was one of their best events. He was sure that with Andrea's Produnova and Kelly's nearly flawless Anamar no team would come close to touching them on vault.

As the rankings stood now after the first rotation, they led by eight tenths of a point. Great Britian was in second followed by China and Italy. He expected those rankings to change as the Chinese were headed to the beam and Italy was on bars. He was so wrapped up in his own thoughts, he didnt think to break up the conversation that was going on at the back of the line.

"So Lauren I hope you've enjoyed your time in the spotlight. My vault is about to blow that silly beam routine right out of the water." Andrea Conway whispered loudly from the backof the line.

"Only if you land it."

"No worries. I heard you were training the Produnova for awhile there, but couldnt quite get it, I'm sure you cant wait to see how it is done."

"Once again you are completely misinformed. I decided against the Produnova ages ago. I've been training or rather hitting a triple twisting yurchenko."

Wendy Capshaw turned around and looked at Lauren with wide innocent eyes, "You can do a triple twist?"

Lauren smirked, "Ten times better than her sloppy ass Produnova. I can do it on the vault with my eyes closed, and it might even become my new beam dismount. Unlike you I am a true All Around contender."

"If you can do a triple, then why are you competing a double?" Wendy asked.

"I'm saving it for event finals." Lauren said smugly.

"Enough chit chat ladies you need to stay focused." Marty called as they arrived at the vault .

They stopped talking and turned their attention to Marty. No one saw Wendy narrow her eyes at the back of the blondes head.

The line up for vault differed significantly from their beam. Payson was the second person to go followed by Wendy and then Lauren. Kelly and Andrea with their respective Anamar and Produnova held the coveted last positions.

Sasha watched as the gymnast from Texas Reagan Brown put up a solid score and then it was Payson's turn. When he saw her hands leave table he knew it was going to be a struggle. Her legs were together but as she came around for the landing her ankles crossed slightly, they were still crossed when her feet hit the mat. She stumbled but pulled it together managing to stay on her feet. There would be huge deductions, and they would probably have to drop her score. The shocked gasps from her teammates and the crowd said it all.

She stood up straight and saluted before going to stand by Marty and await her score, a 14.925.

Andrea walked over to Lauren. "Sucks that the competition is pretty much over for you."

"What are you on about? Payson fell, not me."

"But check the scoreboard." They looked over together. "One of the Chinese girls is already outscored you on beam, and their best, havent even gone yet. Not to mention the Romainians and the-"

"Get to your point."

"I already made it. Aside from adding your paltry scores to the teams tomorrow," she paused, "This competition is over for you."

"I'm sorry, but are we even at the same meet. This is still the qualifying round, and there are two rotations left."

Andrea scoffed. "Do you really think you stand a chance of medaling on bars or floor, your weakest events."

Lauren looked back at the scoreboard. Her heart sank. Her name was in second place with four of the worlds best beamers still to come, not to mention the unknown scores. Her chances were dwindling.

Wendy came to stand next to the two after her vault while she awaited the score. Wendy kept a low profile and a sweet smile at all times. If people over looked you they underestimated you. It was easier that way.

She was a snake in the grass waiting patiently for the opprotune moment to strike. She might not be familiar with these girls on a personal level, but she did know people. Lauren Tanner was narssicitic to a fault, and so predictable it almost took the fun out of it. She had limited time so she needed to work fast. "I guess it's a good thing you have that triple twist in your back pocket. I just wish Sasha and Marty trusted you enough to do it this round. Without Payson's scores we might not even make the team finals. How sad." Then she perked up, "I guess we should be happy for our team mates though, I mean, they're just better than us, right. We're lucky to even be on the same team as them. Like Payson, even though she didnt do so hot on beam or vault, no one is going to care. She is still the favorite on bars and floor, and she'll probably wipe the floor with all of there's Andrea, she has the best vault in the world. No way she doesnt make the finals. They'll live to compete another day. The two of us and Reagan, well, I guess we're just here for the food."

"Speak for yourself."Lauren spat.

Wendy turned and walked away. Her work was done, all she had to do was sit back and watch the blonde self destruct. Andrea joined her and smiled, "That was good, I couldnt have done it any better myself."

Wendy cut her eyes to the side. Andrea Conway was the superstar of their home gym, she had never so much as glanced in Wendy's direction before, it was an added bonus if destroying Lauren and the others ingratiated her to the brunette. "What can I say? There are one to many Rock girls on this team."

Andrea cocked her head to the side. "Not for long though."

"Truer words."

Andrea eyed the smaller girl. They had been at the same gym for years, but this was was Wendy's first year as a senior. Noone really knew anything about her. At practice she was quiet, hovering around the fringes of the different social groups, at Boston Elite. Andrea had been to busy with her own friends and life to really pay the mousy girl any attention. She would not make that mistake again, allies were always useful. She held out her hand. "Nice to finally meet you, Wendy."

"Likewise, Andrea."

They smiled, turned and looked at the fiasco about to unfold.

* * *

Lauren walked to the end of the runway. She almost felt sorry for the annoying little girl. 'They are just better than us. We're lucky to even be on the same team.' That sort of attitude showed that she had yet to learn the truth. Gymnastics was first and foremost an individual sport. Who cared about the team as long as you made it.

Andrea Conway had been a complete nobody before she came out of nowhere and landed one silly vault. Now everyone treated her like she was the second coming, there to save them all. And Payson, ugh, did they not see that she had bombed that beam routine? The one that was two advanced for her anyway. Then she nearly fell on the vault. She was singlehandly going to cost them the meet! Still, people thought she was better. Why was it always about Payson? Payson Payson Payson. No matter how bad she messed up she still came first, everyone came before Lauren. Not anymore. She would prove to them she was the best.

She squared her shoulders and took off down the runway. She was going to nail this and then they would all be thanking her for saving the day. She could feel the power building as she ran, today would be the last time that she was ever going to be an afterthought. Unbridled jealousy propelled her. Blind hatred powered her every step.

Her feet hit the springboard with too much power, she tried to catch herself and reign it back in but her fingers barely grazed the vaulting table. Her body wanted to do the double it knew what it was supposed to do but she didnt have the height to complete the second rotation. Her legs crossed as she tried to save the landing it was an utter fail. She glimpsed the vault sitting there taunting her before she fell face first. It was instinct to put her arm out and break her fall, intense pain radiated from her elbow.

The tears burned the backs of her eyes but she held it in stood up and saluted. Sasha came to stand next to her. "I messed up I know."

"Are you alright?" He didnt sound angry like she thought he would.

"My head wasn't in the right place. It wont happen again."

"That is not what I meant and you know it. I saw your face when you hit the mat, is it your ankle or your shoulder."

"Elbow but it is nothing. I'm fine."

"You have bars next, an injury to your elbow is not fine." He called Marty and the medic over. They stood back and let the woman examine the injury.

"It's probably just a slight capitellium fracture. We'll have to x ray it in the back to be sure. Lucky for you it probably wont require surgery."

"Will we be finished before bars?"

"I'm sorry sweetie, but you can't compete.''

"What do you mean. You said slight fracture and no surgery. So just wrap it and I'm good to go, I have bars next."

The medic looked at Sasha and Marty.

"Lauren as far as this meet goes, I'm sorry, but you're out. Head to the locker room with Medic Tiller."

"I"m fine give me a shot or something any-"

Sasha spoke over her, "Lauren it's over."

Lauren grabbed her bag and stomped off behind the woman. Marty headed over to let Emily know she was up on bars and floor.

Sasha looked at the score board, and sighed. Vault was supposed to cushion their lead not end it. Between Lauren's fall and Payson's near fall they were in bad shape. Now more than ever they needed big scores from the last two girls. Kelly was up and he really hoped she could shake off the nerves and deliver.

Marty always called her his clutch performer and her vault proved why. She exploded off the table, twisted through the air two and a half times and landed feet firmly on the mat. It was beautiful. The score reflected the effort, 15.892.

He hugged Kelly after she left Marty's side. She stood next to him as they watched Andrea start her sprint. He'd been iffy about actually allowing any gymnast to perform a Produnova. It was always going to be hit or miss, either you stand up or you dont. Andrea stood up, tall and proud. He was suprised when she came to stand at his other side instead of Marty's after her triumph. When the 16.231 flashed on the screen she jumped into his arms, before running off to hug the other girls.

They were gathering their bags to move onto bars when Kelly caught his arm. "You have to talk to her."

"Lauren will be fine."

''Like I care about Lauren. I meant Payson. She is tanking, and she needs you. Help her."

He looked up at the scoreboard. She'd dropped to fifth on beam and fourth on vault. At this rate she wouldn't qualify for the all around, or any of the event finals. He knew Kelly was right but he had been keeping his distance for fear that his prescence would do more harm than good, but watching her stare at the ground while she held her bag was breaking his heart, all over again.

* * *

The beginning of their bars rotation went much smoother. Emily had put in a brilliant performance. The scores were trending higher and Payson was standing by the chalkbowl getting ready. He stood on the other side, she tensed so he knew she knew it was him, "How are you?"

"Fine coach."

He chose to ignore her attitude, right now she needed her coach, and that is what she was going to get, "You are better than this."

"Maybe not, maybe Worlds was a fluke." She was grinding the block of chalk into her hands angrily.

"You know that isn't true. You can do this, you were made for this. Unlike these other girls you shine the brightest during adversity."

She didnt answer but she didn't walk away so he took that as a sign to keep talking. "You are a diamond, and diamonds can only form under intense pressure, but after it has been formed nothing can crack it. It shines in the darkest of places. You are a diamond rare, precious, and unbreakable. There are two rotations left, two rotations where you are strongest. You can do this, you will do this."

She didnt look up at him during his speech but he could tell he was listening. He reached up to place his hand on her shoulder but decided against it. She didnt say anything before she moved to the apparatus. He could only hope she really heard him.

Payson took a deep breath and cleared her mind. All day she had been trying to push through, but everytime she thought she had a lid on her emotions, a flicker of something would cause her to falter. Trying to keep it hidden felt like holding melting ice in her hand on a hot summer day, little drops just kept leaking out.

She opened her eyes and looked at the bars. Her fall on this event set everything into motion. At Worlds she took home the gold. What would it be for her today? Redemption or the final nail in the coffin? She mounted.

The bars did offer one thing, a respite from thinking. Bars took an extraordinary amount of concentration. When you were on them, the only thing you could think about was the next move, the next connection. Twist here, turn, faster, faster, release, reach, grab, turn, faster, harder, release, twist, grab, repeat. If you lost focus for even a moment you would miss something. If you missed something on bars there was no saving it, you would fall. The bars were unforgiving, and right now she needed something to take her mind off of everything. Before she knew it she was on her feet under the high bar and her teammates were cheering. For the first time that day she felt like herself.

Her eyes sought Sasha of their own volition. He wasnt smiling or cheering like the others he was just looking at her his expression inscrutable. Even though she didnt know what was going on behind his eyes she felt as though something had changed.

She jogged to the sidelines and was greeted by Kelly."Well thank you for showing up, I was starting to think I came to Greece alone."

"I'm here now."

"About time."

"We have floor next are you ready?"

"I can do this."

* * *

Floor was their final rotation. She let herself look at the score board for the first time since the meet began, after three rotations as a team they were in second place behind the Chinese. She was fourth in the all around seven tenths behind Kelly who was in the number one spot. First on bars, sixth on beam, and eighth on vault. Right now she wasnt guarenteed anything. It all came down to floor.

If bars called for all of your concentration, then floor called for all of your emotions. For Payson it had become a refuge a place where she was safe to let it all that is what she did. Floor had been her salvation before, and it would be again today. She used the ninety seconds that she had to express everything she had been holding inside. The longing and the love she felt for Sasha. The pain of their seperation. The despair of love lost. She lost her self in the emotions and trusted her body to do the rest.

Payson felt like she was opening her heart and pouring it out onto the floor. It was like the day outside the Rock with Sasha and the paint. She was telling a story and cleansing her soul in the process. Every emotion she had hidden away boiled to the surface and she let it. The music ended and so did she. It wasnt until Kelly brushed her cheeks that she realized she had been crying. She had given it her everything, all that was left to do know was wait.

The scores for her floor routine posted and Payson tracked the changes across the board. First in floor, first in bars, still sixth on beam, ninth on vault, third in the all around. Kelly jumped up and down beside her she had placed first in the all around, third on vault third on bars second on floor and ninth on beam

It wasnt set in stone but it was highly likely they would both compete in the team finals the event finals and the all around. The final tally placed the American team in second place still trailing China, unless three of the other four teams outscored them it should be enough.

The score board went blank and she watched as it filled in again.

Team Finals: 1. Romania 2. China 3. United States 4. Russia. They made it.

The screen changed to the all around finalists. The top spot went to a Romanian gymnast, Kelly was number two. She followed the list until she reached her name. She was in the fifth position, Wendy took the eighth.

For a rocky start the Americans faired well individually. Kelly made every event final except beam. Payson qualified for bars and floor. Andrea's Produnova had earned her the top spot in the vault finals but nothing else. Wendy qualified last for floor along with last in the All- Around. Suprisingly Lauren was in the seventh position on the beam but with her injury she would be unable to compete.

It wasn't a banner day but they had another chance. When they got back to the hotel Marty congratulated them, and gave the cursory get a good nights rest instructions.

Kelly had just finished her shower and settled in with a book, when there was a soft knock at the door. She thought Austin but he told her he was going to be hanging out after the meet with Nicky and Max. He'd invited her but she declined, it was early still, but she intended to get all the rest she could for the team finals tomorrow. The knock sounded again and she put on her house coat and checked the peep hole.

She flung open the door and found Payson similarly attired. She was holding a plastic carton and a movie case. "I think I'm ready to talk about it."

* * *

So writing gymnastics is easier said than done. Hope this wasn't too terrible. Please let me know how you felt about it.


	19. Chapter 19

ch 19

She reached out and hugged the teary eyed blonde, before stepping into the hallway. "Come on."

Payson was confused. "I came to you. Where are we going?"

"Your room, in case you didn't notice I'm with Lauren, unless you want to clue her in, I suggest we find another spot. So lead the way to your super secret special room, if we are going to wallow in Greece, we might as well wallow in style."

Payson smiled the brunette had a way of putting things that just made you feel better.

Kelly let out a low whistle when they entered the room. "Wow excellent choice in sponsors."

"Yeah, I'd better enjoy it now. After the way today went, who knows how many are going to stick around."

"You mean after you qualified first for two events, made the all around finals, and the team finals. I'm sure they find you completely pathetic."

"You know what I mean, I choked. Plain and simple."

"You rebounded. Plain and simple."

Payson walked over and sat on her bed. She ran her fingers down the edge of the comforter as she studied it. "Because of Sasha, I rebounded because of Sasha. Even after I have treated him like crap, he came through for me. He always does."

Kelly sat next to her and stilled her hand. "He's your coach he is supposed to get you through the rough times."

The tears she'd been holding back started to fall. "But how is he supposed to do that, when he is the rough time I'm going through."

"The same way he did today. Put aside your differences and focus on the goal. That is the only thing you can do at competitions."

"And what about the rest of it?"

"It comes in time."

Payson stood and started pacing. "I tried to tell myself I was over it. That he didn't matter. I thought if I didn't think about it, eventually it would go away. Then that woman, from last night. I dont think I could handle seeing him with someone else, I literally almost threw up. Then I thought about how he must feel when I'm with Nicky. Then I thought about how horrible I was being to Nicky, he's my friend, and I have been using him. He didn't deserve that and Sasha didnt deserve it, but I was just so mad. It was easier to be mad than to be hurt. Thing is it didnt even work, and I now I'm worse off than before. Tell me what to do to get over him?"

Kelly grabbed her arm and dragged her back down onto the bed. "First, I'm amazed you managed to perform any semblance of a routine with all of that floating around in your head. So brava to you. Secondly there is no magic recipe for getting over someone. You get angry, and you cry, and you throw things and then you cry some more. That is what I did with Carter. Next thing you know one day it gets a little easier, and then a little better, until one day it doesnt hurt as bad. But you have to face the hurt to get over the hurt. Take it one day at a time." She put her arm around the still crying girl." But sweetie, if you felt like that seeing him with another woman, maybe you don't want to get over him, and that is ok too. You love him and it hurts, but you can't let it affect your dream. "

"I dont, I didn't want to let him go, but he ended I have to move on now, or else I really will be pathetic."

"I have no facts to back this up, and I don't know why he ended it, but I dont think it was because he wanted too. You know he cares about you, I know he cares about you. It is a hard situation any way you look at it. Cut yourselves some slack and give yourselves some time." Payson nodded into her shoulder. "Now let's enjoy the cinematic stylings of Ryan Gosling."

They had eaten the fat free, sugar free, taste free yogurt and watched the Notebook. Payson fell asleep with the tears not yet dry on her face, but a smile on her lips.

* * *

Payson stood next to Kelly in the arena. Today was a new day, and everyone was starting off on even footing. Kelly was waving excitedly towards the stands where Austin was sitting. Next to him sat Nicky and Max, who waved at her when she saw them. Austin was mouthing something Payson didn't quite catch, but it seemed to be intended for Kelly since she rolled her eyes. She meant to ask her about that recent development last night, but after expelling her emotions, she'd fallen asleep.

She put all thoughts of budding relationships out of her mind as she focused on supporting her teammates on the vault. Only the three people would compete on each apparatus it would be Wendy, Kelly, and Andrea this round. Originally Lauren was slated for team finals but her injury kept her out. Payson had the higher d.o.d but after yesterday's performance she wasn't surprised to hear Wendy's name in leiu of her own, it was the right choice.

Wendy stood at the end of the runway, waiting for the signal. She would be performing the same vault Lauren had yesterday, a double twist. The younger girl landed it with ease. Payson cheered along with the rest of the team, that would merit a good score, 15.033, very respectable. She clapped even louder as Kelly raised her arms signaling she was ready. The tiny brunette rocketed down the runway and off the platform, landing with an almost imperceptible hop.

Kelly's Amanar earned her a 15.872 almost the same score from yesterday. They quieted and focused on Andrea. It was only her second time competing this vault, and it would prove to the world whether yesterday was a fluke or if she was the real deal.

Payson saw the judges sit up straighter in their seats as Andrea started her run, a front handspring and two somersaults later she was standing tall saluting the judges once again. Payson and Kelly let out a cheer as the 16.4 posted on the board. So far they were in first place.

Now she had to focus on herself and the beam. She put yesterday behind her, with Lauren's absence she needed to knock this out of the park. The lack of depth on the American team in this particular event, meant that all of them needed every single tenth of a point. Sasha came to stand by her side as they watched Reagan complete her final aerial sequence, it was a bit unsteady but she fought for it, all that was left was the dismount.

Sasha moved in front of her, "You ready."

She nodded. As it stood after two decent scores, both in the low fifteens, they would need an all but perfect routine to maintain their lead. No pressure.

Payson felt better during the routine today. Though it wasn't perfect there were no major wobbles or balance checks. She stood next to Sasha as they awaited the score. It was higher than yesterday's but it still wasn't enough. They fell to second place behind Romania.

They lined up and headed to the bars. Payson, Kelly, and Emily put on their grips . Sasha stood in front of them. "Shake it off, those standings will not hold. I watched the Romanian team yesterday. They have two girls that are good on bars and beam but they will falter on the next two events. They dont have a difficulty score above 5.9 on floor or vault. If we are solid, and we will be, these next two rotations will place us at the top of the podium."

The three nodded.

"Kelly you're up," Marty called.

Payson watched as first Kelly and then Emily swung from high bar to low bar, then she was up. They'd done their part and so would she, her routine was over before she knew it. Their combined scores put them three tenths ahead of the Romanians, who, as Sasha predicted had faltered on the vault.

There was only the floor left to conquer, and conquer they did. The final standings placed them squarely ahead of the Romanians, who had fallen to third behind the Russians. As they stood atop the podium holding their flowers and waving Payson felt like she'd won more than just the team gold.

* * *

She looked for Sasha after they descended from the podium. She didnt know what she was going to say, but she felt like she needed to say something to clear the air. Maybe it was the high of the win getting to her, but she knew that if he hadn't come to her rescue yesterday, she would never have been able to pull it together, and none of them would be standing there.

He was normally easy to spot standing at least a full head taller than most of them. She was turned towards the exit where everyone was lining up to leave, when she found him. He was standing next to the dark haired Anica laughing heartily, and her heart sank. She might have needed him, but he sure as hell didn't need her.

The Romanian team passed in front of her. The fact that they were speaking English let her know the conversation was mainly for her benefit. "They may have won this time but Anica says she will get us Sasha Belov before Worlds. Once he is our coach again the Americans dont stand a chance."

"Is she sure he is coming back?"

"They had a long 'conversation' in her room last night, I think that helped him decide."

"How do you know that?"

"Well she is my sister we talked. I just want them to be happy. If we get another good coach out of the deal then fine."

Payson walked away. If what they said was true, then the best part of the news was that Sasha was leaving. Maybe if he really left, she could climb off this emotional roller coaster, and get her life back on track. She didn't look at him when he finally boarded the bus. Sitting quietly next to Kelly, she let the girl carry on an entire conversation by herself. They got off the bus and headed into the lobby where they were greeted by Austin, Nicky, and Max.

"Kels you were great." Austin picked Kelly up off her feet and swung her around. She smiled brilliantly, before he turned and addressed everyone from the women's team who was still standing around. "It's still early and the guys and I found a great little spot just around the corner anyone care to celebrate."

"That's probably not a good idea, finals start tomorrow." Wendy said nervously.

"Yeah tomorrow afternoon. Besides I dont think they were inviting children." Lauren snipped.

"Do you guys not remember what happened the last time one of us missed bed check at a hotel abroad. I might not be able to compete in the finals but I want all of you too."

"Well we wont miss bed check. Plus you were like five hours late. It's four oclock in the afternoon right now. The finals start at one oclock tomorrow. Bed check is at nine. We said an hour, two at the most. All of us will be back in plenty of time. It wont even be dark." Lauren said.

"You're not even competing tomorrow, so how does this affect you again." Emily pointed out.

"It actually sounds like a good idea." Andrea interjected catching Wendy's eye, "It will really give us time to bond as a team."

"See, even the one hit wonder knows how to have fun. Lets go. " Lauren motioned to the door. No one moved.

"We solemnly swear to have you all back before curfew." Max said. Still no one moved.

All eyes fell to Payson. Lauren's face was bored. Kelly looked hopeful, Emily looked hesitant, Andrea was eager, and the two younger girls waited expectantly. "Captian Keeler. What say you?" Came Austin's voice.

"Pay," Kelly pleaded with wide eyes.

Payson sighed. She had so much on her mind she did not need this right now, but getting out of the hotel, and away from Sasha and his new-old girlfriend sounded like a good idea. She looked back at Austin and Max, who were staring at her with puppy dog eyes. "A mini- celebration."

"Yes!" Kelly cheered, while the two men high fived.

"One hour tops, then we are right back to our hotel, resting for tomorrow." The blonde stressed.

Kelly moved first. Grabbing Payson's arm and pulling her towards the elevators."We have to change, and we'll meet you back here at five pm sharp."

"Why can't we go now, and be back by five." Payson whined.

"We are sweaty and wearing track suits. Have I taught you nothing." Kelly sounded slightly scandalized. "Dont you want to look nice, Nicky is here."

"I told you last night. I dont feel that way about him."

"Then use tonight to let him down gently."

"I dont see why I even have to do that. We arent together, we just worked out together for like two weeks." Payson said as they entered the hotel room.

"Well then dont say anything to him."

"I dont think this night is about me an Nicky resolving our issues at all. I think it is about you and Austin and your thing."

Kelly stopped gathering her belongings, and looked over at Payson. "I have no idea what you are talking about."

"I'm talking about you, Austin Tucker, and your super secret romance."

"There's no romance, we're friends."

"Since when have you two been such close friends, you work out at the same gym that's all."

Kelly hesitated. She had always planned on telling Payson about her moving in with Austin, but the timing had never been right. Now she couldnt see a way around it.

"Right after Christmas my place was burglarized."

"What?!"

"Don't freak out. It was almost two months ago."

"Why didn't you say anything. Are you ok? What did you do? Where have you been staying? Are you back at that bed and breakfast? How are you paying for it? Do you need help becaus-"

"Hold it! Jeez! One question at a time. I'm fine, I moved out and I don't pay rent."

"Where do you live that you don't have to pay rent?"

"ImovedinwithAustin."

"I'm sorry, I didnt quite catch that."

"I moved in with Austin."

Payson gave a dry laugh."Of course you did because that is perfectly logical."

"It was at the time."

"Why didnt you call me?"

"...It was Christmas Day."

"You know that wouldnt have mattered."

"I know, but it did to me, and then everything worked out so..."

"And just how did everything work out?"

"I'm sure I dont know what you mean."

"I'm equally sure that you do. The two of you live together, and you're obviously together together -"

"Stop right there eharmony. We live together yes, but we are not together together."

"But I saw you today, and at the party, you looked pretty together to me."

"Well we aren't...that."

"O.k. so what are you then?"

"Roommates." Kelly shrugged. "Just two guys hanging out, and one of us happens to not be a guy. Let's just leave it there."

"Does he know that you guys are just roommates, because guys don't fly halfway around the globe for their roommates, nor do they give them flowers, or look at them the way he looks at you."

"It's nothing. Dont you have your own messy love life to worry about, because from where I'm sitting Russo just did the same for you."

Payson's face fell. That was something she was going to have to deal with sooner rather than later. She realized how cruel she was, leading Nicky on like she had been.

"Touche. I'll drop it...for now. Let's get ready so we can get back."

"Wow. Life of the party."

Thirty minutes later they met the guys downstairs. Lauren was already there pouting and Emily was standing in the corner talking into the phone.

"Where is Andrea?"

"She got drafted to babysit, even in Greece the other two aren't old enough to go where we are."

Payson hesitated. "Maybe this isnt such a good idea. It was supposed to be a team thing and now it's turning into a Rock thing. Maybe we should wait until after finals."

Lauren scoffed. "You cant be serious. So what if that girl chose to stay behind, she probably would have made it awkward if she was there anyway. It's better that it is just us."

"Come on Pay you already agreed, and Russo here flew all this way just to see you. You wouldn't want to let him down." Max ribbed.

Nicky blushed, while Payson looked away.

"Blowing off a little steam before a big meet won't hurt anything. We will be on our best behavior." Austin said seriously.

"Alright but just one hour, and non alcoholic beverages only. We will be back in our rooms before it even gets dark."

* * *

Three hour later Payson looked out at the night sky. She knew this was a bad idea. She looked back to the dance floor, everyone seemed to be having fun. Lauren was flirting with Max so bad it was as if Carter didn't exist. Max didn't seem to mind as they danced closer together on the floor.

Kelly and Austin were a different story he was leaning up against the bar while she was letting a curly haired man twirl her around. He didnt look happy. She walked over to him. "So you guys are roommates now."

"She told you?"

"Like five minutes ago."

"Yeah well..."

"You should ask her to dance."

"Looks like her dance card is full." Austin replied sullenly.

"If you want to ask just ask, If it's you I doubt she will say no."

"What are you getting at Keeler?"

Payson turned to meet his eye, "I think you know. Even if she doesnt, I think you do."

He shook his head."It's not like that. She is different. we are different."

Her voice was skeptical. "Really, nothing romantic at all."

"Yes or I mean no,"

"Good thing then, cause she is totally making out with that guy."

"What." The color drained from Austin's face as he whipped around searching frantically only to find Kelly ordering a another glass of water.

Payson laughed. "Different my ass."

"Very funny Keeler, She is just so... and I'm so... I'm having a hard time."

"You're all warm, and mushy, and full of secret feelings,"

He rolled his eyes but didnt deny it. "You might want to get your house in order before working on mine."

Payson stopped laughing."What?"

"You can only push a guy away for so long, before he moves on and stops trying."

She looked over at Nicky. He was chatting with Emily on a bench just off the side of the dance floor.

"Nicky and I arent like that."

Austin gave her an unreadable look. "It's not nice to give a man false hope but, who said I was talking about Russo." With that he walked over to Kelly leaned down and whispered something in her ear. She nodded and he signaled the others.

The walk back to the hotel was tense, well for Payson at least. She pushed what Austin had said to the back of her mind for later examination. He didn't know anything, so she must have been reading to much into it.

Her more pressing concern was Nicky. If he really had come here for her then she was being incredibly rude, they had barely exchanged more than a hello, how are you, if that since she had been here. The bigger issue would be if he did come here for her, expecting something, she needed to let him know where she stood.

They were right in front of the hotel when she grabbed his arm. "Can we take the stairs and talk?"

He nodded and they broke off from the group.

* * *

The others headed inside. They were three steps from the elevator when a crisp British voice rang out. "Well well well what have we here. Of course it would be you all, it's always some of mine."

The group turned slowly to find find Sasha standing next to Marty, they were leaning against the wall across from the elevator, and they were pissed.

Kelly spoke first trying to smooth things over. "We are back before curfew, and there was no rule that said we couldn't go sight seeing."

Sasha looked even angrier, "Common sense should have dictated that you would not go 'sight seeing' the day before the all around finals."

"It my fault coa-" Austin started, stepping forward.

"You, do not speak. You, have done enough. I dont care about some silly curfew, I expect more out of all of you especially my two all ar-," he broke off and looked around, "Where is Payson?"

They all looked around as if expecting her to be hiding behind one of the stautes or potted plants.

"Where is Payson?'' He asked again.

"In her room.'' Kelly answered.

Marty cocked his head to the side. "Already been there. Try again."

When no one answered Sasha stepped closer, "Did you lot leave her alone in a strange city?"

"She went on a walk to clear her head, for tomorrow." Emily volunteered.

"So you geniuses let your teammate go for a walk at night alone in a strange city? Where anything could happen to her-"

"Of course not, she's in her room with Nicky." Kelly closed her eyes, and waited for the fall out. Everyone else turned to glare at Lauren. No one spoke, no one moved. Kelly cracked open one eye and looked at Sasha first, he was livid. He turned taking the stairs two at a time.

"You are unbelievable." Kelly muttered.

"What! I didnt mean it that way, but you heard what she said just like I did, 'Can we talk', then they went upstairs. They aren't even staying at this hotel, ergo, they went to her room to 'talk'. You should be thanking me, the madder he is at the golden girl, the less trouble we are in."

* * *

Instead of heading straight inside, Payson and Nicky sat on the steps in front of the building. Neither of them spoke, choosing instead to study the designs on the stairs until Nicky broke the silence, "When I first saw you I though you were the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. Then I saw you do gymnastics and it was like you were some kind of goddess. So much power grace and beauty in one person. You were my dream thing about a dream is you build it up in your mind to be something so great, that the reality can never live up to the fantasy."

"So I'm a let down."

"No way. You are even better than I imagined, the let down is us together. Something is holding you back, I don't know if it's gymnastics, or if it's something wrong with me, but-"

"There is nothing wrong with you. All of this is my fault, you just got dragged into my issues."

"Well it was a fun ride."

"Nicky I'm sorry if I-"

"You didn't do anything wrong. You never made me any promises. We were always just friends."

"You came all this way."

"Austin paid. The guy is loaded, and it was a free vacation."

Payson laughed. "So no hard feelings"

"There is no reason."

"We should head inside then."

"Yeah, I'll walk you to your room. Your lucky you aren't rooming with those two slobs."

They laughed about his neat freak tendencies until they reached her door. He grabbed her hand, "Whoever he is, he is an idiot."

Payson smiled wistfully leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. "Good night."

She walked away from the door as it closed. She hummed a little to herself as she let her hair down and gathered her things to take a bath. She was completely unprepared for the voice that sounded from the chair next to her bed. "Lucky guy, he dodged a bullet. Does he know you have a habit of seducing unsuspecting men in hotel rooms."

* * *

Hope this chapter satisfies. As always please let me know how you feel about it and what I can do to improve, any and all suggestions are appreciated.


	20. Chapter 20

Ch.20

Payson whipped her head around and met the steely blue gaze of Sasha Belov. He was sitting slouched in the chair next to her bed with his legs splayed apart widely, as if he owned the entire room."Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ruin whatever plans you had for the night."

She refused to play his game. She was finally getting her equilibrium back, and here he was trying to ruin it...again. It wasn't going to work. She would just stay calm and he would leave."Somehow I dont think that's true. What are you doing here?"

The corner of his mouth raised in a sardonic fashion. "Would you like me to leave?"

"Would you leave if I said yes?"

"No." His smile remained in place, but there was nothing friendly about it.

She pursed her lips. "Then we're right back where we started. What are you doing here?"

"That's all you have to say for yourself. What am I doing here?"

"Is that all I have to say for myself! When you spent-" She sucked in a deep breath and closed her eyes. Now was not the time to let her feelings take over. She had been making real progress, and to keep the upperhand she had to remain calm. "Well this is my room so..."

His voice was tight and controlled. It seemed as though she wasn't the only one in this room hiding the true extent of their emotions. "Maybe, had you been in your room, instead of entertaining boys in bars, we wouldn't be having this conversation."

"I don't see how that is any of your business."

"I'm your coach therefore everything," He scoffed. "And everyone, that you do is my business."

His taunt hit it's target that time, and she felt some of her composure slip. "Are you here as my coach right now? Is it my coach's job to hurl baseless accusations about my sex life the night before competition?"

"You don't have a sex life!" He roared, standing up from the chair.

Payson stood her ground. "You should know from personal experience that I do! Maybe it hasn't been as active and exciting as yours has lately, but-"

"Now who is throwing around baseless accusations! You have no idea what you're talking about."

She clenched her fist until her nails dug into her palms. The situation was deteriorating fast and she needed to stop it before one of them did irreparable damage. "I dont have time for this. You can stay, enjoy the room. I'm going somewhere, anywhere else." She turned around to leave.

He must not have gotten the message that their fight was over, because he came to stand in front of her. "I expected more from you. You dont get to walk away from me again! You dont get to leave, or check out of this conversation. You dont get to spend weeks treating me like furniture. You do not get to leave!"

"Yes I do!" She screamed shoving her finger into his chest. If he was so determined to do this tonight then fine. There were some things she wanted to get off of her chest anyway. How dare he accuse her of being the deserter. "You left me! You didn't want me anymore! You chose Summer and then whats her face over me! I was shattered into a thousand pieces. I make no apologies for how I chose to repair what you broke. You left me, you dont get to call me out. I never walked away from you." Her yell had turned into a repressed strangled sob. "You left me, you broke me."

"I did what was best-"

"It's my life too! Did you ever stop to think about that. This isnt a routine or a competition. You're not always the coach! You dont always get the final say! This is my life! I have the right to have my opinions, my wants, my needs, and my desires matter." She paused to catch her breath and take a step back, literally and figuratively. "It has to end. This thing between us, whatever it is or was, it has to be over. Done. I'm trying really hard to be happy here, and I can't do that with this hanging over my head all the time."

"How do you suppose we could manage that. You asked me to stay, begged me to stay and now..." He ran his hands through his hair. ''Do you think I want this? What makes you think I want to be that guy? I would give anything to be able to leave just so I could stop this."

"Don't act like this leaving thing is new, or that it has anything to do with me. If you want to go, then just leave already."

"I can't!" He screamed. "I can't leave, because I can't leave you. But you have already left me."

She was shaking her head vigorously back and forth. "No! You don't get to do this again. No."

She looked close to breaking down so he reached out for her. "Payson."

"No. Dont you get it this whole time I've been waiting for you! I wait for you, I watch for you! My every... everything is about you. You own me!" Her voice was getting hysterical, "I can not breathe, without you." She pushed against his chest with both hands, and tried to spin away. She was shocked when he pulled her close yelled back in her face.

"I wait for you! I watch for you! I belong to you!"

She let the tears fall and collapsed against his chest at his admission. Her voice was quieter now. "So there is no escape. We can't be together, and we can't escape each other."

They were standing inches apart as he reached out and cupped her face with his hands."If I could run away from all of this, and be with you... but I can't, I have responsibilities. and you deserve better than me. You deserve a normal, easy, happy life. You can never have that with me."

She reciprocated his gesture, cupping his face and bringing them that much closer. "I don't want normal, easy, or simple. Have you even met me? Look at what I have chosen to do with my life so far. I'm going to the Olympics, reaching for the impossible. Why would this be any different? I fight for the things I want. I get the things I want, no matter the cost."

"I could destroy you."

"I welcome the destruction." She stopped just short of connecting their mouths, letting his presence wash over her, breathing him in, "I love you and I want you."

"I leave a wake of pain and destruction behind me wherever I go. What could you possibly want from me?"

It was a question similar to the one he'd posed to her a few weeks ago. She thought for a moment, what exactly did she want from him? The answer was as simple as the one he'd given her, "I want everything. I want painful, difficult, devastating, life changing, extraordinary love. I want everything." She held her breath, awaiting his response. He was right about one thing his answer in this moment had the power to destroy her.

"Take it. It's already yours."

She breathed a long sigh of relief as the momentary fear left her. She pulled his face down, and before he could say a word covered his mouth with hers.

The kiss was long and luxurious. His lips were warm and soft on hers. She could feel the light brush of his mustache and stubble against her cheeks. The smell of him was intoxicating, causing reason to be replaced with emotion, as one kiss led to another. Her breath was becoming rapid and shallow, it was as if no matter how deeply she inhaled it couldnt quite fill her lungs. She shuddered as he stroked her neck with light brushes of his fingertips.

He pulled away, his eyes searching hers before he bent again, this time his lips brushed her ear. His voice was thicker now, edged with desire, but each word was distinct and there was no confusion to the meaning. "It is only for you to say 'stop' and it stops."

He fixed his gaze on her and actually waited for an answer."Never stop." She started walking backwards, pulling him with her towards the bed. She felt it hit the back of her knees. Sitting down, she leaned back slowly pulling him with her,

He lay down beside her and folded her small, lithe body into his with ease. Their kisses were all consuming, sometimes urgent, sometimes shy and hesitant. Each was exploring the other. Each communicating without words the desire and the deep need they felt.

Her breathing was growing heavier and was punctuated with a deep moan when he teased a sensitive spot at the juncture of her neck and jawline. She freely exposed the sensitive skin to the tortuously slow descent of his kisses onto her clavicle. The entire length of her body was pressed to his, making her hyper- aware of his every move. Strong fingers probed deeply into the muscles of her back, while her own nails raked his arm and shoulders.

His kisses were being alternated with tender bites delivered to the crest of her shoulder. At each she shivered and gave an involuntary moan of pleasure. His own neck was exposed and she kissed, licked and bit until she felt him tense and shudder with the pleasure she was giving him. She could hear his breathing becoming heavy and broken and each of his caresses became more insistent.

Payson's chest rose and fell more rapidly, as she fought for control of herself. She stood on a precipice. Behind her was the safety of the known. She could retreat before this went any further, or she could willingly embrace the abyss and fall freely into a warm and welcoming unknown. Her eyes were closed as she felt him move over her, and she made her choice.

Lifting her arms she took off her shirt and met his hooded gaze. He stood still as she reached out and lifted his shirt over his head. It was all the invitation he needed.

He was surprised and thrilled by the passion he found on her lips now. Something had changed in her, although what it was that caused the change he could not say. Now they were together, and he was delighted he took the risk. She was everything he ever supposed he could want or should want. Her passion kindled a fire in him he thought long dead. Her touches electrified him. He never believed there was anyone who could cause him to feel this way. No one who could touch him on a spiritual level the way she did. He had suppressed his feelings for so long it fed the illusion that he had them tightly controlled. The nearness of her revealed he'd only been lying to himself.

Control. He had thought himself so very much in control before her. Now she possessed him mind, body, and soul. He had thought he was immune to feeling and feelings, having been hurt and done the hurting so very badly, so very often. He had cut himself off and had every intention of staying that way... until she entered his life. He had thought he would be the one to destroy her, but in that moment he knew she held the power to utterly decimate him. Truer words had never been spoken, than when he said he belonged to her.

They had continued to kiss until both were breathless. Panting they held each other and were still. He looked down at her and studied her face. There had never been anything to fear about their union. They were each what the other had come to know.

He slid his hands down her body, and touched her. The shudder that shook her seemed to go on forever. Her fingernails scratched at his neck and shoulders. The sensations she caused in him, only increased his desire to please her. Never had he imagined a woman could be so filled with passion.

The intensity of feeling she caused in him left him weak and shaking. At last when he could bear it no longer, he was only able to whisper, "Please..."

To which she answered, "Oh, yes..."

Their joining was easy, smooth. The tenderness each showed was answered in turn by the other. It seemed as if their bodies were made for no other purpose than this union. The rhythm they developed was slow, caring and full of meaning for them both. They were lost in each other, locked within a magnificent moment in a timeless place. Never had it been like this for her. Never had he imagined it could ever be like this at all. On and on it went, each of them falling deeper into the other.

How she had longed to be with this man, in this way. Now he was hers, even if just for this moment. She knew that if it all ended now, this, would be enough to sustain her. To have known him in this way, to have loved him, and been loved by him in return.

Their movements became more urgent, her pleas to him became more insistent, her voice was thick with need. It wasn't the physical coupling they needed; it was a spiritual bonding, a mingling of two souls which would burn brighter together than either had separately.

A tenderness flowed through them at the moment of absolute fulfilment. Although their bodily responses were frantic, at the exact moment of release, each was able to define what it was to be sincerely wanted, truly needed, and completely loved.

Still tangled in intimacy, he raised himself over her and said softly, almost inaudibly, "It's you...at last."

"Yes, it's me." She said just as his mouth covered hers.

They floated on the current of this tenderness for an intense yet immeasurable moment in a place where there was no space or time; only them.

Having finally spent themselves, they lay exhausted in each others embrace and reveled in the closeness and the warmth. "You're happy." She said with a content smile of her own.

In response he kissed her forehead, "Go to sleep Payson."

"We have to tal-"

"We'll sort it out in the morning."

Payson yawned betraying the toll the nights events had had on her. "Fine, but no take backs." She yawned again, as she sat up to look at him. "Say it."

"No take backs. Now go to sleep." He watched her close her eyes, a small smile graced her lips even as her breath slowed, indicating she was asleep. There were a thousand thoughts running through his mind, but he didn't allow any of them to take hold. So much had transpired on this night that would have far reaching consequences and ramifications, but there would be time to dwell on that later. Right now he wanted to make this moment last as long as possible.

* * *

So I'm a little concerned about the rating. I dont know if this crosses the line or not. I tried to keep it PG13, more about the emotion than the actions, but if anyone is offended or thinks it's a bit to racy I'll be happy to change the rating. Otherwise I hope this chapter leaves you satisfied. Lol, terrible joke I know.

Please let me know what you think in the review section, and dont forget to favorite and follow!


	21. Chapter 21

Ch.21

He wasn't sure when exactly he'd even fallen asleep. The majority of his night had been spent observing her with equal parts horror and fascination. Three times he'd gotten up to leave. He'd made it as far as opening door the last time. He probably could have made it out of the room, had he not turned around.

She was lying on her side, with her hand curled up beside her face. He could still see traces of a smile on her lips. Sleep made her oblivious to his attempted escape. His body sagged against he door, he couldn't go. He couldnt leave her, he would never leave her. He made his way back to the bed and sat in the chair beside it.

Memento Mori; Amor Fati. Remember death; love fate. If ever anything had been fated, it was this life with this women. Like drowning, the harder he fought it, the more it dragged him under. He'd found the phrase in a book given to him by Nicoli after he learned he could no longer compete. He'd made the phrase one of the cornerstones on his path to acceptance. He'd been in his prime, young even by male gymnast standards, just nineteen. He'd pushed himself to hard and then his burgeoning career had been over. He'd drank himself into a stupor for over a year. It was even longer before he'd really come around and accepted his circumstances. It had been his fate, to taste true victory only once.

He thought the same with regards to Payson. She was forbidden to him. After Rio she went into the same category as Sydney, something he could only have once. Destined to be the greatest and lowest moment of his life. Last night had proven him wrong. Here she lay before him, right there at his fingertips. He could have her forever, if he wanted. The idea was both thrilling and terrifying.

'I'm yours.' The words from earlier that evening floated back to him. Twice now she'd whispered the phrase against the column of his throat before she'd succumbed to their passion, last night, and the very first time they'd been together. She was wrong. It was he who belonged to her. She'd captured him mind, body, and soul. In that moment the decision was made, just let it happen. You cant fight fate.

He'd taken his shirt off, and climbed back into the bed. She immediately sought him out, curving her body into his even though she remained asleep. He tightened his arm around her bare back. There were worse fates.

He was awake now though and it was due to the pint sized blond tracing feather light patterns along his hip.

"You have a tattoo." She said her voice hoarse from disuse.

He looked down at the two Chinese characters. "I got it in Sydney the night after I won the all around."

"It's so small, I never noticed it. What does it mean?"

As embarrassing as it was to admit, he had no idea what the tattoo actually meant. "Don't allow your friends to take you to a tattoo parlor when you are to inebriated to make sound decisions."

"That is alot for two little symbols."

"Yes well the best lessons in life are concise yet full of meaning."

She sat up and moved away from him."So..." That proved his point. Just one word yet it was so loaded. "I didnt expect you to be here when I woke up this morning."

"If I was a better man I wouldnt be here."

She leaned back into her pillow, putting more distance between them. Her face was unreadable. He had a moment of internal panic. Maybe she didnt want him to be here when she woke up. She'd been caught up in the moment, but had finally come to her senses. He'd give her an easy out. "Do you want me to be the better man?" She wasn't looking at him as he searched her features for any inkling of what she might be thinking.

She looked like she was struggling with sonmething, and her voice was low when she spoke. "Sasha, you are the best man that I know."

"That is n-"

"Please just listen to me. I know we did some version of talking last night, but it consisted of more yelling than anything, so please just let me say this." She let out a long sigh. "I love you, Alexandru Belov. I'm so in love with you, that it is humiliating, because I am about to beg you not to leave me. If you did I dont think I would survive it. You are it for me, I'm done. I'm yours."

Her words curled around him and kindled something deep and primal, but he reigned it in. He needed to know that he had given her every opportunity to walk away."Payson I dont want you to feel obligated because I said I love you. We went about this in completely the wrong way. You're young and I would understand if you needed time, to process, to think. Whatever you decide I'm okay with, if you want to go back to they way we were before-"

"How could you think after last night? After what I just said?" Her expression darkened. "Unless you-"

He leaned over and kissed her deeply, her eyes were still closed when he spoke. "I meant what I said. I love you. I am in love with you Payson Keeler. I am yours completely. The only thing I want is to never let you out of my sight or out of my bed, ever again."

"Well I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere; until this afternoon; when I have to compete."

He chuckled before reaching out to pull her closer. "That gives us almost six hours, whatever shall we do." He wrapped his arms around her waist, nuzzling her jawline.

She groaned low in her throat before pulling back."Wait, there is something I want to do. Stay very still. I mean it, dont move." She moved to face him and straddled his lap. "This is one of those moments in life, I'm going to want to remember in perfect detail forty years from now. The moment you told me you loved me, and the moment I could freely do this," She placed her hands on both sides of his face. Leaning in painfully slow she kissed him. It was a simple kiss, chaste even. She leaned back and smiled serenely. "That was the first time I've ever been able to kiss you just to kiss you. No alcohol, no yelling, no cameras. Just you and me."

"Do it again." He whispered.

And so she did slanting her lips across his. They had five hours before the All Around, and it would be five hours well spent.

* * *

Payson sauntered into the arena right before warm ups started. She tried to erase the grin that seemed permanently etched on her face, but it could not be contained. She'd left just Sasha naked in her shower to make sure she wasnt late for the finals.

She'd barely made it through the doors when she found herself with an armful of Kelly. "You're alive." The brunette said as she crushed her in another hug.

"Was there evidence to the contrary?" She grunted, trying to extract herself from the embrace.

"Last night. Sasha. Lauren. Nicky. You. Dead."

"Longer sentences with more words please."

"Last night Lauren told Sasha you were with Nicky, alone in your room. He left mad as hell. He never came back, Nicky never came back, and you didnt answer the phone or your door. I have been worried sick. I thought I was going to end up in some creepy window less room, drinking bad coffee and answering highly invasive questions after they discovered the bodies." She finally let out a breath.

Payson felt slightly guilty. She and Sasha had been so wrapped up in each other, she hadn't even thought about her friends."Everything is fine."

"How is everything fine? Did you see Sasha last night he was madder than I have ever seen him." Kelly said.

Payson tried to keep her face neutral. She needed to nip this is the bud. She knew her friend was just concerned, but any answer she gave without outright lying would only lead to more questions.

"Everything is fine. I promise."

Kelly stopped and looked at Payson. She looked...happy. She was glowing even. Maybe Sasha hadnt found them, maybe she and Nicky had gotten together. She looked at the blond again. Payson looked calm and relaxed, back to her old self. No, better than her old self. She was radiant. Kelly narrowed her eyes and looked closer still. The answers always lay in the smallest details, the things people forget to hide. There it was, at the base of her neck. A tiny smudge, barely visible beyond the line of fabric. A hickey.

Kelly smirked. Good for Payson, she was finally getting over Sasha. "So last night, you and Nicky...talked?"

"I told you we were going to, remember?"

"Yeah I do." She leaned over and impulsively hugged Payson. "If you're happy I'm happy. Nick is a good guy, boring but good."

"What is with the hugging?"

"Ladies, lets get warmed up." Marty called. "Payson, could you come here please?"

Damn, more questions, she thought as she made her way over to him. Marty and Sasha were sharing a room, if he was following Kelly's original train of thought this could get tricky. "Yes Marty?"

"Have you seen Sasha?"

She decided to be evasive. "Um I'm pretty sure he will be here soon."

Marty sighed. "Yeah, it's just...Did he find you last night?"

Stick to the basics, dont lie just deflect. "Yeah. He was upset, but it is fine now."

"Really," Marty's face belied his disbelief.

"Yeah, he yelled I yelled, now we are fine." She kept her voice monotone and her expression neutral.

Marty's face didnt change. They were still standing there when a harried looking Sasha rushed into the arena. Marty looked back at her for a second before walking toward his friend. His hair was still wet and there were traces of a smile evident on his face. He inclined his head in her direction before addressing Marty.

Payson turned to find Kelly so they could warm-up. She was over by the stands talking to Austin who was leaning over the rail pointing at something behind him. Kelly was shaking her head vehemently with a frown on her face, and Austin looked confused. Payson shrugged it off, and sat down to stretch, not that she needed to, Sasha saw to that. She smiled at the memories.

Kelly joined her a few minutes later. She slid into a split before reaching for her toes. "So you never told me if Sasha found you last night?"

"You didn't ask."

Kelly scoffed. "I didnt know I needed to."

Payson looked over at the other girl. There was something in Kelly's demeanor that put her on alert.

"So did he?" Kelly continued.

"Did he what?" Yes something was definitely off.

"Did he find you?" The brunette was no longer stretching and her eyes were burning a hole in the side of Payson's head.

"Yes."

"Hmm... interesting." Kelly stood before and switched legs. "Now, was it before or after you got that hickey?"

"Kel-"

"Wait, don't answer that. I think I already know.

"It's not-"

"Are you really about to lie to me?"

"No it's just... the situation has changed...and it's complicated."

"You and you know who are doing the horizontal tango. It's not complicated. I'm just wondering why you didn't tell me."

Payson rolled her eyes. "When? You didnt even give me a chance."

"Were you going to tell me?" Her voice was cold but Payson could her the hurt behind the words.

"I was, I swear. It just happened, I mean literally, just happened."

Kelly still looked slightly put out. "We're best friends. You cant let me find out these things on my own. A simple text message, 'Cant do lunch, cause I'm doing our coach.' It's not that hard."

Payson pressed her lips to keep from laughing. "Next time I'll make sure you're fully informed."

That seemed to placate the brunette.

"How did you find out?"

"Oh Austin said Nicky caught up to them before they even left the hotel. Therefore he didnt have time to put that silly smile on your face. Now that I think about it I should have known. Russo is a wimp."

"Nicky is perfectly fine."

Kelly ignored her leaning deeper into the stretch. "So how was it? Angsty and tortured. Hot and wild." She leaned closer. "Kinky? Sasha looks a bit kinky."

"Oh my God we are not having this conversation." She might as well not have even spoken, as Kelly kept going all on her own.

"Whips and chains," She gasped as another thought occurred to her, "Was there a whistle. He's a coach, so there has to be a whistle."

"I am no longer listening to you."

"A whistle and a hat, while he gives you orders."

"There is something seriously wrong with your brain."

Kelly grinned and leaned closer, "Did he spank you with his clipboard?"

Payson jumped up. "Ok I'm all warmed up."

"I'll bet you are," Kelly laughed.

"Is this how it's going to be from now on, you making dirty jokes."

"You have to give me something here, otherwise I'm just going to have to make it up. I mean how am I supposed to focus on the competition, when all I can think about is you and my coach doing sordid things to each other."

"Here's an idea. Dont think about it."

"I can't not think about it. It's burned into my brain. Give me something oe I'll just keep creating my own scenarios." She eyes lit up at her next thought, "Maybe I'll ask Sasha, I mean he and I have gotten close I'm sure he wouldn't mind a little gi-"

"Fine!" Payson felt her cheeks color a bit, she leaned downto stretch out her back and hide her face as she spoke. "Let's just say, gymnastics, is the least of his talents."

A slow smile spread across Kelly's face. "That's my girl."

Payson stood extending her hand to Kelly. "Now, can we get on with what we came here to do."

Kelly smiled broadly and nudged her as they walked toward the two coaches. "Well I came to Greece to compete, but I think you came to do something else. This week on As the Rock Turns', the buxom blond gymnast and the ruggedly handsome loner coach, finally get over their mutual denial and spend the night scre-" She was cut off by a jab from a pointy elbow.

"Knock it off, or he'll know you know."

"Alright but after we finish this, I want details, detailed details, every dirty lit-"

"Marty!" Payson said loudly.

"Are you guys ready?"

Kelly answered sending her friend a sly smile,"You bet. We are well rested, warmed up, and ready to take on the world, right Payson."

The blond just rolled her eyes, it was going to be a long day.

* * *

So they are together and happy...for now. This was kind of fluffy so please let me know what you think about it. There have been alot of questions about how long this story is going to be, as of right now we are at the beginning of the middle, if that makes any since at all.

As always a tremendous thank you to each and every person who reads, reviews, favorites, and/or follows. Your imput is invaluable and so very very appreciated, I cant say thank you enough. Thank you.


	22. Chapter 22

Ch.22

Life was not fair, to her at least. For some people life seemed to dole out an over

abundance of fairness and good fortune. Andrea sat next to Emily as they watched the All- Around finals. She observed as the other girl seemed to be genuinely cheering for her two gym mates, and even Wendy a girl she barely knew.

Didnt the girl realize that just like Andrea, she had been passed over. With her skill level and the format of this competition, removal of the two per country rule, she would have easily made the finals. Instead she had been forced into the role of alternate, called upon to help save the day for her team, and then told to go sit down and cheer while others were chosen to shine. The girl jumped up again, screaming her love for Payson and Kelly. Andrea would never understand nor could she respect people like that.

It wasnt fair, she should be competing. Everything had gone according to plan. Those stupid girls had done exactly as she'd wanted them too. They'd gone out the night before a major competition and gotten caught sneaking back in with boys. She knew this because she just happened to be in the lobby when they returned. She was in such a fortuitous position when they returned, because she was the one who told Marty they were going out in the first place.

It was perfection. After the NGO found out about their flagrant rule breaking, due to an anonymous call to Marcus Mcgowan, the coaches would be forced to withdraw their names from contention. Since she placed ninth during qualifications she would be allowed to compete. As she said before, perfection.

She'd waited all day for the phonecall from Marty or Marcus saying the other two were out because of a rule infraction, and they were counting on her to bring it home, but no such call came. It was probably because the building got such bad reception, and she had a shitty carrier. No doubt they were looking for her, waiting or her. She put on her leo under her track suit and made her way to the arena.

Surely he would be waiting for her when she got there, but no, he hadnt even noticed her arrival. He'd been standing with another coach from Russia. She made her way over to them, he was probably talking about her Produnova. She smiled and tapped him on the shoulder, only to have him ask her why she was on the floor, and instruct her to go sit with the rest of the girls in their cheering section. It took a full minute for the truth to compute, she stood there in shock until Marty turned around again and gave her a quizzical look. Wendy offered her a sad shoulder shrug as she backed away, but she hadnt cared. She didnt want pity, she wanted her chance to shine.

Bitterness and jealousy swelled in her heart. As she made her way back through the entrance she passed Keeler and Parker who were standing by the door gossiping as if they didnt have a care in the world. They didnt notice her either. Hatred and envy hit her with such force that it physically hurt to breathe. She hated them each and every last one of them, and if it was the last thing that she did, she would take them all down, so help her God.

After all she had done, after all she'd given she was still being overlooked in favor of others. Now, halfway through the competition they stood laughing in between Marty and Sasha. It was like nothing had even happened, all was forgiven because the were the golden girls, the chosen ones. Had she not orchestrated the entire incident, and been there to witness the fall out, she would have never known anything out of the ordinary had happened last night.

Hell Keeler even had a boy in her room! By all rights they should have been withdrawn from the competition. Anyone else would have been benched. But, the rules didnt apply to them, they never had. Some people were special, but it was never her. Even after she proved her worth, she could land the hardest vault in the world. She was the only person currently competing who could land that vault. Still it did not make her special enough. They had no idea the things she'd done, the pieces of her self, her soul, that she'd freely given to become great in this sport. One day they would know, one day she would make them see. Everyone would one day know and remember the name Andrea Conway.

She didnt look up again during the entire competition, but if the enormous amount of noise her fellow Americans were making was any indication, the delightful duo was doing quite well. She couldn't care less. As the days competition ended and all three of her teammates received their medals she didnt stand and clap, for the American sweep, instead she plotted. She may have lost this battle but it was just an opening salvo. The war had begun and she would win it no matter the cost to her or any one who got in her way.

* * *

"A toast to the most successful and talented womens gymnastics team of all time -in my most humble unbiased opinion- team USA. You ladies rock." Austin threw his glass back. As the people around him cheered his sentiments, before wandering off to mingle.

"I think it is customary to toast with something other than the contents of a keg." Kelly admonished leaning up against the bar."And maybe you should have purchased actual food instead of relying on the contents of your mini bar."

Austin smiled broadly, "But that is not nearly as much fun." He refilled the glass and dangled it in front of Kelly. "Come on, drink up, have some m&amp;m's the competition is over, this has officially become just a vacation."

"Until tomorrow morning when we head back to real life." Her reply was sullen, and she wished it wasnt. Something about Greece was just so magical everyone seemed different, happier here. She was actually dreading going home.

Austin stood up and extended his hand in a chivalrous flourish. "But until then, I demand you enjoy the lavish victory party I am throwing in your honor. In case you havent heard my party planning skills are legendary. As host I also demand that you feast from the table of victory and drink from the keg of glory." He bowed in an exaggerated manner.

Kelly tapped her chin and looked around the room in mock appraisal. "Lets see the contents of a mini bar, a hastily procured keg of mystery alcohol, eight girls, three of whom are underage. Nicky, who is about as exciting as watching paint dry, and Max, who I am about 82% sure is batting for the other team. This, is what you have assembled for your lavish victory party in my honor. Wow I am overwhelmed."

"You, Kelly Denae Parker, are a hard woman to please," He made a cursory glance around the room, "But perhaps you are right."

Kelly lifted her chin, "I'm always right."

"I am humbled in the presence of your greatness." She flushed as he smiled down at her. That was the other thing. She felt like somehow this trip had changed their relationship. Where before their banter and teasing had always had a playful feel to it. These past couple of days, weeks really, they started playing a new game and there was an undercurrent of...desire. It was as though they were standing at a precipice waiting to see who would jump first. She had decided it would be him.

His voice in her ear shook her from her thoughts. It was heavy with promise and tainted with temptation,"Let's get out of here and let the kids enjoy their party."

"Thought it was my party." She hated the breathless quality her voice had taken.

He leaned down and allowed his lips to brush her ear, "According to you I can do better."

She pulled back and looked him in the eye. "Dont tease me Austin."

He met her gaze steadily. "I'm not teasing, I'm tempting, and rest assured I'm no ordinary temptation."

She held her hand out to him, flashing him a devilish grin that helped her earn the moniker of Satan. "Show and prove."

He slid his hand into hers locking their fingers tightly, "My pleasure." He led her to the door but it slammed open before he could reach it.

Lauren rushed into the room. Her eyes sweeping back and forth frantically, she looked truly relieved when they landed on Austin. She came over and stood in front of Kelly as though she did not exist. "Austin I need to talk to you now, it's Kaylie."

* * *

"Enough all ready." Payson laughed. She threw the blankets aside, and tried to escape Sasha's fingers as he attempted to tickle her.

"Admit it."

"No way."

"Say it."

"Never." She screamed again as he found a sensitive spot behind her left knee.

"Take it back." He pinned her arms over her head, and bit her lightly on the nape of her neck.

"Nope."

"We can do this all night."

Payson smirked and rolled her hips suggestively against his, "No complaints here."

"Is that what you want?" He mimicked her gesture before pushing her harder into the bed stifling her movement. "None for you until you take it back."

She pouted. "Fine."

"Fine what?"

"Fine. Thirty one is not middle aged."

"And.."

"No way you promised me pudding and you brought me bread with raisins."

"That is the very definition of pudding. Broaden your mind."

"I ate it didnt I? Raisins and all." She pouted and watched his face soften.

"Alright I will concede the point."

She smiled broadly, and rolled on top of him. "Good. Now can we get back to the all night part."

"Eager arent we." Sasha found himself equally excited as she leaned down to kiss him only to stop due to a loud pounding on the other side of her door.

She decided to ignore it until Kelly voice rang out. "I have no idea what you're doing... Well actually I do but I'm choosing to ignore it... However it would be in your best interests, especially those of self preservation, to open the door now. Because in about five minutes Lauren Tanner is going to knock on this door, and while I will admit, there is some part of me, that would be thoroughly amused to watch you explain your flustered demeanour while you know who hides in a closet or under the bed-"

Payson stuck her arm out in the door and yanked Kelly inside.

"Took you long enough! I thought I was going to have to start naming names." She looked around the room. "Where is Sasha? Is he really under the bed?"

"Way to keep a secret Parker. What is wrong with you shouting in the hallway and no he is in the bathroom."

"Does he know that I know?" The brunette stage whispered.

"Well he does now."

Sasha emerged from the bathroom, "Yes Kelly I am aware. Your thinly veiled jokes from earlier today fooled no one, nor have you and Payson mastered the art of whispering. There will be a conversation. For now please have a seat, and explain yourself."

Kelly gulped nervously, some of her earlier bravado leaving her at the sight of a bare chested, yet stony faced Sasha Belov. She felt a phantom soreness in her limbs from the punishments she was sure he was envisioning for both of them.

She moved to sit on the bed but did a double take after she saw the mussed linens, scrunching up her nose and muttering, "Ew." Payson snorted.

She moved to the chair but stopped short when Payson muttered,"That's not much better." The blond outright laughed at Kelly's scandalized expression. He at least had the grace to blush.

"Good lord people show so restraint. I think I'll stand." She shifted uneasily trying not to make eye contact with either of them.

They stood in silence for almost a minute. Before Sasha awkwardly spoke again. "You came to tell us something."

"I'm getting to it. Right now I assessing the damage that one minute in a room alone with the two of you has done to my fragile mental state and delicate sensibilities. I might never recover."

"You're young, you'll recover." Payson deadpanned.

"Or I'll have more years to suffer with the horrors of what I have witnessed here."

"Get on with it or you're going to witness a lot more." Payson ground out.

"Yeah yeah, it's Kaylie."

Payson's expression tensed. "Kaylie, what happened is she alright?"

She passed out at the gym and she in the hospital. Turns out she was faking her recovery, using water, quarters, and ankle weights to pass her weigh ins."

Payson sprang into action picking up her suitcase and placing it on the bed. "We have to leave now! We have to make sure she is ok."

Kelly placed her hand on the blondes arm. "We are already leaving in the morning. Everyone trying to change their flights tonight would only lead to confusion, and we would probably end up getting back later than if we just wait."

Paysons eyes were filled with tears, "But she is hurt, she needs us."

"And you'll be there for her, when we get back. We all will."

Payson hugged Kelly drawing strength from her friends if she and Kaylie didnt spend their time whispering about clothes and boys she was still her friend."You said Lauren was coming, I'm guessing she told you."

"Yeah she told me and Austin."

"Austin! Poor Austin. How did he take it, especially with all of that stuff with his sister?"

Kelly gave her a blank look. "What stuff with his sister?"

Payson bit her lip. "You have to ask him. It's not my place."

"Yeah well he is already gone."

She saw Kelly's dejected expression. And went to her side "She is his friend too. Remember what you said, 'he would do it for any of his friends'."

Kelly pulled away, her mask of disinterest firmly in place. "Like I care, I just came to let you know that Lauren is looking for both of you. I doubt you want her to find you together."

Sasha had been silent up until that moment. "Kelly is right. I should go and call Alex and Ronnie and see how they are doing." He leaned down instinctively to kiss Payson but stopped when he heard Kelly clear her throat. Payson however ignored her friend and closed the small distance between them.

"I'll see you tomorrow morning." Payson kissed him again, this time longer.

"Alright, keep it PG kids."

Sasha blushed again as he redressed before walking past her and out the door. "Good night, Kelly."

"Night night, coach."

* * *

Thank you again for all of the reviews, and all of the new followers you are more than welcome. Please leave any thoughts or concerns or comments that you might have even if it's just one word. I love hearing from yall.


	23. Chapter 23

Ch.23

They were sitting in the waiting room of Boulder General. After their flight landed all of the Rock girls, including Kelly, had made their way to the hospital. When Austin exited the double doors followed by Alex and Leo Cruz they all stood up.

"The doctors say that her condition has put massive strain on all of her organs, if she hadnt of passed out when she did she could have done irreperable damage to herself. As it is the damage is still pretty bad, but the doctors say with time, proper support, and accountability she can recover." Austin looked at the group that was assembled before him. Their expressions ranged from relief to guilt.

"Can we see her?" Lauren asked, for once she sounded genuinely concerened.

"Yeah go ahead." Kaylies father said.

Lauren, Payson, and Emily rushed into the room while Sasha took a seat next to Leo Cruz.

Austin had been lucky enough to find a flight that left about twelve hours before theirs and he'd been here ever since. He had been suprised at the warm welcome he recieved from Kaylies parents, especially Mr. Cruz. Kaylie had also been happy to see him. As he'd taken in the various reactions, he noticed another brunette standing a bit away from the main group, Kelly. She was no longer in the waiting room.

Twelve hours ago his feelings for her, and the path before them had been so clear. He knew that their relationship had been buiding towards it for quite some time, and twelve hours ago he'd been excited about pursuing something more with the firey gymnast. But now, well, now he didnt know.

Payson exited the room first, and Leo went back inside. He excused himself to get some water as Payson sat down with a cup of coffee, but what he really wanted was to find the girl that had disappeared.

* * *

"I brought you coffee. It's probably horrible but it's all that I could find." Payson smiled weakly as ran her hand up and down Sasha's back in an effort to comfort him. He hadnt said much since they made it back to Boulder, but she could tell that he was upset. He tried to hide it, but he had such a big heart. Kaylie's illness was truly hurting him, because he didnt know what to do to fix it.

Sasha didnt allow the contact long, before shrugging off her hand. He saw the brief look of hurt that flitted across her features and wished he could take back the rebuff, but he had to remember where they were, and what was at stake, if any of the various people roaming the halls caught even a whiff of impropriety. Even if she didnt, he had to rememeber.

"I'm fine. How is Kaylie?"

"Embarrassed and sad, but at least she is admitting something is wrong this time." She twined their hands together on the armrest, his fingers were stiff but she held on anyway. "Be nice when you go in, she is really nervous about your reaction."

Marty came around the corner just as Emily exited the room and Sasha snatched his hand away, throwing her a mildly reproachful look. "This is neither the time nor the place." He said in a low voice before walking away quickly.

Payson shrank back in the chair and followed his departure with sad eyes. Was this they way it was going to be from now on? She thought their circumstances had changed but apparently just being back in Colorado was enough to put a damper on their relationship. She missed Greece already.

* * *

"You have got to snap out of this and come back."

"Gee Lauren thanks for the support. I'll get right on that."

"There is no time for coddleing. Since you left everything is falling apart. I fell and now I'm benched. That stupid cow Andrea is trying to steal my thunder, and there is a babbling toddler named Wendy Crapshaw, walking around with my medal. Not to mention Payson has gone over to the dark side. I mean she and Kelly are basically joined at the hip, and Emily, yes, Emily Kmetko is beating me out. The world is spinning off of its axis and it's all because you arent there you have to restore the balance. I need you back to right this sinking ship."

"Well it's nice to know how my illness has affected your life." Kaylie interjected her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"You didnt let me finish. Not only has Pay crossed over to the dark side but so has Austin." Kaylie's eyes shot up at that bit of news.

Lauren continued. "The only person who talks to Kelly more than her is him. In Greece when I went to find him, they were together. As a matter of fact the entire time we were in Greece they were together, whispering and canoodling it was disgusting. She is trying to take your place in everything, so you need to come back, for real this time, and claim what is rightfully yours."

"Austin isnt mine we broke up remember?"

"Kay, you and Austin are epic. So what if you hit a rough patch, just get over it and move on. He waited for you, he loves you. Even now, you know he was with her when I told him about you, but, who paid a fortune to change their flight and get here first? He still loves you, just let him know that you still love him too."

Kaylie looked down at the blankets on the bed. "I do miss him, and I could really use his support."

"So tell him that."

"Thanks Lo."

Kelly shrank back from the door, and moved to take a seat around the corner. She knew it was a mistake to come here. She hadnt gone to the door with the intention of eavesdropping, but when she heard her name being mentioned it had been instinctual.

She tried not to let anything that Lauren Tanner said effect her, but she couldnt help wondering if maybe the blonde had it right this time. Austin hadnt hesitated for even a second before heading to the airport, and it was obvious that he hadnt left the hospital since he arrived, he was still wearing the same clothes he had on at the party in Greece for god sakes.

She was so lost in her thoughts, she didnt notice at first when someone took the seat next to hers. It was the deep weary sigh that drew her attention. The man in question, was sitting right next to her with his head thrown back and his eyes closed. For a minute she thought he might have actually fallen asleep, but then his eyes opened and slid over to rest on hers.

She could see the sadness behind the weariness, and she knew what he was about to say before he even opened his mouth."Kels -"

She'd never dealt well with rejection and it was second nature to sheild herself from it so she stood up and cut him off. "It's fine. I'm out. Whatever this is... or was, I'm out. So no need to let me down gently or protect my feelings."

She walked away just as Kaylie's mother came around the corner and told him Kaylie was asking for him. Good thing she was already leaving, because she had a feeling what Kaylie wanted to talk about, and she did not plan on sticking around for their happy reunion. She spent the next hour sitting in an empty hallway stirring a cold cup of bad coffee, and trying not to cry.

She'd driven herself to the hospital so she didnt know why she was even still there. Perhaps she was just a glutton for punishment. This time she knew he was there before he even made a sound.

"I've been looking for you. I thought maybe you left but.."

"What can I say, masochist party of one."

He took the seat next to her and leaned forward on his hands. "My sister suffered from anorexia nervosa for seven years. Sometimes she could go months with no problems, she would be normal and healthy and happy. Then I remember times where she would be so weak she couldnt even lift her head to take a sip of water. Not that she wanted to because she thought water made her fat. I wasnt there, I was to busy training, yeah I cared, and yeah I loved her and visited, but I removed myself from the situation."

His voice broke with the next sentence. "I was so selfish. It killed her eventually. Her body just couldnt function after all of the strain she'd put on it. She went into massive organ failure, and there was nothing anybody could do, nothing I could do, it was to late.

Afterward, I kept thinking, if only I had just been there, maybe things would have been different. Maybe there was something I could have done, or said to save her, if only I had been there.

You told me once that I had a hero complex. You were right. I want to save everybody because I couldnt save her, but not you. You never needed me to save you. You're strong and brave in ways I dont know if I ever could be..."

He was still talking but Kelly couldnt turn down her internal monolouge long enough to focus on the rest of his words. When he arrived in front of her she'd set her mind to the task of ignoring him, but then he started talking, and she'd felt the pain, heartache, and love resonate in his every word. It touched her and she felt the same tears covering his cheeks running down her face.

It reminded her of why she was so head over heels for this guy in the first place. He had a heart that just never quit. He loved, and gave with everything that he had, and even then, he never thought it was enough. He was such a good person.

She couldnt lose him. She couldnt let the man she loved walk out of her life without at least laying all her cards on the table. She reached over, grabbed his face, and kissed him.

The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them. "I lied, I'm not out of this. I'm in, I'm all in. If this was Texas Hold 'Em I would have already bet the house, the car, the kid, and the dog. So here it is your choice and it's harsh but simple, her or me. And I know, I'm way to competitive, I can't cook worth a damn, I'm sloppy, and I snore. And I'm sure she's really great, but Austin I love you. In a really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last doughnut, hold a radio over my head outside your window, love you." She took a deep gulping breath, holding back a sob that was threathning to escape. "So pick me, choose me, love me." Her eyes hadnt left his for the entirety of her speech but even now he didnt say a word. She tried to read what his response through his face but she wasnt getting anything concrete. She could feel the embarrasment flooding her veins.

"Austin," The deep accented voice called softly. Neither of them moved from their current stances, gazes locked. "Austin, Kaylie is still looking for you."

Kelly took that as her cue to leave, he didnt follow.

Sasha had only heard the tail end of the conversation but he recognized the stricken look on the young mans face, and then watched as Kelly walked past him openly crying. He rolled his eyes heavenward. Why did it always have to be his gymnasts getting themselves into these impossible situations. The last thing any of them needed was another love triangle gone wrong.

He thought about leaving but he wasnt sure if the boy was going to follow him, or fall over. "Sit down." He commanded gruffly, taking the seat Kelly had just vacated.

"I'm starting to think this no dating rule is a figment of my imagination."

"I'm no-"

"Do not insult my intelligence. I'm neither blind nor stupid. I know that none of you follow that rule. You'll kill yourselves to eat right and show up to practice on time but none of you can seem to keep it in your pants."

Austin snorted. "I may be the pot but you are most definetly the kettle."

"I'm not judging. This comes from nothing resembling a high horse, as a matter of fact high horses want absolutely nothing to do with me. This comes from experience. I'm saying there is a real reason behind the no dating rule, and it is to protect everyone. Girls arent the only ones who can get their hearts broken."

The silence streched out for a few minutes.

"What do I do coach? How can I choose?"

"You know what to do already. These types of decisions are always painful, but theyre never hard. You are in so much pain because you already know what you are going to do."

Austin sighed and sank further into the chair before getting up, he turned around at the end of the hall. "Do you?"

"Like I said the decision is never hard, it just hurts like hell. The best thing you can do is breathe deep and wait for the pain to subside."

* * *

"You realize that this is The Spruce Juice, a clean wholesome family establishment, and not a bar, right." Payson slid into the chair next to Kelly. She'd come as soon as she'd gotten her friends rambling text message, about Austin and moving to Texas to play poker.

"Just let me have my moment. I cant believe I told him to chose me I actually said chose me, and then I walked away. But that was only after I realized your manfriend, had front row seats to the most humiliating moments of my life."

"You said it because you love him. I think it's romantic."

"It's not romantic, it's horrifying! Like man in a mask, with a chainsaw horrifying!"

"Romantic, Nicholas Sparks romantic."

"I said love me."

"Yes you did."

"Ugh dont remind me." She threw her hands over her face before banging her head down on the counter. "There we are, we're sitting outside of his sick ex girlfriends hospital room, talking about his dead sister, and I made it all about me. Im selfish, and I'm an idiot. I'm a selfish idiot, because lets face it," she raised her glass and took a deep swig, "Nobody ever chooses me, nobody could ever love me. I let myself get caught up in the fantasy of it all and now..."

"I chose you. I love you."

"You dont exactly make sound life decisions."

"Agreed."

"Speaking of which why do you sound so sad. Your last poor life decision ended well for you. Is it because Im keeping you from lover boy? You are free to go, and leave me here to wallow alone in my misery. I didnt ask you to come."

"No it's just, now that we are back, I feel like it is all going to fall apart, like any minute the other shoe is going to drop, and it'll all be over. He's pulling away from me again, I can feel it. He's just not all the way there."

"Ok, enough of that Debbie Downer. I'm the only one here, that is allowed to mope about not being loved. You have your man, you did it, you won, he's yours. Winner winner chicken dinner. Now you just have to do what it takes to keep him. Dont be me, dont waste time trying to make him come to you. Go to him, and then ask him, after you ask you, are you barbque chicken, or scrambled eggs." Kelly slurred, finishing her sentence by slamming the glass down on the counter.

Payson picked up the cup in front of Kelly and sniffed it. She recoiled quickly. "Wow did you rob a liquior store on the way over here."

Kelly's face and voice took on a serious edge, in the way that only a drunk person can when they are about to dispense whatever insights they have gained from the alcohol. "Im serious. In any relationship you have to ask, are you the barbque chicken, or the scrambled eggs. See theyre basically the same, but for one the chicken he gives his life, for the meal, aka relationship. He doesnt hold anything back, lays it all on the table. He's the bar-b-que chicken. Whereas with the other, the chicken only contributes a part of itself. Just a little piece, that it doesnt even really miss. He's still a part of the meal, or relationship, but how much of himself did he actually give for it. So are you barbque chicken or scrambled eggs? All in or halfway out the door."

There was some always a ring of truth in drunken advice, and even though the story was convoluted the message was still there. To make a relationship work you have to give your all you cant let fear hold you back. She looked at Kelly who was staring down into her glass as though it was a crystal ball that held all of the answers.

"Chicken or eggs?" She whispered.

Kelly looked up solemnly. "Chicken or eggs."

"And you are?"

Her face faltered. "Well I just made a bold chicken move, with a guy who is eggs. So, I'm going to drink a couple more of these, and get back to you in the morning."

"Austin cares. I know he does." Paysons voice was firm.

"Yeah like I said he cares about everyone. Everything he has done for me, he would probably do for anyone." She sipped her drink. "Chose me," she scoffed. "Yep Im a complete idiot. You realize I have to move in with you now. I can never go home again."

"But you're still calling it home, so that's something. Come on I'll give you a ride." Payson stood and waited for Kelly to do the same.

"I brought my car."

"No! You absolutely can not drive. For one it's storming outside, and today, with our combined luck you'll end up in an accident that puts you in full body traction, in a hospital bed next to Kaylie while she and Austin reunite."

Kelly made a petulant face, and her voice would have been better suited to a four year old who was just denied a piece of candy. "Sad, sober, not getting any Payson is mean."

"Only because she cares, now lets go."

* * *

The intention had been to drop Kelly off at Austin'shouse and let her sleep it off. But a pit stop at his well stocked liquior cabinent and two hours of conversation later, both Payson and Kelly were just shy of completely trashed.

"It's not us it's them. Them and their stupid boy machismo." Kelly was sprawled out across one end of the couch in the library, while Payson had taken the other.

Payson lifted her hand heavily making a vauge gesture. "It's not even what he said! Its how he said it, like I was a out of line! So what now I cant touch you? News flash it's not the first time. Pfft like he's the boss of me."

"He is the boss of you."

"Pfft.."

"What's worse is that we care. Do they not know who we are? Future Olympic gold medalists, we demand respect." Kelly asserted.

"They already have gold medals. Lots of them, olympic ones, bright and shiny..."

The door slammed loudly downstairs. "KELLY? Kelly are you here?"

"Uh-oh, Daddy's home." Payson giggled.

"I cant face him! Why havent we moved my stuff yet?" Kelly put the pillow over her head as if it would be enough to make her invisible.

"Because we decided to raid the bar, and I swore I'd never help you move again."

The door to the library slammed open and both girls jumped at the noise. Kelly dropped her pillow and Payson sat up to quickly and fell completely off the couch.

Austin took in the scene before him. There was a open bottle of tequila sitting on the table and a very dishevled Payson Keeler laying on his floor.

"Seriously?!"

Kelly spoke first. "How did you find us?"

"You sent me like ten messages about chickens and eggs and Texas. When you didnt answer my calls I got worried."

"You rode your bike in this weather? You could have gotten hurt!"

"Sasha gave me a ride."

"Austin did you find them?" Sasha came to stand next to him in the doorway.

This caused Kelly to start laughing. "I guess that means big daddy is home too!"

Sasha crossed his arms over his chest and eyed both girls.

"Um I can take care of this if you want." Austin offered.

"Not a chance. Someone had better start talking. Now. What the meaning of this is?"

* * *

Authors Note:

So I'm a huge fan of Grey's Anatomy and since it's spring break I have been binge watching them from the beginning. The Austin/Kelly scene was inspired by one of my favorite Meredith/Derek moments, it just seemed fitting. Also Kelly and Paysons relationship has always been modeled off of Meredith and Cristina (one of the best tv frienships ever). There will be a one shot soon for Kelly and Austin but it felt like this part belonged in the main story. On that note a chapter or two ago someone commented on the amor fati line from sasha's train of thought. Yes I love that story as well and I have a friend who has the entire phrase tattooed on her wrist (not because of the story) It just seems like one of those phrases that you can turn to when you are feeling sad or unsure about your circumstances.

As always thank you for reading, and please review favorite and follow. Any questions or concerns please feel free to pm me.


	24. Chapter 24

ch.24

"I'm waiting."

There was no response. His initial thought was that they were being deliberatly rude and ignoring him, but after further assessment of their condition, he became worried they might not be able to put a coherent thought together between the two of them.

"Ok a simpler question. Are you drunk?

Payson answered. "She is. Then I got a little bit drunk, so, we are, now, but before it just the her."

Kelly pointed down at Payson, "Mmmhmm, yep that's right."

He took a deep breath, forcing himself to ignore the adorabaly perplexed look on her face as she pointed back and forth. "Why are you drunk?" His voice softened. "Is it because of Kaylie?"

Payson scoffed, while Kelly pursed her lips.

"I'm waiting for the why then."

"You know why? Because we are chickens! And the both of you, you're the eggs, scrambled eggs"

Kelly voice was childishly excited. "Whoo! Tell em pay! Runny scrambled eggs with to much salt."

"Thats right the nasty kind."

Sasha pinched the bridge of his nose. They were getting absolutely nowhere, he almost wished he had let Austin handle it.

"Watch them." He turned to leave the room, and find something to sober them up.

"No your going to stay and listen to me. I have important things to say." She attempted to drag herself up from the floor with great effort, after the second failed attempt he went to help her. When he touched her arm to steady her she snatched it away causing her to sit, or rather fall down on Kelly's legs. "Uh- uh! No touching remember." She swatted blindly at his hand. "No touching."

He stepped back. She swung her head back to Kelly. "What was I saying?''

"You were going to tell him the stuff."

She stood again. "Right! I have some somethings I want to say." She poked him in the chest. "And Im going to touch you." She poked him again. "Im not a baby, and youre not the boss of me...well not right now. I have feelings, and those feelings are hurt, because you hurt them, with the no touching and the bossing."

"Bossy pants." Kelly called egging Payson on.

"Thats right bossy pants! I demand you take off your bossy pants right now"

"Umm but not in here." Kelly sang.

"Right. so for now you can keep them on, but later you will take them off." She nodded her head emphatically.

"Whoo, later, somebodys gonna lose their pants." Kelly cat-called.

Until this point Austin had been successful at stifiling his amusment but at that comment he snorted loudly.

Payson rounded on him. "Hey no laughing. Do you see her?" She gestured towards Kelly. "That girl is a chicken, for you, and your eggs. Man up, and be a chicken." Austin wasnt sure if her commentary required a response but he never got the chance to formulate one, as he watched her face turn green.

"I think Im gonna be sick."

Payson ran from the room in search of a toilet, but they could tell from the proximity of the retching sounds, that she didnt quite make it.

This time it was Kelly who rolled off the couch while she was laughing gleefully. She sat up with a dopey smile. "Thats my girl. The Champ. Best friend in the whole world." She sighed dreamily as Payson continued to empty the contents of her stomach in the hallway. "I love her."

Sasha was at a loss. He'd tried stern, then he'd tried understanding, but nothing seemed to even be registering with either of them right now. "I'll tend to Payson."

Austin was no longer trying to hold back his laughter, and he was still smiling when he turned around. It ceased the minute Kelly turned her glare onto him. "I'm moving out."

he crossed his arms over his chest and returned her glare, "Not today, you're not.

"Tomorow then." She replied breezily.

His retort was interrupted by Payson shouting from the hallway. "I like your house Austin. It so nice and big, so big. Why do you want to move out K.P.?"

"We dont like him."

"Oh right, I forgot."

There was some sort of exchange with Sasha before Payson yelled again."Sorry we arent speaking to you right now, but you can leave a message after the beep."

He was just opening up his mouth to speak when her voice called out again."Sorry about the rug."

"No worries, it has seen worse." He answered.

There was a series of slapping sounds that echoed from further down the hallway. "Hey no touching, bossy pants."

Austin decided to tune them out, and focus on the girl who was currently ignoring him. He watched as she blew an errant stand of hair out of her eyes.

"Do you remember the first time we met, well not met, because we spent the year before traveling on the National Team together. I mean the first time we really talked, that night on the roof, at Worlds."

She stared pointedly in the opposite direction but he knew she was listening.

"You were wearing this purple dress with like a gold rope band thing, and it swished when you walked." He smiled at the memory. "I followed you from the party that night, not in a creepy stalkerish way, but I just wanted to make sure you were ok. You'd looked so sad the entire night. I actually had no idea what to say to you, and I didnt really expect you to talk to me."

"The alcohol helped."

"True. Then I figured it was a fluke. After any major win everybody is just a little bit more friendly. So when I saw you at that coffee shop I almost walked out, before you saw me. Not because I didnt want to talk to you again, but because I didnt want it to be awkward. Then I realized you couldnt find enough change, it felt like a sign. That was my in, I liked talking to you, but you were still so sad, and lonely.

I'd never noticed it before but you were always alone. You never let anyone get close to you. After that day and your mother, I had a pretty good guess as to why you were so unapproachable. Even then, I knew any attempts at a real friendship would have to start with you.

So when you called me that day crying, it never occured to me that I was saving you. There was something about you that drew me in, it was that extreme sadness behind your eyes. I did want to fix it, but I didnt want to save you. Next thing I knew you were living here, but I still had no clue as to what made the great Kelly Parker tick.

You were a mystery. Everything else came later. The more I got to know you, the more I wanted to know. You had so many layers, funny, kind, incredibly intelligent,silly and serious, all wrapped up in a ridiculously beautiful package. I saw the kind of friend you could be to Payson, and I'll admit I wanted that for myself. I have people that I know and people that I party with and people that I date, but I never just had a friend. You see I needed you, you saved me.

You snuck up on me, wih your creepy murder books, your unique outlook on life, your resilience, but most of all your unwavering loyalty to those you care about. I realized I could spend the rest of my life learning about is no part of you that I dont want to know. I didnt realize I could be in love with you, until it had already happened. That morning before you left when you leaned up to hug me goodbye, I don't know if you noticed but I almost kissed you. I didnt even think about it it was instinctual. I started booking the flight before you'd even left the driveway. That night in Greece, I had this whole thing planned. What I would tell you. How you would respond. I even knew where our first kiss was going to happen."

"Where?" Kelly asked in a quiet voice. she'd been staring straight ahead while he made his confession.

"Hotel rooftop. I wanted to recreate that first night."

"That's nice." Her voice was still very low and it cracked a bit with the emotions she was keeping in check.

"Then all of this happened." He shifted and looked at her but she kept her eyes focused on the bookshelf. "Kelly, I cant just leave her. She's not strong like you, she wont make it, she needs me. "

All the alcohol in the world couldnt mask the way her heart was shattering. How could he say all of those things, and then just leave. She turned to the side so that he wouldnt see her tears.

"Please dont cry." He ran his hands roughly through his hair. "I'm messing this all up. I talked to Kaylie. I told her I would always be there for her, as her friend. Only as her friend. There is no way I could be with her like that, not when I have you."

She looked up sharply. "What did you just say?"

He let a smile creep across his face. "I said, I'm all in. If this was Texas Hold 'Em I would have already bet the house, the car, the kid, and the dog. So here it is, your choice, and I'm going to make it really simple, you can either say yes or no. You are the most challenging, most guarded, most stubborn person I have ever met. You are competitive, you can't cook, you're an unbelievable slob, and you snore, loudly. However, I am an amazing cook, I can hire a maid, and I'll buy earplugs, because you see Kelly Parker, I think I just might love you too. In a really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last doughnut, hold a radio over my head outside your window, love you." Kelly put her head down and found herself laughing through the tears.

Austin leaned down to lift her face up. "I really thought I got it right that time."

"You really did, it's just, I'm still a little drunk. Can we do it again tomorrow?"

Austin's laugh bellowed through the library before he slung his arm around her waist and pulled her close to his side. "We can do it again, everyday if you'd like too."

"I think I'd like that."

As he closed the distance between them she was reminded of the times when she was young and believed in fairytales. Prince Charming on his noble steed coming to carry her away to his castle. As she got older, and began to understand real life, the fairytale disappeared. It wasnt until now that she realized, the dreams she'd secretly harbored as a child had never actually gone away. Even though she thought she was completely over them, at this very moment, with this very man, they were all coming very true.

* * *

Sasha slammed a mug down on the counter. "Drink the coffee Payson."

"Drink the coffee Payson." She mimicked but she followed his instructions. He waited until she'd finished to speak. He hoped that with the vomiting and the coffee she might be in a better frame of mind.

"I dont understand why you are acting like this. What has changed in two days?"

"You did."

He sighed. the problem with spending every waking moment losing himself in the happiness that came from actually having her, was the fact that they hadn't had any sort of real discussions. Halfway around the world, locked in a hotel room, removed from their normal surroundings, they hadnt thought about how they would function in their day to day lives. "Payson, at the hospital, when there were so many people around, it wasnt the time or the..."

"Is that how it's going to be now that we're back? You telling me what to do and when to do it? Are we even together or was it just a figment of my imagination?" She stood up from the counter and approached him. "I dont even know what this thing betwen us means, and it's partially my fault because we never defined it, but I didnt think that we needed too. I thought that no matter where we were, no matter who was around, that we would always be us. Payson and Sasha." She was standing toe to toe with him when she finished speaking.

"Look at me Payson." He searched her eyes for clarity. He needed her to understand that the need for distance in public was in no way a reflection on her, if anything it was for her safety. "My feelings for you havent changed, but our circumstances have, and our situation is difficult. How we behaved in Greece was reckless and irresponsible, had we been caught..." He trailed off not even wanting to think of the ramifications of such an incident. "Just be glad we weren't. Things will change not because I want them to but because they have too."

"So what, that's it. It's over. We had Rio, and Greece, and now we have... nothing?"

"I hate this. I hate not being able to touch you when I want, or kiss you just because I feel like it." He took a deep breath to regroup. "You're like me the sport comes first. You are so unbelievably focused and I respect that, I admire it. I will not allow myself to be the person that takes that all away from you."

Finding out that Kaylie was sick again had damn near broken his heart. But more than that, it reminded him how even now, after both she and Payson had been through so much and fought their way back into the game, it could all be taken away so easily. He wasnt sure if the other three realized, but Kaylie would not be coming back. With her condition, and the pressures and demands that this sport constantly placed on her, Alex and Ronnie Cruz had decided that Kaylie just couldnt be successful. She wasn't built tough enough,

She'd been fine as long as she had been in the shadows, always better than average but never a true contender. As long as people just expected her to smile and turn out a 'good' routine, she'd flourished. Then Nationals happened, and she won. All of a sudden people expected constant greatness, where before she had been praised regardless. He'd seen the pressure to keep winning cause people stronger than her to crumble.

It was such a precarious edge that these athletes balanced on, and everyone had their breaking point, evenly seemingly indomitable blondes who could recover from a broken back. One day Payson would find hers, he just didnt know what he would do if it turned out to be him.

"I'm not a victim, you didnt happen to me. You dont get to just decide how it is going to be from now on, that's not love it's control. At the lake we decided to be a team, equals. I have feelings, you have feelings, then we talk, and decide together. We're in this together." Her voice was strong and clear by now.

He considered her words, before responding. He would give everything he'd ever had to have met her under different circumstances. Just a man and a woman, no Olympics, no expectations.

That would never have been the case though, because had it not been for gymnastics, the chances that their paths might have crossed was virtually non existent. He didnt have enough faith in fate to believe that would have ended up in the same place, at the same time, in a world this big, without the aid of gymnastics. It was because of those circumstances and expectations that he posed his next question. No matter how she answered he would understand, he just needed to know. "Am I, is this, more important than your dream?"

The question caught her off guard. She wasnt sure if he was asking her to choose between the two options, or if he needed reassurance about her feelings. The Olympics had been her entire life until recently, until Sasha Belov came walking through the Rock's doors and turned her entire world upside down.

She realized that he and her dream had become inextricably linked. Somewhere along the way, the dream had changed from going to the Olympics, to getting there with Sasha. He was still waiting for her answer when she pulled herself from her thoughts. "You're not less important. Sasha, there is no dream without you, and there would never have been a you, if I didnt have this dream."

He pulled her tight to his chest, and kissed the top of her head. "Then we'll figure out the rest."

"Together?" She questioned.

"Together." He smiled.

* * *

Hope you enjoyed it. This was supposed to be a Kelstin oneshot but it seemed to go better with the main story. I was thinking of doing a Missing Moments one shot of the night on the roof from Worlds if you guys would be interested in that please review and let me know.

As always please review favorite and follow.


	25. Chapter 25

Ch.25

"I have the mother, sister, and first cousin of all hangovers." Kelly moaned into the mat, as she collapsed mid push-up. "My arms are burning, my head is spinning, and I cant breathe."

"Maybe if you stopped complaining so much, you'd be able to use your oxygen supply more effectively." Sasha called from the edge of the mat.

Kelly rolled her eyes, and turned to her friend for support, only to be met with a scowl. "We got drunk, in front of our coach, we deserve this." Payson whispered.

The brunettes mouth fell open in disbelief. The sex couldnt be that good, Kelly glanced back towards Sasha, who was walking towards the stairs to his office, or was it? She shook her head to refocus her thoughts, those were questions for another time. Right now she needed to snap her whipped friend back into reality, and that reality was full of pain for them, and loathing for the aforementioned coach. "First of all, how are you not more hungover? Because you look awful perky to me. Secondly how are you not more pissed? No one deserves this kind of treatment. I'm not sure if I've told you this lately but, your boyfriend is a psychotic sadist."

A male voice answered. "For once I wasnt the one who got drunk. I spent the night reliving moments from The Exorcist while taking care of my girlfriend. I shouldn't even be here!" Austin groused from Paysons right side. She'd had almost forgotten he was there suffering right along with them.

Payson turned her head to the other side. "Exactly. Your girlfriend, you and Kelly are dating and you live together. Im not even sure how many rules that breaks. A little extra conditioning is nothing compared to what should be happening." Payson wheezed as she struggled through her last set of push-ups.

Austin stopped with his arms fully extended and turned to glare at the blonde. "Really Payson, you want to go there with me, right now. If we're breaking the rules then what the hell are you guys doing? Your little Romanian boytoy should be down here doing the same exact thing as us." He stood to catch his breath as he finished his last set of one hundred. "If anything I thought your 'unique' relationship with our coach, would save us from things like this."

Kelly jumped in, "Yeah. I mean cant you just take him upstairs, and I dont know, take one for the team. It's not like we don't already know you enjoy it."

"And on that note, I'm no longer speaking to either of you." Payson deadpanned.

"Dont talk to us, go talk to him." Austin suggested as he began his first set of sprints.

"Less talking more conditioning ladies and gentleman. After all if you two plan to incorporate binge drinking into your training regime, we have to make sure your bodies are in optimal condition to handle it. Isnt that right Mr. Tucker?"

"I dont understand why I'm here." Austin muttered under his breath.

"I'm sorry, I was under the impression that you felt the complusive need to involve yourself in every aspect of 's life. Why should her new training regime be any different. Now if that's not a good enough reason, you're also here because despite my effusive warnings to the contrary. You've found yourself engaged in yet another relationship, with yet another one of my star gymnasts. And this time not only are you involved, but the two of you thought it was a good idea to secretly play house." Sasha answered from the podium.

"Glass houses, Sasha. Glass houses." Austin muttered to himself loudly enough to make Kelly snicker. The young man wasnt sure how much his coach knew of what he had learned about his own illicit relationship with a certain blonde star gymnast, but he knew the older man was well aware that Austin knew something was going on. It took all of his self restraint not to call him out on his double standard. He might not be playing house with Payson but that was probably only because she still lived at home, and Mark Keeler had a thousand yard stare that would make Floyd Mayweather back down. The only thing scarier than Mark Keeler would be Kim Keeler, mama lion extraordinare. He wondered if his coach would be so smug when he was on the other side of being discovered.

"I can tell you three doubt my methods. Let me remind you that the American Cup is in four weeks. I simply want to make sure that I'm doing my job. You will be the most well conditioned gymnasts there. A well conditioned gymnast is a winning gymnast. It's not all flashy tricks and flips, we have to make sure that you build a solid foundation. With that goal in mind, after the fifty sprints, I want all of you on the ropes. Thirty climbs in fifteen minutes, make that fourteen minutes. When you finish that, cool down and you can start the circut all over again." His speech might have been inspiring had it not been thinly veiled sarcasm delievered with a sardonic smirk.

Kelly glared at the now empty podium in anger. Unlike Austin she didnt feel the need to hold in her anger. "He's mad because we live together! He's slutting it up with one of his 'star gymnasts', and he's seriously holding living arrangments against us? He wasnt even supposed to be there!" She stomped her foot in frustration before whirling around to face the duo. "Payson go talk to him!"

The blonde wiped the sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand. "Just for the record. We talked and decided that we leave our 'unique' relationship at the door. When we enter the gym, he's the coach and I'm just like any other gymnast. My going to talk to him won't do anymore good than you or Austin going up there."

Kelly rolled her eyes, and stalked over to the floor to begin her sprints. It was a lost cause, her friend refused to use the power they all knew she wielded over their coach, to get them out of this. She might as well suck it up and get it over with so that actual practice could start.

As they neared the end of the exercise Kelly noticed Payson slowing down, while rubbing at her side with her hand. Serves her right, the brunette thought, if she'd gotten him to call off this hellacious mockery of training, she wouldnt be groaning in pain. Kelly took the opportunity to make her point yet again. She jogged closer to the blonde, "I knew you guys were kinky, but I had no idea that you got off on pain." Payson tried to speed up, but Kelly matched her stride, as they caught up to Austin, who was sipping from his water bottle at the edge of the floor. "I'm just saying, I think you should be the one doing the spanking this time. Sasha's been a very bad boy."

Austin choked on his water before hopping to his feet suddenly in a hurry."Im going to take this opportunity to be somewhere else. There are some things a guy never needs to hear about another guy." That said he made his way over to the ropes.

Sasha appeared out of nowhere, intercepting him midway, and directing him outside towards the annex.

Kelly smirked at the uncomfortable grimace on his face, as he left the building, before refocusing on Payson. "On second thought I forbid it. No special attention for him tonight."

"I wish I could be somewhere else." Payson muttered.

Her friends obvious embarrassment forced Kelly to continue, she was in a staggering amount of physical pain, therefore no one would begrudge her some form of happiness, even if it did come at the expense of her friend's tomato red blush. "I mean it. You cant reward this type of bad behavior. It will only encourage him."

Payson decided to ignore her jibes, either that or she was to winded to talk. It didnt matter which as Kelly was happy to carry on the conversation without her.

"Why am I even worried, you'll be to sore to engage in any sort of sexy times tonight. Although maybe you could have him do things designed to make you feel alot bet-"

"Kelly, there's my girl."

The voice that interrupted them didnt have the clipped British tones that she had been expecting. It was so much worse, nasally and phony. Sasha came out of his office to stand on the podium and Payson turned towards the sound. Kelly remained stock still, in the middle of the floor, with her back facing the entrance. She saw the anger wash over Payson's features as the recognition set in, but she didnt need to turn around to know who it was, her mother.

"Well aren't you going to say hello to your mother?"

"Hello mother." Kelly deadpanned

Shelia narrowed her eyes. She did not tolerate attitude and back talk.

Sasha was making his way downstairs and towards them, when Payson walked over and caught his wrist, shaking her head gently. He gave her a confused frown but stopped, just off the floor.

"So I see you've finally pulled it together, and stopped moping around feeling sorry for yourself." Kelly didnt respond, but she widened her stance and took a deep breath. "That was an impressive showing in Greece. You still arent at your best," Her eyes cut to Payson, "But at least I've managed to turn that in your favor. Everyone loves an underdog. It wont take me long to whip you back into shape, and get you back on top of that podium.

The sponsors are already calling. I told them we'd get back to them in a couple of days. I would have said longer if I'd known beforehand the way you've let yourself go," She let her eyes linger on Kelly's hair with distaste. She had taken to wearing in one ponytail, in it's naturally wavy state. Sheila preferred it parted down the middle in two ponytails, or pin straight. "It shouldn't take me long to whip you back into shape." She gave Kelly an appraising once over, and then reached for her arm.

That seemed to snap the younger girl back into the moment. "Dont touch me."

Shelia looked slightly taken aback. "Kelly, I'm your mother. Now stop showing out in front of your friends and let's go some place where we can discuss business."

"No." Kelly stated firmly.

"No?" Shelia responded, this time she looked really put out.

"That's right, I said no. I'm not going anywhere with you. I dont want you anywhere near me, or my career."

Sheila rolled her eyes and took a deep breath. "I get it your a teenager, you felt the need to rebel, you did a good job. You ran away, found you a bad boy who rides a motorcycle and got yourself a fancy new hairdo, but playtime is over. Go get your things we are going back to Denver now."

Kelly didnt move, but that didnt deter Shelia she crossed her arms and widened her stance. "Don't worry I'll wait."

Sasha had seen enough, he shook his hand from Payson's grip and moved to stand in front of Kelly, plastering an obviously phony smile on his face, and held out his hand, "I'm sorry, I dont believe we've been introduced."

Shelia gave him a lazy glare, ignoring his outstretched hand. "Yet you still know who I am, and I know who you are Coach Belov."

Sasha pulled his hand back, but left his smile in place. "Good, then there wont be unnessecary confusion when I tell you to get the hell out of my gym."

Sheila didnt flinch at his words, but simply returned his smile."Happily, as soon as I get my daughter back."

Kelly's voice was clear. "I'm not going anywhere, I have practice."

Sasha gave an exaggerate shrug, stepping closer to Kelly. "Well there you go. Now as it is your first time here, you may not be aware of the rules but there are no parents allowed on the floor during practice. So you need to leave."

Shelia narrowed her eyes, and turned back to Kelly, her features set in disbelief, "Are you really going to chose this bunch over me, your family, your blood, your mother?"

The brunnette stepped around the blonde man to face her mother head on, she was grateful for Sasha's intervention but this was something she had to do on her own, there were things she'd waited a lifetime to get off her chest. "I dont have a mother. You've been many things to me a manager, a publicist, an agent, even sometimes a coach, but you have never been my mother. I dont have a mother."

Shelia adopted a softer tone. "Honey, you know that's not true. Since the beginning it has always been me and you, we're a team. Are you letting these people brainwash you? You realize they only want to keep you down, if you stay here you will only ever be second best. They only pretend to care to keep you complacent; managable.

You and I both know that you are not a pleasant person. It's not as if anyone could actually like you. You're bossy and mean and rude, but that is what make you great, what made you extraordinary. I'm the only one who can see that, nurture that. It's why you couldn't make friends when you were younger, they feared you because they couldnt control you; until now. You have given up your power for something as trivial as friendship and puppy love." She pointed between Payson and Sasha, and her tone hardened. "Do you think he will ever promote you over her? Wake up! Did they tell you that you were a part of the team, that they cared about you. It's all lies, I thought you were smarter than that. When did you become some silly ordinary little girl? Where is the champion that I raised? Where is the fight, the drive? That killer instinct that you were born with? I thought you wanted to be extraordinary, a winner. What happened to you?" Her tone was tinged with disgust towards the end.

Kelly's face was wet and her voice shook uncontrollably as she half yelled half sobbed the answer. "You want to know what happened to me? You want to know why I'm so ordinary? Why no one likes me? You happened to me! you made me, molded me into that person. But you're right I have changed, only they didnt change me; I changed me. And it was the best thing I ever did; getting away from you was the best thing I ever did." The declaration was strangled by the flood of tears that accompanied it. Kelly wiped her eyes fiercely, clearing her throat firmly and putting as much resolve into her words a possible. "I like the life I have made for myself here. You want to know the best part? You're not in it, and you never will be!"

If she was expecting her emotional declaration to affect Shelia in any way she would have been disappointed. The woman simply backed away and shook her head in a patronizing manner. "You ungrateful, simple minded, ordinary little girl. You may not want me here, but you will soon realize that you need me. I'm the only one that is going to look out for you. You'll realize that when youre standing on the sidelines watching all of you new found friends succeed. Maybe it will sink in when you're sitting in the audience in London instead of performing. Just remember this moment, when I tried to save you. Remember the moment you chose sentimentality over gold."

Sasha could see Kelly's spirit break a little more with ever word that her mother spoke. If anyone knew anything about overbearing parents and the damage they could do it was him.

"Enough, you need to leave now." All of the faux courtesy was gone from Sasha's voice.

Sheila's gave a derisive snort, and spun on her heels slamming through the gyms double doors. Sasha had a feeling it wasn't the last they had seen of the vile woman. He turned back to the floor to find Kelly locked tightly in Payson's embrace, as her shoulders shook gently.

"Practice is over."

* * *

A/N: Sorry about the wait and the brevity of the chapter. Life has been horribly busy! Senior year coupled with a new job does not leave one with alot of free time. I'll do my best to prioritize this story. Anywho hope you enjoyed it and there is much more left to come. feel freeto leave a review with any comments or suggetions, they keep me on task.


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